I don’t care what magazine cover Brooklyn Decker was on, bitch still looks half retarded or inbred to me. I get that she’s a bikini model and she takes a good picture with the right lighting, make-up, photoshop, but not when the picture is shot by the paparazzi while she’s filming some new shitty movie I recommend you don’t see starring Adam Sandler, who clearly cast Brooklyn Decker cuz he lives in a fantasy world that thanks to deep pockets, big money and fame makes his unappealing, almost annoying and disgusting characteristics a fucking aphordisiac to bitches….cuz they all like people they see on TV whether they are worth watching or not and really if I was Adam Sandler and I was making a movie, I’d make my love interest the hottest bitch of the year trying to make a crossover from modeling into acting, because not only would there be a lot of rehearsal, but she’d also put the fuck out cuz I was her fucking boss, and I’m all about playing power positions….

Here they are getting married in the movie, I hope this is a pivotal scene, so that you actually don’t have to see the shit, she’s showing off the tits that seduced Mandy Moore’s sloppy seconds, cuz he had hook ups and could get her the cover of SI, and the whole this is fucking boring. I need a drink…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

There’s some Italian piece of shit movie called Christmas in Beverly Hills that I’ve written about before, because the paparazzi agencies are posting pics of these random stars I’ve never heard of, but would want to seduce with my boyish good looks and by boyish good looks I mean my penis the size of a 3 year old’s penis, not that I know what I three year olds penis looks like, but I do know what my penis looks like.

I have heard of Michelle Hunziker, she’s some hot 30 something european bitch who has posed naked and shit, and apparently she acts.

Pics via PacificCoastNews