Paulina Rubio is old. I always forget that bitch is pushing 45 or some shit….mainly because most Mexican women I know are 200 pounds, mothers of 5 and busy cleaning houses living the American dream, but cleaning up after people who are actually living the American dream…but she’s finally settling down and having a baby….and like any good pregnant chick, she’s gone to role around in the sand in bikini in what may be one of her last chances to be the Mexican popstar people wanted to fuck, as Mexicans go all down hill after making babies…and because she’s not too pregnant yet to make jerking off to her awkward…unless of couse you like pregnant chicks, which some of you do, maybe because it is nature’s most beautiful gift, maybe because if she’s already knocked up you can’t knock her up, maybe because you like knowing a bitch doesn’t use condoms, maybe you like the idea of fucking something a growing fetus lives in, cuz fucking a home is rarely possible….I just know I pretty much hate the shit and I just see swollen ankles, fat gut and pretty much career and body suicide where watching a pregnant bitch walk the street is like watching a bitch self destruct….but maybe you dig it so here she is pregnant in a bikini….
Royal Pussy has probably looked better than this mess of a woman…but I guess after generations of inbreeding we take what we can get when it comes to blue blooded bitches….it’s not like there are all that many actual Princesses in the world to get off to…and if you have a middle ages fetish…it makes masturbation pretty fucking hard…unless of course you are like my friend who go to parks and stages battles who is understandably a little too socially awkward to get laid….but who has no problem hiring hookers and dressing them up in period costumes….not that kind of period….actually historically relevant dresses he and crowns he gets made custom….sure it’s weird…but so are most fetishes…give him a break….at least he’s trying to maintain the luxury, exclusiveness and regal respectable behavior of a princess…while this Princess Madeline chick just jumps into the behavior and dress of a common whore….
Here are the pics of her and her sloppy body that is probably the root of why her boyfriend left her, cuz royalty or not, this body isn’t something you want to lock into for any amount of money….unless you’re me, in which case it’s all good cuz there’s a 28 year old pussy in a bikini…sloppy, rich, ugly or not…it’s better than what I’m used to.
Kirsten Dunst has a shitty weird looking body. She looks like some kind of monster you’d find in a horror movie and here are a few more pictures of her from yesterday’s bikini pictures that I was too lazy to post, just to prove my point….
I am disappointed in myself for not finding a way to seduce her, molest her, scream obscenities at her when she was in town shooting her movie, the closest I got to her was walking into a store an hour after she did, but I’m convinced I could still smell the sour booze, stale smokes and dried up pussy, but that was probably all in my head…..
Here she is on her quest to not fall totally into obscurity….
When you have a website called Drunkenstepfather and your slogan for the site for the first 3 years was “a place where I get drunk and molest you”, you do what you can to only post and link to bitches who are 18 and over, even if 16 is legal where I am from, because you don’t want the FBI, who are probably already watching the site closely, thinking that I may have bad intentions, even if I don’t, and even if there are far worse humans out there doing far worse things, like the execs at Disney and her father for exploiting her, so I don’t post 17 year old starlets in their bikinis, even if they are celebrities who give lapdances, and are fairgame cuz they want all the attention and they want you to think of them sexually, cuz I just don’t want legal issues….but I do look at pictures of 17 year olds in their bikinis…cuz I am only human…and in Canada, I am allowed to fuck them…..
If you are an aspiring model, I suggest you take this bitch’s lead and befriend one of the richest and most successful fashion designers around…. and fuck him….cuz taking old dick isn’t so bad when you can justify it by all the upside you get by doing it….and really Armani’s old and not in it for love, he’s just looking to have a good time, have a little arm candy, and smell a fresh young pussy cuz he knows that never goes out of style, and that as long as you have money and power, it’s really not too challenging to make happen, cuz girls are whores and usually drop all morals and values when it comes to personal gain….and here he is doin’ the Hefner.
I spent the better part of a month thinking about stalking Kirsten Dunst when she was living in Montreal, the city I live in. Unfortunately, she is hardly relevant enough to get my lazy ass searching for her, so I didn’t bother. I heard some random funny rumors about her, like that her boyfriend is in his late 50s, that she was buying lots of drugs from a drug dealer I know, that she went to a club and got kicked out because she was sitting in a bottle service table, that she likes vegetarian food, and most importantly, that she is short, skinny, and unhealthy looking….like the kind of pussy you throw a quarter at on the street, even if it is your emergency quarter that your mom sewed into your pants for a phone call if you get mugged, cuz she’s just that hurting….I admit that I would have rather made my own opinion on her by hiding in her hotel closet, but I’ll take their word for it, and here she is in some shitty bikini pics.
This is some serious troll pussy….I figure she got a little too into the whole Shrek is making another movie shit and decided she’ll do everything in her power to look like the motherfucker cuz she’s such a serious fan…I really don’t understand this situation, but it is apparently a soccer player and his wife on the beach, only his wife isn’t hot groupie pussy, it’s some pig shit that you probably wouldn’t notice unless the bar was closing and you had a boner you needed to tend to but didn’t have the 50 dollars for street hooker pussy….I mean is this soccer player a queer frontin’, is this some faggot shit that ends with HIV, is he looking for someone who feels like his mother, or does this bitch have dirt on him that she can extort him with, or maybe it’s for citizenship, but I know there is no way this is by choice…cuz even if she has big tits, she has big everything else, broad as farm equipment and it scares me cuz in my fantasy world girls like this don’t exist…but you may like it and it is in a bikini…
My idea of good TV is not seeing a bitch who has had 8 kids like a fucking stray dog in a bikini, cuz even stray dogs get saggy pussies and sloppy bodies and awkwardly big nipples after they’ve been forced into backyard breeding, and they are designed to have 8 kids at a time, while humans aren’t….so seeing Kate Gosselin, the lesbian who took fertility drugs to create her own village, and exploit her own village, because she had an idea for a TV show, and breeding was the only way to live out her dreams, in a bikini is pretty fucking disgusting, cuz even after months of Dancing with the Stars despite not being a star, her body looks like an abused mess, and I can only assume her pussy is worse, otherwise this opportunist would have released a sex tape by now, but instead keeps her junk underwraps…and I’m not sure why she’s with that Bill Clinton lookin’ motherfucer…but I am sure it isn’t sexual, since he doesn’t have a pussy, and I really don’t care about this pig or her show….or her bikini pcis…but I am posting them anyway.
Here’s some Canadian 21 year old who is on some show called the Vampire Diaries and she’s in a bikini. I’ve been hearing a lot about her over the last few months, maybe it’s because I am in Canada and Canada gets hard for their 5 actors who landed gigs in the USA, or maybe it’s cuz people want to fuck her, and I guess why wouldn’t they, she’s 21 and pussy is at its fucking prime at 21, since it knows how to fuck better than 18, because 18 is a little shy and conservative, but it is not as damaged as 25 where a few break-ups have thrown them into “slut” phases….but from an objective point of view, she’s got a pretty shitty fucking ass. I’m not sure if it is flat, or if it is fat, but I do know she should do some fucking squats, cuz some shape is lacking….but I’m not complaining cuz a bitch in a bikini is a bitch in a bikini….even if that bikini is jacked the fuck up like it’s designed for a post pregnant 40 year old who is trying to wear a bikini to be hip but wants to hide those unflattering stretch marks…but whatever….
Aline is some Brazilian 21 year old model who has been in Vogue and other fashion magazines, probably half naked, probably showing off nipple, but I’m too lazy to look for that shit….I just know that I saw this Aline chick in a movie called A Single Man by Tom Ford some fashion design student I wanted to see design her vagina lips onto my face after the movie, but instead I just left wanting to know who this slut was, but forgot cuz I got drunk instead, but luckily today, with the help of American Eagle and their campaign I assume is going up against American Apparel, with this bitch in a little bikini looking young and tight and turning me on, that left me forced to figure all this out like some kind of complicated puzzle that isn’t complicated or a puzzle at all, I’m just forgetful …what was I saying again? You see what I just did there didn’t you….yeah…I’m clever too. Thanks guys…
Gossip Girls may have trained teenage girls to fuck, but I don’t watch it even if teaching teenagers to fuck is a good thing, except maybe for a the teenager I saw today pushing her baby in a stroller who had juice stains all over her welfare bought t-shirt, but I have a feeling gossip girl had nothing to do with her pregnancy, she looked too poor for TV and teenagers have been fucking long before the smut show Blake Lively is on has been on the air…but I am down with looking at these photoshopped pictures of awkward looking Blake Lively turned hot thanks to Vogue in her bikini, but mainly because it reminds me that summer is pretty much here. The shorts are shorter. Bitches are in bikini tops on the street. I’ve seen 3 nipples in the last 2 days and it’s not even that hot yet. Good things are to come…now all i need is a serious heat wave cuz I hear heat waves kill fat people and since my wife is fat, I figure, this may be my summer of freedom…and I can’t be sad cuz it’s what nature wanted…it was her destiny…but I’m rarely lucky enough to have things go my way but I’ll keep you posted…
Phoebe Price continues her clown behavior in her bikini and I encourage, not so much because I like older redheads with shitty bodies in bikinis, but more because I like seeing anyone desperate for attention that they’d be willing to pretty much humiliate themselves, cuz a girl willing to humiliate herself to get noticed, is usually one who is pretty fucking easy to manipulate into doing other things, and even though we don’t have access to blowjobs from this bitch after we convince her that we can get her into the tabloids, it’s still kinda funny to watch….so cehck out this red haired clown clownin half naked when she should put some clothes on….
In Europe, soccer players are fucking gods. They are bigger than any celebrity and they have pussy thrown at them from every angle everytime they leave the fucking house, so I never understand why a soccer player would make the stupid decision of getting married, because you know the bitch is just a groupie, and that there are so many other fucking groupies out there, you might as well get up on as many of them as possible, before realizing you are retiring in a couple years, your celebrity player status is fading and you need to lock a cunt in before you’re stuck marrying some pig like the rest of us cuz we have nothing to offer….See I will never understand why a motherfucker who is considered a celebrity would marry an everyday girl you know is preying on you cuz you are a celebrity, when you can try to use your celebrity to get with celebrities, not because celebrities are all that great or mean you’ll happily ever after, but because it will generate more buzz around you and make the groupies want you more…it’s all real basic logic…fuck groupies you idiot…don’t marry them…
Either way, here’s his nothing special wife in action on the beach in a bikini….and all I have to say about her is at least she’s not fat.
Jenna Bentley is an irrelevant stupid lookin fake titty ex-playboy playmate who you’ve never heard of. She is apparently also a hooker…maybe not a street whore kind of hooker I appreciate, but the more subtle type of hooker who dates rich dudes in exchange for the good life, because they couldn’t get there on their own….
The reality is that being in Playboy is the equivalet to having a degree to fake titty sluts, it’s like having a built in retirement plan and guaranteed work, because rich dudes going through a midlife crisis (notice the long hair and tattoos), divorced or recently widowed cuz they are so old have usually done their share of conventional relationships that suck, as well as their share of escorts and hookers that are embarassing to bring out to social events…leaving them with no choice but to look for whores with credentials, cuz when you introduce your hooker as an ex-Playboy model, it’s status amongst the community, like a “I really made it and I’m living the good life” stamp of approval his neighbors envy…Like bitch automatically becomes the socially accepted whore….so when your fake titties have been in Playboy, there’s always a sugar daddy to fall back on….
Here are some stupid staged bikini and public weirdness the dude is loving cuz it makes him feel like he’s still got it, when clearly, there’s other things he’s got that got him this….not that bitch is hot, I actually can’t stand what she looks like, but you get what I am saying…bikini pics are bikini pics…enjoy her strategy to get noticed…that apparently works…cunt has a hold on me…
It looks like Shauna Sand found a twin….I doubt it was that hard….I mean every strip club has skinny blonde chicks with ravaged faces, fake tans, fake hair and big fake tits who like showing off their disguting bodies because for some reason they think they have it going on because truck drivers love them and buy them pretty flowers as they role through the club they work at….It’s not like Shauna Sand did a look-a-like contest…some doppleganger shit to masturbate to but I am thinking maybe this friendship started with fan mail that made Shauna Sand think a beach day with this bitch would be a great photo-op for the paparazzi and that’s probably why these pictures exist….and as disgusting as Shauna Sand’s vagina is, I can’t turn my back on someone with serious issues whether they are daddy or body image issues, especially when they put this much fucking effort into and cheap plastic surgery into it getting work….
The Superficial Has the Actual Topless pics, I don’t have the right to the shit, so if you want to see her hacked off nipples, follow this link GO
