Shakira needs to invest a little of her Columbian coke money into her costume department. She’s been wearing this discoball tight dress too fucking much and I know hookers, like real low level hookers who don’t have a home who have more outfits than this and wouldn’t be caught dead wearing the same dress every fucking day, unfortunatley for their John’s panties are a whole other story for them though….but that’s not the point, the point is that I’m tired of lookin up her skirt to see a metalic pair of American Apparel shorts like I was at a 16 year old Halloween party, when the girls are dipping their toes into being total whores, but aren’t fully prepared to take the plunge into letting random men see their bare or thonged ass, making this whole outfit a fucking fail on all fucking levels….and here are the pics for you to live out the disappointment of this gutter repeatitive trash with me.

Pics via Fame

Lindsay Lohan was offered 1,000,000 dollars from OK magazine to announce she’s a lesbian. Call me a sell out, but I’d get a sex change and suck a dick a day for the rest of my life for 1,000,000 dollars. I figure I hate fucking my wife anyway and my penis is pretty much already a vagina and I can afford to buy expensive moist toilettes to wipe my face down when the dick is done having it’s way with me. I guess I am just cheaper than Lohan and realize that 1,000,000 dollars probably isn’t much to her, but I also don’t give a fuck about what having a sex change or sucking dick for the rest of my life does to my career, I think it’s pretty clear I have no self-respect and don’t care what you think about me.

Either way, here’s Lohan’s potentially lesbian vagina covered in a hot pair of clean black underwear exposed as she fights with the wind, who turned out to be the biggest pervert at event because I wasn’t invited because no one takes me seriously, but if I was invited, I would have definitely put on a wig and a short skirt and finger-banged her because I hear she’s into that and don’t need to give her 1,000,000 dollars to find out.

On a side note, I will pay Ellen Page 2 dollars to admit she’s a lesbian, even though I already know the answer to that.