I am not posting these pictures cuz I have a fat fetish…see cuz I have a fat wife and whenever I get her in the missionary position, I tell her I hate having sex on the Fattress….She doesn’t get it cuz she’s French…but it brings me satisfaction knowing I got away with calling her disgusting and that she won’t cut off my portion of her disability for being fat check…cuz fat chicks are disgusting…

I am not posting these pictures trying to figure out how Ryan Reynolds ever fucked this…before ending up marrying Scarlett Johansson a less fat chick who has the world thinking she’s the hottest bitch out there….because I know it was obviously to ride her singing celebrity and get him meeting the right people who got him to the level of celebrity he is now…

I am just posting these pics cuz I love watching fat people trying to exercise to not be fat…It’s like watching slapstick comedy or a cartoon like some kind of unrealistic, sweaty, almost dying high blood pressure joke that makes me laugh….and I’m really not sure why…but think it’s cuz exercise is for skinny people, not pigs like this…what’s she trying to pull here….who knows, but it’s pure jokes…someone get this bitch a TV show…starring Scarjo as fucking her sloppy seconds..like it was real life…

Whatever…..

I remember the day I found out about Alanis Morisette. I was visiting a high school friend of mine who had moved away for college, while I was mooching off him and his parents and lived on his couch for a couple of days, in hopes of fucking all the college girls, which never seemed to happen.

He was out for the day and I went over to his CD Player and pushed play because I was drinking and wanted something to set the mood. That “Isn’t it Ironic” song came on from her album jagged little pill, and within about half a second I was dying of fucking laughter.

This hood motherfucker who used to sell me weed and introduced me to amazing punk bands and hip hop artists was listening to Alanis Morisette. Amazing.

When he got back to the apartment I had no choice but to get to the bottom of it, I asked if he was dating a girl who may have left her music in his CD Player, he said no, when I pulled out the Morisette, he didn’t even try to cover it up, he just said that shit spoke to him. I called him a fag, laughed at him about it, told some of our mutual friends and got on with my life, knowing I could never be friends with someone who listened to Alanis Morisette, and last I heard, as I had expected, he is happily gay and living in an arist loft somewhere.

Since then, Alanis has come in and out of my life a few times, all of which were uninvited. I always found her disgusting to look at, and knowing that not only did she turn my friend gay, but also every single man who has ever slept with her, except maybe Ryan Reynolds, who went on to marry Scarlett Johansson, who for the rest of her life has to deal with the fact that her dick was inside of this fuckin’ pig. Let’s hope it was for a career move.

Here she is at the beach.

Alanis Morisette is not hot and the thought of doing anything sexual to her big scary woman in song vagina does nothing for me and it’s got nothing to do with my inadequate performing penis and everything to do with her being a fucking a dog and not a Golden Retriever kind of dog that is loyal to you and brings your a sense of responsibility and happiness in your life so that you don’t kill yourself because you feel like you aren’t alone, which you are, but a dog of a woman you wouldn’t let lick peanut butter off your dick no matter how much you drank that night.

Her horse head, obnoxious singing and her artistic integrity bullshit is boring and someone told me she talks about sex, drugs, dyking out and her ex fiance who is engaged and fucking carlet Johansson on Howard Stern, my computer is running like shit so I am putting it up while I sort this shit out.

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5