I’ve already posted pictures from this day in Cindy Crawford’s life the other day, but I’ve been really drunk the last few weeks and this type of repetition is a lot better than the shit I pull on a nightly basis, like repeatedly starting fights, repeatedly sexually harassing girls, repeatedly making fun of people, repeatedly introducing myself to the same person 12 times, repeatedly waking up in random places and repeatedly doing the Soulja Boy dance, cuz no one does it quite like me.
I’ve been drinking a lot of vodka lately and since my liver is broken and my digestive system seems broken too, every time I take a shit it smells like fuckin’ vodka and gives me the urge to scoop in and eat the shit to see if it takes off the fuckin’ edge I have from last night.
Speaking of shit. Here’s Cindy Crawford in a bikini, reminding us that everything turns to shit even supermodels we all loved in the 90s become middle-aged soccer moms who have hotter bodies than other middle aged soccer moms, but are still middle-aged soccer moms who will never be 19 years old again and that is one of life’s great tragedies.
In being hungover, uninspired, bored and lazy. I decided to let some girl who added me to facebook write this post without having seen the pictures because this shit’s like American Idol, the blog version, only difference is, writing on the site doesn’t make you an idol to anyone except maybe to people in third world countries, but that’s just because they’re jealous that you have a computer and free time to spend writing garbage for a website, while they’re out working the field and eating bugs to survive.
This is what she wrote:
Cindy Crawford is an ugly old bitch who sucks and I ahte her. I wish she would take that mole off her face and shove it down her throat so that she’d choke and then die. But I’d still fuck her.
Here are some pictures of Cindy Crawford talking on a cellphone at some toy store she brought her kids to, because when you are rich and you have kids, showering them with things they don’t need is what you’ve gotta do. I am guessing they are probably her life because she’s really got nothing else going for her, I haven’t seen her cast on Dancing with the Stars or any Celebrity Big Brother shit, so I can safely assume that her kids are her purpose. The reason I am posting these pictures is because I thought it was funny that she pulled her phone away to strike a pose for the paparazzi like she’s still a fuckin’ supermodel, I guess it’s hard to grasp that your getting older and trying to prove that you’ve still got what it takes makes you feel better about things. I once knew am old dude, I’m talking in his 70s who used to be into boxing when he was a kid and was some kind of champion, every time dude got drunk he’d lapse into that boxing tough guy mentality and pick fights with young college kids to prove he still had it and every single time he’d end up getting his fucking ass kicked….but just kept on doing it. I guess you gotta respect that kind of spirit, it’s a lot more inspiring than you being too scared to get a job because your mom’s going to ask you to move out of her house because you like that she always cooks you dinner, there’s always food in the fridge, your laundry always gets done and bed always gets made. If only chicks found that as appealing as your man-pussy ass. Yeah I know the whole living with your mom virgin thing is getting repetitive, but I am telling you it never gets old for me….
I got an email from one of the 5 people who read this site occaisionally saying we give way to much exposure to the young, trashy Hollywood cunts, and that we need to post more MILF’s, so here’s some Cindy Crawford action which I hope is okay because she A) is a mom and B) you (probably) want to fuck her. If I’m wrong just cut me a bit of slack, because I’m an 18 year old girl who thinks more about my eating disorder then fucking older chicks, you know? That may change when I got to college next year and start “experimenting”, but more on that later…
I knew this girl Angie, a girl a lot older then me, who was the biggest slut I have ever and probably will ever meet. Every dude that hung out with her had run with her and from what I understand she used abortion as her form of birth control, and I mean I’m not anti abortion, but like fuck, come on. She had a Mom who everyone used to fuck as well, and the whole thing was really bizarre to me, cause I was like 15. Thing was, she wasn’t like a hot mom either, you know? More like white trash alcoholic welfare Mom.
Anyways, the whole joke this during time was that no one would ever go down on the mother, and that no one wanted to “eat the big black hole”, cause you know apparently she didn’t keep her bits to clean, if you know what I mean, and the smell wasn’t too pleasent. None of them seemed to have a problem fucking her tho, which never made any sense to me, but there you have it. Anyways, somehow it got out that this dirtbag who hung around us name Paul had, in fact, done just that. The gossip spread like wild fire, and before you could say Vagisil, everyone was ragging home about it. The climax came when someone spraypainted PAUL ATE THE BIG BLACK HOLE on the side of our gymnasium. I think he moved shortly after that.
Here’s some pics of Cindy Crawford. I bet her Vagina smells like flowers.
The main reason Cindy Crawford is a washed up supermodel is cuz she’s old and had too many babies. Preganancy is the worst STD, yes, worse than AIDS, don’t you watch the news, they have this AIDs cocktail that makes it so you don’t even have the disease. It’s like the cool-kids disease where pregnancy is for the losers in your highschool, the fat bitches no one spoke to, and babies destroy most lives and bodies they pass through. That’s why abortion is the best contraception and condoms are for pussies. But don’t take my word for it, try it out yourself and see how you like it. I am a big believer in “giving up”. When one aspect of your life falls apart, so does everything else, shit’s got a domino effect. The only thing that used to go up Crawford’s nose 10 years ago was high grade cocaine. Now that she’s a washed up mom she stuffs her fingers up there, in public. It’s all about having a little discretion you trashy cunt.
