Britney is in Australia in a bikini with her family and new boyfriend / fiance / guy who is pretending to be her boyfriend because he is actually her agent or manager and gets paid a percentage of what she makes. Therefore the more successful she is the better off he is and his logic is that that pretending to be her boyfriend or fiance will distract people from the orgies this headcase was having on tour with her dancers, because apparently I’m the only person who respects a popstar who lets multiple men fuck her crazy pussy.

Bi-polar chicks are the best chicks especially when they are not mean bi-polar chicks, but are the bi-polar chicks who are constantly manic and hungry to get fucked and spend all their money in some erratic episode, and not the bi-polar chicks who are constantly depressed and busy plotting way to drown their babies and not get caught.

The real point of all this is to say I think I love Britney’s mom of two body. Sure she’s on a strict diet and workout program and her nights are spent dancing her ass off like well oiled machine on its last legs that she is, and I know the second that stops she’ll look like a real white trash southern mom is supposed to, but until that happens we should take this in and love it….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Here are some pictures of Sophie Monk looking like real shit in Australia at some event.

I’m guess she was up all night tending to the Paris Hilton herpe scabs on Good Charlotte’s dick because he came crawling back to her after breaking her heart by leaving her for Paris Hilton only to have Paris Hilton leave him for some other dude, making him realize what he had and lost in some serious emo pussy bullshit true love he found in Sophie Monk.

Pretty much giving Sophie Monk little choice but to go back to him, because that’s just what losers do and because dating him was good for her career, it actually got her work and noticed, unlike her own desperate publicity stunt attempts, all for reasons I don’t understand, since I don’t even get how the Good Charlottes have money, work or fans to begin with, let alone the power to make a decent lookin chick more relevant, but I guess that’s just the way Hollywood is….and here are th pics…not that anyone cares…she’s pretty much done….

I guess those pictures weren’t too hot of Sophie Monk since she normally looks like a muppet I’d like to fuck, despite the smell of Paris Hilton in her pussy, so I figured I’d throw these recent pics up of her legs to compensate for whatever the fuck went on at that event she was at…..

Pics via Fame
Pics via PacificCoastNews

If you’re wondering why I am so slow moving today, it’s because there’s a huge snowstorm here and the roads are fuckin’ shit. Traffic everywhere and it put a damper on me walking my half naked fat body from my bed to the chair I sit on all day. I’m a pussy like that.

Speaking of vagina, here are some pictures of Tara Reid in a bikini, and it can only assumed that her pussy smells like whiskey and that is a huge turn on for me. Tara Reid is one of those drunks who can keep shit together, because her job isn’t really a job, since she hasn’t worked in a long time, when the rest of us with real jobs always end up getting caught wasted and then fired, not that I have a real job, but a boy’s allowed to pretend, this is the Internet. That doesn’t mean I respect her for holding it together but she’s kinda like a hero to drunk people everywhere.

I am into Tara Reid because I think she looks good compared all the drunken chicks I’ve come across. I like skinny blonde chicks who are drunk, but that’s just because a common theme in my sex life was that I could only fuck fat drunk girls with slopy tits, so she’d be a step up. Her fake tits aren’t as offensive as the ones I can afford to grab at the strip club, making her a potential candidate for my K-Fed retirement plan, because anyone who can afford to travel the world with a purse handler and spend her days in bikinis can afford to support me but that’s because I’m pretty cheap.

I have no idea why she’s wearing 2 different bikinis, but I can only assume it’s because she shit herself. It happens.

I like Tara Reid because I feel like we have a lot in common. The only difference is that she’s got a budget to afford some dude to carry around her boots and purse after she gets a drunken pedicure, when I have to convince old ladies to let me carry their purses, so that I can run off with them and hope there’s enough cash to get me my next drink.

Reality is, nothing says I have a pussy or I have no self respect than getting paid to carry a girl’s fucking purse. I know you all probably kiss the ground that any girl who talks to you walks on, but that’s just because you’re a desperate loser and are scared of being alone. See, I’ve got no shame, but I still wouldn’t lower myself to doing that shit for anyone. I get mad enough at my wife when she asks me to take out the garbage or carry her grocery bags . I don’t feel like I have a vagina, even though every girl I ever got with felt like I had a vagina, so feel like I shouldn’t feel like a bitch.