I have some bad news. Katy Perry has gone on to win a Brit award, meaning she’s got international notoriety and that depresses me. Not only do I know she’s a talentless hack, but that song is fucking painful, cheap, and fucking useless. It’s simple attention craving at it’s best because everyone knows that the idea of girl on girl is one of the most basic fantasies of straight men everywhere and she sets it to a beat gay men can dance to, teenage girls can emulate and the whole thing is a fucking mess. Maybe I’m just jealous because my “I kissed a boy and I got aroused” single didn’t get the same visibility. Sure, I only performed it once, while drunk, in a club, trying to seduce a girl who was into gay porn, and the whole thing was a lie, but that shouldn’t matter because so is this hag.

Either way, nice panty line you cow, I’d say you’re supposed to go bareback in these kinds of pants, but I know those reinforced spanx are essential to keep your fucking disgusting from escaping.

Here she is trying to be sexy while performing earlier in the week….

It was the British Music Awards last night and Girls Aloud were the opening act. I know, why would you care about the British Music Awards, you don’t live there so it doesn’t affect you, not to mention award shows are a total waste of fucking time and are more of a jerk off fest where people who already have massive egos get pinned up against each other for one to walk away the super ego, meanwhile every person in the room has already won the fucking lottery, but at least every now and then, bands I hate like Nickelback aren’t in the spotlight, and a group of slut Spice Girl impersonators who somehow avoided a career of stripping take center fucking stage and there’s nothing wrong with that, I mean other than how bad their music is, but who cares about the music when they’ve got tits. Right?

Here is member Sarah Harding’s Friend and by friend I mean assistant she probably shits on daily, Taking a Dive…..because it is funny and something These Drunk Sluts are Used To