Abigail Clancy is some UK cokehead who was dating a footballer and who claims to be a lingerie model but I’ve never really heard much about her and I don’t really know much about her and I don’t really have anything to say about her other than that here she is dressed like a discoball and she isn’t wearing a bra because everyone knows that discoballs don’t wear bras and she likes to keep things authentic and by authentic I mean she likes to do anything for publicity, attention, fame and money…and it works for me….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

In doing marketing right, Pepsi recruited some pretty decent pussy to wear her bikini in hopes of selling product, and that’s a win for me. Sure in America Pepsi and every other corporation is scared to upset the Christian fundamentalists by exploiting girls in their ads, even though they are are supposed to because it’s the oldest marketing trick in the fucking book and who refuse to advertise on my site because I post nudity but not on Playboy’s site because they are “premium” for some fucking reason we call being friends with the advertiser buyers and marketing execs, because America fucking sucks and isn’t about freedom, it’s about controlling the amount of pussy pictures we put out there because we can’t finance hiring a team of pussy posting perverts, you oppressive Jesus loving fucking cowboy pieces of shit.

Abigail Clancy is some UK coke slut who landed a footballer and started dating him and touring as a WAG a couple of years ago, until a video of her doing blow was released to the media, leading to him dumping her via fax, to try to clean his image, because you know where a girl’s ripping lines, the guy she’s fuckin’ isn’t too far behind, and that’s the kind of shit pro athletes don’t really like having out there about themselves, despite the fact that most of the pro athlete’s I’ve ever seen at bars and clubs over the last 15 years, have been the first in the bathroom line, but I guess none of that matters and what does matter is that she did some shitty shoot for FHM Germany, wearing a Guns N’ Roses shirt, because Germany’s a little slow on shit, proven in David Hasselhoff’s singing success there and their failure to take over the world back in the 40s.

Here’s some import I’ve never heard of topless. Other people are posting it, despite it’s shitty quality and the non-inspiring nature of a chick topless at the beach or tanning because chicks should always be topless and making a big deal out of it is so virginal that it makes girls think topless is a bigger deal than it is because assholes like you will always be there to gawk in awe while stroking your boner over a fucking nipple, making the whole fucking experience really uncomfortable for everyone, especially the girl involved who just wants to be topless in peace and by peace I mean, while I stare at her from afar with a pair of binoculars.

Either way, if I didn’t post it, I’d be an inadequate blogger and despite already knowing that, I figure I’ll try to trick you into thinkin’ otherwise.

Why do they make matching panty sets when no one ever wears them? The only bitches who wear matching sets seem to be strippers when on stage or old ladies trying to be sexy for their husbands or young girls who think they need to match everything, like the kind of girl who wears socks that are the same color as her shirt. It was big in the 90s.

Nothing says wild like wearing a pair of animal print panties, at least that’s what 40 year old bitches think, because it makes them feel like a wild girl and whenever they put them on they feel like their vagina’s are some kind of exotic animal, unfortunately my experience with animal print panties is that the only thing exotic is the smell. But to be fair, the bitches wearing them were pretty inexpensive and unshowered….they had better things to do….like turn tricks and crystal meth….

Either way, here is Abigail Clancy, some UK Model who was on the show Britain’s Next Top Model. She came in second but since she was dating a footballer – got more media attention than the actual winner, she went on to become a lingerie model and was busted doing cocaine and fuckin’ around with an ex boyfriend leading her footballer to drop her ass. Yes, I read wikipedia.

So I guess it’s natural for a cokewhore who is used to wearing lingerie to show up to an event in see-through dress intentionally, but not obvious enough, so that she can plead ignorance while knowing deep down inside that she wants more attention and the only way she knows how to get it is to show off the only thing that ever worked for her and that is a half naked body.

It’s like that time when this girl I knew wanted male attention because her dad wasn’t ever there for her growing up, so she every night she’d fuck a different dude, convincing herself that she wasn’t a slut and was a free, empowered, sex in the city type of woman, while all she really wanted was a man to love and respect her but instead ended up staring in numerous gang bang videos.

And here is Abigail Clancy topless on a yacht and apparently she’s a catwalk and lingerie model. In either case, I figure that anyone who doesn’t look repulsive in a bikini and has cause to be on a yacht is worth my attention.

My name is Harley Houston, by the way. I’m a guy who met Jesus in the park. He started talking to me while I was pissing on a tree. At first I thought he was some kind of gear-box who was just trying to get a look at my junk, but it turned out that he just wanted to mooch some of my bourbon. Normally, I don’t share my whiskey with strange-o dirt bags that sneak up on me while my dick is in my hand, but I saw that he’s a Mexican. I have this thing for Mexican chicks, and since Mexicans are Catholic, I figured he most definitely had to have some sisters.

By the way, if you’re a Mexican female, or any other kind Latina (I can’t really tell the difference), you should drop me a line at houstonharley[at]drunkenstepfather.com because I think that that would be hot. Maybe we could get together and get sauced on cheap wine. I’m even okay with you being on top, so long as you promise that you’ll still finish if I fall asleep.