Jennifer Love Hewitt seems to think taking out the trash is the fucking set of Can’t Hardly Wait or whatever that 90s movie she was rockin’ her big tits and small body in.

She decided to wear her pajama pants like the slob that she’s become, but snuck in this belly top like she was a trashy local Britney Spears slut at some wet t-shirt contest in the late 90s, only she’s not hot and willing to suck anyone’s dick since she’s not young and having a good time, but instead, old, single and taking out the fucking trash because she doesn’t have a fucking man to do it for her….

I don’t know why I am bothering posting it, but that’s a common theme in my life so I am going to do it anyway.

Some girl just told me about how she has a lesbian fantasy, when I told her that most girls want to get with other girls and asked why she hasn’t made the move yet, she told me that the only girl she’s ever even almost with was her 16 year old sister. They were drunk at a party and decided to make out. I figured that was weird but then she went into how she masturbated with her 16 year old sister more than once, one time was watching porn in her room and another time while having phone sex with one of their boyfriends and the whole thing was pretty fucking hot, at least a lot hotter than the thought of Brooke Hogan and her brother fucking, even if she’s dressed like a 90s video dance party in your face.

Here’s my new fetish because the internet has made me way too fuckin’ desensitized and it’s called Belly Button flashing. It’s kinda like when midriff tops made a comeback a decade ago, only more seductive since it’s not being made blatantly obvious. I feel like I’m in a Muslim country and I just got a glimpse skin on a girls leg where the socks and pants don’t meet and I am so hard because of my sexual repression that I am gong to go drive my car into a convenience store, because the browns even own convenience stores in their home countries, that’s how they got so good at it so they could take over here as their strategic entry point. So the next time you’re out buying a pack of smokes or a case of beer and a porn mag, realize that you are supporting terrorism and while you’re doing that, I am supporting Lohan’s decorative belly button see through moment.