I thought these were pictures of Avril Lavinge looking good. I was like shit look at her, she’s stopped dressing like a 15 year old suburban cutter who highlights her hair with highlighters, you know like most people who turn 18 and realize shit, that’s a stupid fucking look….I was sure she got a stylist, she started dressing like a normal woman, not like some loser holding onto his pretty embarrassing suburban angst filled youth…cuz they were the good years but then I realized the caption said Adam Levine and he’s with Anne Vyalitsyna, who I assume is a model, or at least a bitch who dresses my age, making me realize that Avril Lavinge’s got no fucking hope and she still fucking sucks.

Here’s some Anne Vyalitsyna in some Mom Jeans….This may be a really bad joke…but that’s nothing new for more and I like to think Avril Lavigne is the bad joke…So take that…

Here’s an awkward family photo I had no choice but to post…

Part of me hates Kim Kardashian and everything she stands for and the other part of me has been won over by her marketing enough to acknowledge she exists, watch her sex tape on repeat, but most importantly make fun of her cuz her whole career that isn’t a real career is not only a totally overrated scam but also a very funny joke, but more importantly, she’s fat as fuck yet marketed as a sex symbol, which makes the whole thing an even bigger joke …sure a joke that makes her 100,000,000 a year…but lots of low grade shit makes money and this glory is going to backfire hard and no money she made will make it worth it…wait and see…this ride will end and she’ll lose her fucking mind when people stop caring….

So seeing her with her stepbrother Brody Jenner’s girlfriend who looks like a 14 year old girl listening to CDs at the mall….makes this whole family an official circus freakshow….sure they make money…but money isn’t everything…wait and see.

I don’t know what point try-hard becomes authentic because I figured if you do it long enough, you know the teenage angst thing, with the pink streak in your hair and the fuck tattoo under your tit long enough, you eventually become that person you’ve always wanted to be, cuz no one rememebers the socially awkward white Canadian trash singing Shania Twain songs to launch a career, but I do know that Avril Lavigne’s still not quite there, and maybe that’s only because I don’t find the whole 15 and angry, fighting with her parents, emo punk scene kid shit hot, especially not on a 30 year old,

Don’t get me wrong, I’m more into my 30 year olds having the mental capacity of 15 year olds, just not down with their fashion sense, except when it is slutty and pantyless, which does happen….

Either way, OMG! It’s Avril Lavigne in a bikini and it’s so not complicated, somehow this bitch manages to turn you into half retarded adults who wish they were the skater boy in her songs, the Sum41 weirdo she left for a Kardashian stepbrother….and here is the pic….

Despite the fact that Avril Lavigne dresses like a 14 year old girl at the mall in the suburbs, she is 26. That means that her little teenage angst costumes, although a fetish to some, look really fucking stupid to me….and I’m sure to a lot of other people who like their 14 year old girl fetishes to star 14 year old girls and not the old hags trying to cash in on them…meaning these pictures woulda been better a decade ago when she first hit…you know when what she was doing was cute to us perverts and not desperate and holding only some mainstream indy kid image that paid the bills…and lured in all the lebsian haircut faux bisexul kids with no real gender who have a skaterboy of their own making her shit so relatable…and making me depressed about how shitty the youth of today are…

I can only assume she’s sexing it up to compete with her boyfriend Brody Jenner’s ex, Jayde Nicole, who has bigger tits and did Playboy, or maybe she’s finally willing to accept that dudes are perverts and only interested if she’s naked….or maybe she hasn’t done shit in a few years and trying to switch things up cuz she relizes the market she used to go after would never buy into her bullshit act anymore…cuz I can’t imagine her having fans…..

I’m hardly interested in figuring this one out, this Canadian pig fucking irritates me…and that’s all I have to say about that….

Here are the bullshit pictures of a bullshit “artist”…..

Like a common streetwhore, Avril Lavigne is taking her sexual business to the backseat of a fucking car. The only unfortunate thing was that these pictures weren’t of her choking on Brody Jenner dick cuz kissing is so fucking grade school….I get that Avril likes to dress like an 11 year old girl who hates her annoying brother, who just got her period, who is dying to get a lip ring and a tattoo but her lame mom won’t let her, but seriously, if you’re gonna stage a publicity stunt make-out session, you might as well make the shit worth laughing at, instead of this bullshit that I call bullshit…..cuz celebrities are hooked on getting noticed and if they really wanted to keep things private, they wouldn’t be doing this to being with….even I know to take my street hookers to the back alley at night where I can hid behind a dumpster so I don’t get busted…so this just proves the entertainment industry is all fucking lies…..

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Brody Jenner is rumored to be banging Avril Lavigne and I really am not sure why anyone would care since both these people are totally fucking useless and irrelevant. The only reason I am bothering with this is to point out that despite Avril Lavigne dressing like a 15 year old girl mad at the world, her ass doesn’t live up to the lie and I guess to rub it in that Playboy trash Jayde Nicole’s face that she’s not the only gutter Canadian vagina willin to bang a 5 foot 5 MTV reality star in Kim Kardashian’s extended family. Seriously, dude’s rich, he should step up his game and get actual good lookin’ girls, maybe some still in college, instead of ones with dying low level celebrity careers.

Either way, here they are getting more attention than either of them have had in over 16 months, stirring up rumors and boring the fuck out of me, cuz they are at the level of desperation where a sex tape is the only answer to really get noticed…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

It’s almost refreshing to see Avril Lavigne not dressed like a little suburban 15 year old teenager who cuts herself and writes poetry about how much she hates the cool kids at her school cuz they don’t get her, but maybe that’s just because I always found teenagers who think they are so smart and that life is so intense while dying their hair multi-color, getting stupid tattoos while learning the guitar to sing about their stupidity. She’s wearing a little black dress, she’s greased up and glistening, has whore make-up and that cheesy stripper chick skunked out hair that makes me know I’m dealing with a piece of white trash from outside of the city who if she gets too drunk will need a place to sleep cuz you’re her responsible new friend who cares about her safety and cuz she likes to get fucked by strangers cuz that’s why she wears such short skirts, crotchless panties and has 3 half-black babies with different fathers….

Pics via Bauer

I guess Avril Lavigne finally got her skater boy, but by the looks of this dude, he’s more of a figure skating boy than an actual skater boy, but maybe that’s what happens when we get older, the silly emo kid in platform shoes and spiked dyed hair becomes more of a fucking joke, you know that phase she’ll look back on and cringe she needs someone a little more refined….and by refined I mean someone who doesn’t care about how she’s gained 25 lbs and doesn’t want bang with the lights on…which works for him because he’d rather be fucking his heavyset male hairstylist and the darkness allows him to visualize her doughy body against his is actually his stylists’, only his male hairstylist doesn’t get him the same visibility as pretending to be straight and into this popstar who looks like she’s gained her holiday weight a little early….and lucky for us she wasn’t wearing a bikini…

Pics via Bauer

The one thing I’d want to see when my wife was off in St Tropez on vacation without me, is pictures of her wrestling some dude in the sand, even if that dude is clearly a gay, but that’s just because I am lookin for any excuse to divorce my wife in a way that I still get paid by her since I’m a broke ass trick, but I’m sure the average person’s blood would boil seeing their wife fuckin’ around with other dudes on vacation, even if we all know that whenever your girl goes on vacation she ends up cheating on you, because it’s one of those out of sight out of mind situations, at least that’s what every dude I’ve ever met who has gone to a resort has told me about how the girls they bang all have boyfriends or husbands back at home, but I wouldn’t know first hand because I’m a broke ass trick.

Speaking of resorts, what I do know is that Sandals Resorts are racist…at least based on this picture of a black dude in a fuckin’ tuxedo sitting in the pool to serve some cunty high maintenance white people like some kind of man servant with no fuckin’ dignity…who they don’t even give a fuckin’ bathing suit to serve them in…it’s like “Boy, you put on this tuxedo and you serve our lazy asses cuz we don’t wanna get out of the pool but we do want a drink, your job depends on it”..

Anyway, Avril and her lame husband are clearly not together anymore, even if her thighs look chubby, like they would belong to a married woman, and I don’t know why I am writing about it.

Why’d she have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way she’s acting like somebody else gets me frustrated. What happened to the wholesome little suburban mall punk who married her suburban mall punk boyfriend who she met at the mall skateboard shop where they would buy Vans sneakers and punk accessories. Oh right, she grew the fuck up, got a little perspective and realized the faggot she married was wearing 3 inch high platform creepers wasn’t 15 anymore…

Here she is in St Tropez pampering herself up on the way to a yacht where she’e meeting some mysterious, rich, tall, dark haired man who dresses like an adult and the whole thing is so excited, I just wish I was there to see Sum 41′s face when they find out about this, shit’s gonna inspire a poorly written pop/punk song for sure. I just hope they stay together for the sake of the kids….

And just a little words of wisdom for the suburban mall punks who read this site….If you meet another suburban mall punk from the same state as you, maybe even the same neighborhood as you, who has the same job as you and may like the same music as you and attend all the same events as you, it doesn’t mean you’re supposed to marry the motherfucker….