I was trolling through facebook when I got in this morning, because I had to pretend that I was up all night working so my wife wouldn’t find out that I was out doing drugs and trying to do 18 year olds. I came across some dude’s pictures of a girl who looked a lot like Topanga from Boy Meets World only fatter and more troll-like and I decided to reach out to find out what the deal was. It turned out that it was the real Topanga and this is what he wrote:

Me and a few of my buddies went to McFaddens in Worcester MA one night and it happened to be Topanga’s guest bartender night. One of my buddies used to work at the bar when he went to school and knew a bunch of the bouncers and bartenders. We got to be at the front of the bar where she was hanging out and she gave us a bunch of shots to take with her. She wanted to dance and started grinding me and the girl i was with, I did my best for being a white guy with no rhythm and the three of us grinded for a solid hour… the type of moves that would make Cory Mathews jealous as a mother
fucker. Even the DJ at the bar tried to get with her.

At the end of the night me and my buddies tried to get her to go to the party we were going to but she had to go back to Boston or some shit to catch an early flight back to LA.

I guess it’s good to know that despite being a child star for some successful ABC family show, she still manages to get work, sure it’s hosting lame parties where she bar tends in small New England cities, but I guess it’s a lot better than having a successful acting career where she is the most desirable thing in Hollywood that gets so many jobs that she doesn’t know what to do with herself, because I’m sure deep down inside she wants none of that. She’d much rather be a nobody, she just goes to all those auditions she gets rejected from for jokes, her true passion lies in partying with commoners.