I am not entirely sure if these are actually Ashley Greene’s hard nipples in a dress she wore braless to some fashion show, but I am thinking that they are, partially because I am bored and find nipples entertaining, even if they aren’t actual nipples, but just look like they could be nipples, but also because if they are her hard nipples, shit are on a fuckin’ slant.

She’s got on nipple aiming up and the other aiming down diagonally like some kind of bad acid trip, or the product of botched surgery, or just bad genetics and despite liking my women as symmetrical, or in my wife’s case as spherical as a giant bouncy ball they throw into the crowd at concerts, this shit is still pretty fuckin’ hot to me and not because she’s the only redeeming thing Twilight has to offer on a sexual level to grown men, other than the common knowledge that teenage girls everywhere are getting damp in their panties watching the shit, cuz teenage girls aren’t sexual objects, that’s the law, get it together, pervert.

Pics via Bauer