A day isn’t a day without a little Hayden, not that there’s such thing as a little Hayden, more of a Short Hayden or a Boxy Hayden or Circus Performing Hayden or a Dancing Monkey Hayden or Big Hayden Arms and Big Hayden Back and Big Hayden Legs, or a Construction Working Hayden or a Wrestling Hayden or a Mini-Fridge all the College Kids Have Hayden…..but not a little Hayden.

Here are some pictures of Hayden in a mini-skirt for normal people, full length for her, while on her period, because whenever a girl wears red, it’s just strategic dressing for her period not to spill all over the place because no one likes the embarrassment of period stains….

Either way, some bitch emailed me about Jennifer Love Hewitt being fat and I decided to share it with you :

Are you guys retarded? Under what distorted definition do you define the word fat? If you’re thinking BMI, she’s probably underweight. I’d like to see your asses out on the beach with your ‘perfect stomachs.’ The two of you are not fit to shine her shoes.

So This is what I wrote back:

There’s only one of me and her ass is fat, but clearly not as fat as yours, otherwise you wouldn’t get all menstrual on me…

I’m glad you’d like to see me on the beach because I’d like to see you inserting things in your fat ass, maybe a hot dog or a cheeseburger or a slice of pizza, but that’s just because I’m poetic like that and want to see the food that made your ass going back into your ass…you hot little slut.

This is where I’d normally write touch your toes, but since I know you can’t reach, I’ll just say Touch Your Knees baby….touch your knees….

With Love,

Jesus Martinez
DrunkenStepfather.com