George Clooney is dating some Italian pussy, because clearly she puts out, since it is good for her career, but unfortunately she’s not quite enough of a whore for me, because she was rockin’ a pair of panties under her see thru dress, making me think if she really wanted to make it, she’d step her shit up a notch, but then I remembered George Clooney owns her, so she’d be pretty set if she stayed clothed and that she’s just doing this see thru shit gratuitously for us to want to fuck her and for that she deserves a fucking Oscar, but first she needs Hollywood to give her some fuckin’ work.

Get on it fuckers.

Pics via Bauer and
Pics via Fame

The paparazzi are excited that they get to dig into their crates and pull out pictures they never thought would be worth anything, but as paparazzi have no choice but to hope and pray that they will, because pictures of semi-famous cunts in bikinis can go either way, you know maybe the girl will just fade into obscurity or maybe she’ll date Hollywood’s most eligible bachelor, who probably owns 25% of her, and that’s why he allows this all to go down, and I’m not talking about the 25% of her that is in her bikini bottoms, I’m talking 25% of whatever she makes in Hollywood, it’s gotta be a business arrangement or she’s gotta take it up the ass a lot, because based on her face it just doesn’t make sense…even if he is old dick and his standards have dipped….

So these pictures are of her in Miami, before Clooney, when she was just some slag on the beach the paparazzi shot when they were waiting for real celebs, and her body is fuckin’ alright by me….

Here is George Clooney’s new Italian girlfriend, she was born in 1978 so I guess that makes her too old for me to wanna fuck, but too young for Clooney to date without looking like some kind of pervert who only fucks young hot pussy. At first I thought that she was some local girl who he met in a cafe eating pasta or whatever the fuck they do in Italy, who won her a Clooney and calls all her friends to brag about how she is the vagina to some big American star, but it turns out she’s some actor and model and TV host who is obviously trying to make it in the USA and the best way to get seen is to date a famous person, especially one everyone keeps tabs on who he is stickin his dick inside and since Hollywood is all about money and business deals, I’m sure Clooney owns the rights to her and is gettin’ paid out of this.

Either way here’s a retrospective (ha) of some of her work….

I have done some posts on her in the past, I knew I recognized the whore’s name because it rhymes with anus…and here they are if you are interested….think of it as a retrospective of my work…on this no name Italian….

Here’s some skinny model named Elisabetta Canalis in a bikini and she reminds me of this time I worked at a stable shoveling shit out of the horses stalls, not because she looks like shit, but because she looks like a horse, sure she’s got a skinny body and you’d probably fuck her, but that face is a little too reminiscent of the night all the stable boys got drunk and decided to take turns fuckin’ it. It wasn’t a proud moment, but either is this for Elisabetta Canalis or her husband.

My friend just broke up with his girlfriend so I’m supposed to go out for a beer with him this afternoon. It was one of those situations where no matter what he did nothing was good enough for her. He would take this bitch shopping at Burberry and Gucci and all those other overpriced bullshit stores and then they would get home and she would tell him what a useless motherfucker he was etc. I fucking hated her anyways so I’m kind like whatever.

He was also a drug dealer for a long time, and made as much money in 1 month as you probably so in 6, but stopped because she was all like “I love you and I don’t want you to go to jail.” etc. Then when the money stopped rolling in and he couldn’t take her ass out for $400 dinner and wine anymore, it turned into “You are a useless piece of shit.” etc.

I always thought she was a stupid ugly bitch with no fucking brain anyways so I’m pretty happy to be honest cause this means I don’t even have to speak to her again, and I can ignore her when I see her from now on.

He was fucking so many other girls while he was with her, that I think this whole “I’m going to miss her thing” is such bullshit. I don’t think he’s going to miss her, I think he’s going to miss fucking her in the ass and fisting her while taking pictures. Pictures which, by the way, I suggested he make copies of and post around her hood for revenge, that’s another story tho.

Here’s Elisabetta Canalis. When I first saw these pics, I thought they were nip slips, but upon closer inspection realized I was wrong. I figured I would post them anyways, since I know you are a virgin and this is probably the closest thing you will get to see to a tit this week, except for when you’re spying on your sister when she showers.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez