I didn’t realize that Audrina was on Dancing with the Stars, but I guess it makes sense that she’s been thrown into “Has-Been” status, before she even really started, because the caliber show she was on, just wasn’t high enough to warrant other shows or movie roles, unless it involved accepting your fate as a fucking loser, getting half naked, and dancing around a stage humiliating yourself amongst other fucking losers, competing for a title that really means nothing, all because you’re addicted to having the cameras on you….
But as a hypocrite, I gotta admit, any excuse to get any girls, famous or not, moving around in tight clothes or half naked, is good TV, even if it is just a strategy to get more viewers, or to get husbands to watch with their wives, not that I’d ever lower myself to watch the shit, but I have no problem accepting the fact that you do, or posting pics of the shit, even if the shit happens to be a cunt who represents everything I fucking hate in the world…
I just think it’s nice that she’s accepted the end of her career….so early on in it…since she never quite had a career, but did have more of a lottery ticket fluke that set her up for life…
To Balance things out – Here’s Bristol Palin, another winner in life offered the opportunity to be on Dancing with the Stars, showing off her cellulite ridden legs….AWESOME…
Audrina Patridge brought her fake tits and tight little body out in a bikini with some X-Games, Vans Warped Tour lookin motherfucker. The shit is staged and paid for by the paparazzi agency who took the pictures, cuz I guess she is accessible, affordable, everyone likes seeing her in her bikini, she’s not too busy since her show was canceled, not that that ever made her too busy, and because she’s still relevant enough to bother with, and she’s just trying to stay relevant as long as possible, cuz it pays the fucking mortgage….
You know what’s a reality star to do to stay relevant….but more importantly…what’s a reality star willing to do to stay relevant….only time will tell…and in the meantime here she is at what I consider her best and most relevant to date….
You know, the future may be hazy for her, but at least she’s making ends meet and keeping her head above water, but I think she should thank her fake tits for that, they are the kind of investment that won’t ever let her fully drown….
Audrina has this thing called looking great when hald naked doing laundry after a heavy night of being photoshopped. Her wonky face is like a canvas to the graphic design community and I hear undoctored pictures of her are like the holy grail of training images at a lot of the graphic design schools….I actually don’t know what I am talking about, I just know that I have seen clips from the show she was on that will remain nameless because I think it is associated with Satan and I like to stay as far from evil as possible, and I know that on that show her legs are short, her face is out-of-wack and her pussy is being fed by some obscure one hit wonder who dated Ashlee Simpson cuz he was son her father’s record label, but for some reason, one she’s in photoshoots, her fake tits look less fake, her face looks less inbred, and her legs look long and lovely but unfortunately for her and her future career giving lap dances, I mean after hosting pool parties and doing photoshoots for bullshit Magazines like Ralp, it’s all smoke and mirrors…
Here are the pics…Watching a bitch do chores is always a good thing….but watching a bitch eat is always a bad thing….so I don’t really know how this makes me feel….but that could also be because I don’t know how to feel anymore. Somebody hold me and tell me I’ll be ok…
The end of The Hills are finally here, she’s dating Ashlee Simpson’s ex-boyfriend who isn’t even a has-been because he never was and I guess that’s just evidence that Audrina has come to terms with the fact that she’s peaked and from now on it is only downhill for her, so she might as well get used to being in her bikini, because it’s the only thing people will give her money for today and going forward….and I’m excited for her to actually hit rock bottom, because that’s when you get the bargain basement deals on her pussy….
I guess the common thread that brings these two lovers together and keeps these two lovers together is that they both understand what it’s like to be second rate celebrities who slowly fade into obscurity no matter how ridiculous their hair is.
Sure, Audrina is still on TV and still relevant as far as she’s concerned because she’s still on TV, but that’s all coming to an end. I know there are rumors about her getting her own spinoff show, but that won’t last, if anything that’s just the nail in the coffin of her bullshit celebrity….and I guess she’s hoping that when she slowly falls from her peak, she can rely on this clown Ryan Cabrera’s cock being there to land on, since he’s got little else goin on…but I like to think he’s just moving in on this now cuz he figures the last year will be the one everyone is watching and this may just be his stepping stone to get back to where he left things off back when he was fake-dating Ashlee Simpson….while real celebrities just ignore him…
Here are the pics of these idiots looking ridiculous.
Audrina was booked to host some Vegas pool party because The Hills aren’t cancelled yet and I guess the people in Vegas haven’t given up on her yet. They figure she’s perfectly cheesy, and her tits are fake enough for the crowd of Ed Hardy wearing, Grey Goose drinking, Jersey Shore quality people they attract….
Sure her body isn’t bad but her tit job is, she’s fit but her legs are short as fuck and I’m a firm believer that Audrina should save her bikini photos to ones that are get photoshopped, but you probably dig the shit and since I can’t post the pictures without getting sued, I’ll link out to one of my internet friends’ who isn’t as ghetto as me and can afford to pay for the rights to the shit….
So a dude got busted dropping off letters at Audrina’s house and he must be crazy cuz everyone knows Audrina can’t read. Some stalker….
He was in court and he got frustrated I couldn’t hear a word of what he was saying but apparently it is funny…but not as funny as admitting to the world that you stalk Audrina Patridge, who is fucking useless and barely celebrity….almost as bad as getting arrested for stalking the bitch who works at Starbucks cuz she smiles at me and a smile means she is my wife in my culture that I invented for the sake of justifying why my dick is exposed and I’m asking for a Latte, if you know what I mean…
But in more interesting news, you can use online dating to make tons of money….from lonely, desperate women looking for love….a hero who with a strategy that makes sense….
Audrina’s got a great body…Sure, it looks better when she’s photoshopped, but then again who doesn’t look better when their retard face is made to look normal and her legs are made to look long and luxurious. I can only assume it’s got something to do with evolution, you know how the stupid dogs in the dog park are always the biggest and strongest, while the smart ones can survive using their intelligence, the idiot ones rely on their ability to run fast, because based on Audrina’s body, she could run away from oncoming traffic if she happened to step into the shit, where as someone like me doesn’t know how to run, but would never get myself in the situation in the first place. That’s not to say I’m smart, but it is to say I’m fat and I’m pretty good at staying that way…but who cares about me…here are pics of Audrina in what might be the hottest picture of the day…and one I can only hope carries into the lives of everyday girls….
Audrina was in a Bikini for FHM and I went off about how this was her calling. She had the fake tits, she wasn’t at and all she needed was a little fucking photoshop to clean her up a little so that she doesn’t look like the retarded pig she looks like on TV, Video or pictures. It just takes a little smoke and mirrors that make someone so irritating and average looking finally worth jerking off to…but instead she didn’t lock herself away until the next photoshoot, she’s decided to walk around in a pair of little shorts, I guess in efforts to remind us that she isn’t a bikini model and she’s not all that and actually has short shitty legs and a long torso, not to sound too picky, I just can’t seem to see past girls who look retarded shit and in my defense, no one calls you too picky when you notice the amputee is a fucking amputee even though you still tried to bring home because she was easy….you see cuz I notice the shit doesn’t mean I wouldn’t try to get the shit pregnant….if you know what I mean…
It amazes me that these girls are “famous” and making money from being on a TV show, and not in a one legged midget doing back flips kind of amazement, but more like the amazement I get when one of the dirtiest hookers I’ve seen on the street corner the last decade tells me she’s marrying a retired doctor she met at the gym…like she’s not a fucking street hooker with a vagina that hangs to her fucking knees….
It’s like if this trash can do it, anyone can…or if this trash can do it, there’s something seriously wrong with America and I guess that’s something we can all agree on….seriously…Audrina not photoshopped is ugly, Cavallari back on the show cuz se couldn’t find other work is pathetic and me knowing their names, their show, their stories is straight up depressing…..
Last week I stepped back from hating everythign “The Hills” and tried to forget that the shit has polluted our life, where everywhere we looked, we’d see these fake celebrities and I allowed myself to appreciate Audrina for the hot body she is, because with a little Photoshop, she can become a pretty incredible thing. It was a mistake to have her on TV, or on video, or opening her retard mouth for people to hear, and the focus of her career should have never diverted from the original purpose of those fake tits…
So here are some behind the scenes pictures and again, she looks fucking great…and it really pains me to write that but I can’t change the fucking truth…
With a little photoshop and little clothes Audrina is fuckin’ rockin, so I’m not sure why her career is based on her not being half naked and photoshopped. I seriously would not hate her nearly as much as I do if she just embraced what she was supposed to be doing, instead of polluting TV and events like some kind of fucking joke she clearly is on the regular, when she could just be releasing pictures of her naked or topless on the regular instead. Sure, I’m not a manager or agent, and if I was all I would be doing is trying to get the bitches in as little clothing as possible, but I am a man and I can tell you that in Audrina’s case, it would really make her a valid contribution to society, instead of the stain on society she’s become, so let’s just hope this is a preview of what’s to come, because if she’s capable of this, she’s capable of more, dirtier and better shit, just as soon as she gets her head out of her ass and realizes this is all she has going for her….
I always said Audrina was fucking ugly and now you know.
It turns out she’s dating Ashlee Simpson’s totally irrelevant ex-boyfriend clown in red pants named Ryan Cabrerra, who I don’t think has ever done or accomplished anything, a reason I can only assume Audrina fell for because she could relate to it, since she hasn’t done anything or accomplished anything either, not that I think she has enough depth to even understand that their connection is based on them both being totally fucking useless, but maybe she us knowing why they are perfect is enough and does and just doesn’t realize it. Matters of the heart motherfuckers don’t always make sense.
The nice thing about Audrina Patridge is knowing that The Hills will be coming to an end very fucking soon. I have been anxiously waiting for this to happen for a long fucking time and it will be nice to see the cast go their seperate ways. Audrina to the stripclub/porn set where her and her fake tits were always destined to be, before being sidetracked with this MTV bullshit but a more interesting result of the end of The Hills will be Heidi and Spencer’s double suicide….I just wish their demise was a little more perverted, seriously, Audrina looks like she’s on her way to clean her house, which may be hot for some, but I prefer to keep things dirty.
It is kinda depressing that talented people are the ones who get torn up on the inside and turn to alcoholism and addiction, while garbage like this vapid cunt, think they are living the high road and are too moronic to ever be deperessed or bothered or realzie they are a fucking joke of a person, leading to a long life of minimal accomplishment and lots of money cuz they got to be on TV, while girls like Brittany Murphy, who are actually decent at what they do and actually have an IMDB not worth laughing at, die because of their inner demons. Someone needs to help this idiot realize how irrelevant she is so that one day, she gets torn up on the inside enough to end her life, but I have a feeling she’s too stupid for sadness and will always just coast thru life in this bubble of joy and the whole thing reminds me again that life is unfair.
