Good News…This cunt Ashley Tisdale, who I could tell was a huge victim of positive affirmations from her family and the public, who developed a confidence and a huge ego thanks to being cast on a hit show and a successful nose job, who actually believed she had it going on and was the hottest starlet in Hollywood because she wasn’t fat and cuz people were telling her she was has finally come to terms with the reality that she is ugly and far from a natural beauty as she hides her ugly face under her ugly hat and covers up with a bottle of water while leaving the gym she needs to make her fuckable, cuz a fat body to go with a broken down face is never a good thing, it would probably be the end of her career and she knows that so she does us all a favor and covers that shit up, and I’d like to thank her for that.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

A source close to Ashley Tisdale emailed me telling me that she lies about her age. I was told that she’s actually 5 years older than she claims she is because she wanted to play teenage girls and didn’t think she’d make the cut if people knew she was 5 years older than she is. That’s the same kind of false advertising you use everytime you tell a girl that you have a big dick or that you are rich or whatever other lie you use to get laid, only in her case it worked.

I am really never against a girl lying about her age, I actually really support it when I meet girls in bars and they tell me that they are 18 or 20 when I know they are 15 or 16, it makes trying to fingerbang them a little easier to live with and a lot less illegal.

All this to say, that whether Ashley Tisdale is 28 or 23, she’s still a fucking dog of a girl and her lies about her age are the least of her concerns and reconstructive surgery is a priority.

Bonus That’s Not Really a Bonus – Here are Some Pictures of Her Leaving the Gym in Effort to Keep Her Youthful Physique