I admit, I used to watch My So Called Life, not because every depressive teenage girl who was intense and into grunge related to this bitch and I wanted to find some common ground with them to work my way into them, but because I anxiously sat by my computer hoping this bitch offed herself. It never happened.

Since then, I have been about as attracted to Cliare Danes and I have been to my wife, for obviously different reasons, one being the fact that my wife is just vile to look at, while Claire Danes just reminds me of her annoying character on her show. The one thing she does have going for her is that she’s not fat, like the eating disorder girls that once looked at her as some kind of dark misunderstood god and that should be celebrated in this fat world that we live in. So this is me doing my part to make fat chicks stop eating and to remind skinny chicks that they just aren’t skinny enough.

Last I checked, My So Called Life was canceled over a decade ago. I know all the grunge kids related to this intense bitch and all her drama and flannel because no one knew what cutting was in the 90s. Her fan base should be grown up by now and over it, you know working and taking care of their kids and shit. But I guess this is a Megan Fox dating the dude from 90210 situation, because it looks like someone is asking Claire Danes for an autograph like she matters. I guess people are just into celebrities and her being asked for an autograph is the same reason dudes like Dane Cook or Jamie Kennedy or any motherfucker who’s been on TV at least once fuck groupie bitches when they roll through your hometown, even though dudes like that aren’t relevant enough to have groupies, because local girls think it’s a status symbol because they are idiots.

I can only assume that she’s either got some dude on payroll who pretends to be a fan to make her feel famous, or maybe she’s signing it for some blind kid, because anyone who have eyes that work will notice that bitch is so fucking busted that she reminds me of my childhood Christmas when all I’d get was broken toys and she has some green fucking teeth like she’s been sucking off the Grinch or maybe just not brushing because she’s too busy not having a career anymore.

Claire Danes is about as boring as it gets for celebrities and and to me, so is her nipple. Granted she’s an alright looking gal, but when it comes down to it, she is just not interesting, and neither are her movies. I though she was gone for good, cause she disappeared for awhile, but I guess she has a new movie out for something, because I see her everywhere, trying to get us all to like her again.

There’s a girl like Claire Danes in every highschool. People like her and say they say hi to her etc. No one has anything against her, she just is not fun all. No one invites her to parties either, because while the rest of the girls are getting naked in the pool and making out with each other, Claire just sits in the corning and talks to a few people quietly and leave after she feels awkward.

So here’s Claire Danes and her boring nipple. If her nipple could talk I bet it would be on a fun celebrities tit and not Claires. That nipple has something to prove. It’s trying to break free, I’m telling you. Which celebrity nipple would YOU like you like to be for a day?