The only time I have ever really watched the nature channel was when I wanted the Kim Kardashian sex tape, so I am not an expert on anything animal related, but I have a feeling that Dolphins are not native to Dubai, you know considering it’s a fucking desert, but somehow Mischa Barton managed to land a publicity gig by showing up to the opening of some 10 Star Hotel that just opened in Dubai called the Atlantis, or maybe she’s just been hired to feed and care for the Dolphins, because these Arabs pay better than Hollywood, especially when Hollywood isn’t giving you any work.

Either way, as she hugs this confused animal, you know trying to figure out how he ended up being stared at by a group of pajama wearing rich dudes in sandals, when just a few months ago he was doing tricks in the wake of yachts in the Caribbean, so despite needing the money badly, she’s pretty much supporting animal captivity and only animal she should be concerned about keeping captive is that pussy of hers, because people like her are so useless that they have no business livin’ so by association, either do anything they spawn in their womb and not some corporation’s idea of what rich people want to see when spending 1000 dollars a night in the most happening city in the world that has no business having wild animal attractions for their guests. It’s the kind of novelty with animal shit that made Michael Jackon’s Neverland ranch the dream vacation for 10-13 year old boys and we all know what that did to that Culkin kids self esteem….

Bad joke? It’s pretty much the story of my life and you’re invited for the ride.