Finally, some pictures of Lauren Conrad that I can jerk off to because I find booze the hottest thing out there and it’s safe to say that I am in love with alcohol, it’s been the most reliable friend in my life and has never real done me wrong, other than all the stupid shit I’ve done while drunk, like driving, or having unprotected sex with sluts, but for the most part we’ve had a lot of good times. So seeing Lauren Conrad buying all this booze for her party makes me want to be on a shitty reality TV show so that I can afford my very own trip to the alcohol store like this. This is the shit that makes me want to win the lottery or rob some old bitch, because I never really cared about the nice cars or houses money buys, I just care about trips to the liquor store.

I can only assume that Lauren Conrad’s putting all this effort into stocking up her bar in hopes that this booze will make some poor fucker drunk enough to fuck her or at least think she’s worth a fuck.