The highlight of Ashley Greene’s career was not signing onto Twilight, to be part of the biggest thing to hit movies since Hunger Games destroyed box offices, making all their money back the first weekend with their first movie in their franchise, although her being on Twilight did make her a household name, something that was probably important to her…..but not as important as when she dated the Jonas Brothers, to further market herself to the tween audience, all while pretending to fuck, like anyone over 17 doesn’t fuck, unless we’re talking about you, but that’s different, because you’re creepy, awkward and a loser….unable to seduce even the ugliest of women cuz you’re too busy jerking off….but I have hope for you, like I had hope for this fake born again virgin for marketing…cuz girls are easy, you just have to learn how to play them….and Ashley Greene is easy too, you just have to promise her more fame, more exposure and be able to contribute to her teams bigger marketing picture….a picture that includes her in fishnets flashing a bit of ass on set….I dig it….almost as much as I dig her fake sexless relationships.

I hate the paparazzi…not so much the immigrants taking the pictures…but the agencies who control the pictures, who sell the pictures, and who work with the publicists to find out where the celebrities are when they aren’t staging pictures to get attention…..

They are the scum of the earth, they are trying to sue all the blogs cuz they feel that their pictures aren’t public, but that the celebs they take pictures are, and it’s a fucking scam….that fuels a stupid fucking industry…..

So since I think Paparazzi and celebrity gossip is fucking retarded – part of the reason I do this site…I’ve decided to partake in it by reporting to you that Ashley Greeen’s handler calls her Ash….a revelation on par with Brad Pitt feeding the kids Soda, or any other idiotic caption you’ve read this week that made you go “who fucking cares”….

Here’s a video of Christina Milian’s ass with some more genius conversation from the paparazzi in efforts to make this post worth looking at…but the idiot paparazzi didn’t follow the ass as it walked by them…every dude knows when a girl walks by..you fucking follow….idiots….but I guess that was expected based on their career choices…

Here are the outtakes that if you have any taste will understand why they are outtakes and maybe even understand why they should have been kept on the editing room floor instead of used to garner attention to some Ashley Greene shoot in Men’s Fitness Magazine….cuz she looks fucking horrible….so bad that not even a Jonas brother after being sent on tour for the last 4 months with some abstinence coach to follow his every move could jerk off to when pretending to take a shit…but that could be because she was his girlfriend and no one should jerk off to their girlfriends….it’s a fact….another fact is that this workout machine with her hidden agenda to stay relevant by targeting the youth like Hitler did…bores me even when half naked…but here are the pics of her anyway…

I watched the Twilight movie last night…not the new one….just one that was on my friend’s TV and I only did it because his teenage girls were watching it and I love interracting with teens…I feel like we get each other…and more importantly…their dad was feeding me booze.

That said, those movies are the biggest pile of smut I’ve experienced in a while….I felt like live blogging the shit, but didn’t want to admit I was watching the shit….but from seeing a vampire get out of a Volvo….to bitch using lines like “if this is about my soul, take it, i don’t want it wihtout you” all shitty acting and offensive to native americans while always hanging in the woods….I was surprised it brainwashed kids and made a billion dollars…not to mention I was surprised it made this bitch relevant….even if looking at her strong legs in shorts is better than looking at a bitch not in shorts…but maybe that’s just cuz I know she got slammed by a Jonas brother….if you know what I mean.

It makes me laugh that this twilight star ever pretended to be wholesome, or good, or christian when staging a relationship with the Jonas Brother…when you know the whole reason she’s famous is cuz she fucks and cuz people want to fuck her…

So this slutty but good christian girl who lives a life in god’s image and practices abstinence until she is married, at least in theory, because that is what she says for her PR campaign….when saying that alone should make her burn in hell for lying to the church and the people in efforts of landing fans and broadening her scope as an celebrity….to one deeper rooted than just being on Twilight….

I hate how Christian America pretends to be, when it is filled with sin….lies…corruption….greed and everything else totally unchristian…Drop the act and turn the world into one big brothel…like Ashley Greene is turning this magazine into a brothel…all titty and slutty and enjoyable to look at….even if she’s a criminal to the church….amongst all the other criminals in the church….so I guess it isn’t a big deal…not that I ever thought it was…

Nothing like girls in skirts sitting at a good vantage point in front of you…cuz you know there’s always going to be a slip up, no one, no matter how well trained they are, can sit and get up without flashing a little twat….and when they are up on stage…it’s far easy to catch the slip up, then the way I’ve been caught many times trying to do when a bitch is sitting at the same level as you….you know pretending to drop a pen, forced to crawl under the table, is far less subtle way to get flashed…

Unfortunaltey, I don’t have any panty pics from this TWILIGHT BULLSHIT EVENT, but I know they are out there, or that the audience did, cuz it’s just science motherfuckers…and sometimes just knowing that is enough to get my fantasy wheels turning, because I’m weird and love when girls let us look up their skirts…knowingly, unknowingly, panties or not. It’s always amazing.

This bitch had virgin sex with a Jonas brother…I’m not sure what that entails, but I assume it included male hookers, underage boys, chains, strap-ons, sex dungeons and whatever else he learned from Disney execs who told them to pretend they were virgins cuz it was marketable….since American is all Christian and wholesome and weird….and here are her rock hard legs from all her working out….in shorts…

Ashley Greene, the Jonas Brothers pussy they didn’t fuck cuz it is against god’s way and their homosexuality, but good for business cuz Twilight is a big deal and I guess so were the Jonas brothers before their fan base got their periods, leading me to think Ashley Greene may actually be a virgin, and as someone who has never fucked a virgin, I remain fascinated with the concept, until the reality sets in that getting famous in the first place means giving up virginity at a young age to produces, as quickly as lying to the media cuz your PR people think it’s a good move….despite how tight the pants she wears are…..too tight for the real Jesus if she actually was the Christian she pretends she is….who cares…these pictures are fucking boring…I should waste my time on things like this…

So Ashley Greene, the workout obessessed lie of a person who pretended be be a Christian when dating the Jonas brothers because it made for a good marketing campaign, it tied into their whole abstinence thing, but more importantly it secured her twilight ageed fanbase, decided to be real Christian and get half naked in a magazine, and I’m glad she doesn’t give a fuck about her faith, cuz this body is tight.

Ashley Greene is generally some seriously boring shit. All she does is work out…I mean when she’s not attaching herself to things that will secure her position in the entertainment industry, you know by pretending the be celibate while dating a Jonas Brother back when people remembered who the Jonas Brothers her, when not staring on Twilight, the meal ticket, lottery win that will pay her for the rest of her fucking life…and here she is rocking her cleavage like someone you’d expect to be celibate and not just saying that to lure the 12-15 year old market cuz they will stay with you for life like you were Britney Spears…

Who cares, I like great cleavage, preferably when nipples fall out, but this is good enough.

Here’s Ashley Greene, or as I like to call her, the manipulator of teenagers everywhere thanks to a solid PR team who managed to use vampires and the Jonas brothers to establish herself as someone relevant and here to stay, and she’s showing off her toned, work out addicted tits as hard as she fucking can, you know really pushing them to their limits of cleavage capabilities and I assume you probably like it…cuz you are like me and like all things with vaginas as long as they aren’t fat and even if they are fat…I’ll do it cuz the vagina has that grip on me….from barnyard animals to street hookers and everything in between…making me pretty easy to fucking please…which is pretty obvious if you take a look at these pics…and see that there’s really nothing special about them, yet I’m still celebrating them….making this whole thing way weird.

These pics would be better if her ass was actually shitty, you know the covered in shit kind of shitty and not just the no real substance, soul or appeal shitty…cuz at least her ass being covered in feces would give us something to fucking laugh at or at least talk about, like the drunk chick who shit herself outside the club two weeks ago, but instead I’m stuck with this garbage media whore marketing herself shit…..and that’s no fun…cuz I only like an ass when the cheeks make a smile shape where they meet the legs…not this weird deflated garbage…fuck Ashley Greene like you were a Jonas brother who pretended he didn’t fuck Ashley Greene, giving her a complex that she could deal with cuz it meant more teen fans she’s already locked down – thanks Twilight.

Here’s Ashley Greene in some kind of onesie for the perverts who think girls dressed in outfits originally designed for infants is hot….While it just reminds me that she’s overrated and that she doesn’t try to seduce us throught he media as she should, cuz if she cared about the pervert fans for a minute, instead of the 14 year olds…she’d have hard nipples and a fucking cameltoe….but then again…maybe she can’t get cameltoes…you know since she’s a virgin thanks to a relationship with a Jonas Brother….

Either way, she’s so fucking boring…it is almost ridiculous….

I don’t know if this is a fetish for any of you…you know a bitch leaving the gym in gym close because she’s not a fat lazy fucking slob of a person….but it is for me…and I have my fat lazy slob of a wife for that….you know wanting everything her near death, gilbert grape, motorized scooter and government disability subsidy isn’t…..

I mean that coupled with the fact that 30 percent of girls leaving the gym in tight pants are worth staring at, while the other 70 percent are fat lazy fucking slobs trying to be that 30 percent prime pussy, and that’s stats that work for me when I’ve got nothing better to do than sit around on a park bench and stare at bitches leaving a building…

If you’re not a 13 year old girl with a twilight poster on your wall next to your Jonas Brother poster on your wall, then you have no business knowing who this bitch is, or even lusting after her….you have no business seeing her sweaty ass and thinking about all the motion that went into making her that sweaty…you shouldn’t be thinking about licking the salty taste off her like you were some kind of pony at he barn and more importantly, the smells you expect her to have radiating from her cunt should not be something you get turned on thinking about….because she’s done nothing for the average man, she never sluts off, she’s solidified her position in the market, all by neglecting us by not getting stripped down and sexy for us, cuz she just doesn’t care about us…we aren’t the market that will make her millions, we’re just the perverts that feed an ego that’s already been fed….and I hate this level of security and cockiness….

And all this to say…she’s got Popeye forearms for calves…ripped and covered in sweat…what a slut…