Just because they get naked to shower off their kids’ puke and to have their weekly scheduled sex with their husbands and not to grace the covers of highend fashion magazines, doesn’t mean we have to give up on these sluts we all grew up jerking off to. They were the first wave of supermodels in my life.

I remember 1989 jerking off to Elle Macpherson in Sports Illustrated swimsuit. I remember jerking off to Cindy Crawford when she did Playboy in 1988 and I remember just thinking Claudia Schiffer was hot back before the David Copperfield days.

They probably weren’t innovators, their work probably insignificant, no better than being the bitch on a game show turning letters, or the bitches who work at conventions or conferences promoting products, but they probably think their impact was significant, because otherwise they’d just go out and kill themselves, but instead they are here showing off that genetics played a huge part in getting where they got, since they look fucking amazing and even 20 years later I’d jerk off to them if my dick had the same fate as their looks and didn’t break along the way.

Cindy Crawford and Her Mom Legs

Elle Macpherson Slutty Mom Legs in a Leather Skirt

BONUS – Possible Claudia Schiffer See Thru Dress Pics

Pics via INF
Pics via Fame
Pics via Bauer

When I was in elementary school, the only pussy I remember was one of the girls in my class asking me to watch her pee in the woods behind the school, and then there was lookin onto the stripclub beside the school that eventually burnt down, but before it did, we’d spend our lunch hours watching the strippers on smoke breaks in the parking lot, then there was the mother of one of the kids who was a total fucking whore, who doubled as our lunch monitor and wore all tight denim and leather in fuck me boots, with ridiculous bleached hair extensions before the world even knew what hair extensions were, and there was that one teacher who took an interest in the less fortunate male kids who taught us about sex using his ass as the vagina, but that’s not really where I wanted to go with this story, I wanted to say that no kid had a mom who looked like Elle Macpherson in these pics come pick them up, and if they did, I would have befriended them, provided they didn’t mind having a weird immigrant who spoke broken english as a friend, so that I could sneak in the mom’s room and play with her panties, I mean when I wasn’t getting molested by my teacher.

Pics via Bauer

Elle Macpherson got a job on some Ashton Kutcher bullshit show about models because she used to be a model and I guess it was a natural fit, but not quite as natural as the unprotected sex she had to get from her tribal village in Tazmania into the the big modeling world back in the 80s, not that that happened, but I like to imagine all women with bone through their noses and one down their throat, if you know what I mean, which I hope you do, cuz I don’t have any idea what I mean, I am just distracted by my love for Elle Macpherson even as her beauty slowly ripens into a sloppy mess, it’s like we’ve got history or some shit, thanks to my jerking off to her for the first time back in ’88, that was 20 years ago, and I could still get off to her, and not many pussies have that kind of longevity.

Elle Macpherson, like the expired milk in my fridge, is no longer in her prime. She doesn’t look or taste her best but when it really comes down to it, I’d still put her on my ceral and ignore them clumpy sour lumps, because you can’t eat cereal dry. If you know what I mean, which you probably don’t because this post is on some next level “written in code” shit, or at least it seems like it is, when in reality, I’m just an idiot, an idiot who still has a love for Elle Macpherson and if I am still alive when bitch is being pushed in a wheel chair and shitting herself at the old folks home, will still have a love for Elle Macpherson because she single handedly introduced me to SI Swimsuit Edition with her nipples in a time before porn and that kind of shit doesn’t get forgotten….

Elle Macpherson’s nipple is hard which is a real coincidence because so is my clit of a dick which I pitch to girls as less work than a real dick and that usually gets me me a laugh, sure it’s not an orgasm, making all this pineapple I’ve been eating pretty much obsolete, but I guess a laugh is better than escorted out of the club.

There’s nothing I like more about summer than watching girls ride their bikes. I love seeing their spandex shorts covering their tight little biker asses if they are ambitious bikers. I love seeing their little hipster panties and bush if they’re more of the granola pussy that wears their flora skirts while riding to the organic food store. I love smelling the seats when they lock their shit up next to me and I love the smile on their faces, knowing that with each pedal comes pleasure for these whores….So seeing pictures of my original supermodel masturbation partner back in 88 on a bike is a little piece of heaven for me and that’s why I am sharing it with you….while she sells her soul for money by taking this weird job promoting the environment…

Elle Macpherson’s nipples are hard. That’s the story. Not much more to say about it. I could talk about jerkin’ off to her in 1989, but why bother, I’m trying to move on here, you know focus on the younger pussy, the fresher pussy, the pussy that isn’t mom pussy, or retired pussy, or my wife’s greasy pussy, so that’s all I want to say about that.

Here are some pictures of Elle Macpherson sucking a straw in a pair of shorts, that’s really the only reason I posted these pictures and is actually the same reason I go to the ice cream shop down the street. I could spend days just staring at hot moms and teenage girls licking a cone or sucking their milkshakes back only to play it back the memories in slow motion when I get home and my wife forces me to go down on her, which happens more than I’d like, probably because we don’t own a TV. That said, I think I better get a job to make the pain end…

I uploaded a ton of Elle Macpherson pics last week, I have no idea why, but I do know that I didn’t post them. I guess I was giving a little love back to the girl who introduced the SI Swimsuit edition to my masturbation, not that I get down like that anymore, but it was the 80s and porn access was limited, espectially when you live with psycho Christians who would strip search you everytime you came home, because they thought you were up to no good, and molesters for the sake of Jesus, not that it matters, I don’t need to air out my dirty laundry with you, even though I have a lot of it, but that’s just because my wife is a lazy cunt who doesn’t know how to be a fucking wife, but she does know how to eat a hot dog and not in the good kind of way, but in the obese all you can eat buffet kind of way.

HERE SHE IS RIDING A BIKE…..

BONUS – SOME PICTURES OF HER IN A SEE THROUGH DRESS THAT ISN”T SEE THROUGH AT ALL

Here’s that 1989 SI Shoot – I Fell in Love With…In Hindsight, She’s Got Shoulders Only a Gay Guy Could Love….But I was an immigrant, had lower standards, was hornier and 19.

Elle Macpherson is one of the first supermodels I can remember jerking off to in the 80s, like really diggin and jerkin’ off to because I am sure there were many before her, but they remain nameless and she’s the one that stands out in my tattered brain.

Here she is on vacation with her kids and based on the waterskiing, it looks like she’s holding onto the past, because last time I checked, no one fucking waterskis anymore, it’s a thing of the past, dated like neon sun protecting cream, an ancient art and passtime, which is appropriate, because so is Elle Macpherson’s vagina. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh…..good one.

Sure these aren’t pictures of Elle Macpherson and Claudia Schiffer actually making out with each other, but they should be, despite Katy Perry ruining my interest in girl on girl action so that every time I see any girl on girl action her Kissed a Girl garbage plays on repeat in my head, because I’d still be down to see it, since I grew up on these girls and 10 years too late is better than never…

I don’t know where these pictures were taken, but it seems like these ladies are doing everyday mom stuff, so I can only assume it’s some private island they drop ex models off at, you know so the public doesn’t get a tarnished vision of the perfection they once had, you know as they age and rot away into disgusting, it’s pretty much the same logic as to why you don’t want an open casket at your funeral, but I think that’s just overkill, let these whores into the general public, they’ve already had it too fuckin’ easy, let us use the private islands for for homeless people and people with Aids and homosexuals, you know to clean up our streets and make the world a better place.

Here are those pics.

Elle Macpherson is like an old friend to me. One I haven’t spoken to in a long time, but who’s pictures I like to revisit every chance I get. I could say I’ve done coke off her tits while vactioning on a yacht, during a break from plunging my dick in her plump meaty australian pussy, like a plumber trying to unclog a toilet that my wife has assaulted it in some kind of shitting fight to the death that the toilet sadly lost, but I don’t like bragging, especially when it is of romance novel style masturbation fantasies because those are meant for girls, but here are some pictures of Elle showing off that body I wanted in 1988 and after 20 years of failure on my part later, she still keeping up her end of the deal, on a side note, in 3 days, we’ll have to make that 21 years of failure on my part. Either way, here are the pics.

Elle Macpherson is the kind of model I like. Sure, she’s big and tall but that body is thin and long legged and she looks tight, despite being old and washed up. Sure I have a warm place in my heart since the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition 1988 VHS tape was the best thing my perverted roommate who left behind because I got to see her tits in it and I’d try not to remember my perverted roommate who once got the police showing up at our place when we lived together because he was watching bondage porn and the neighbor thought someone was getting raped, when the only thing he was raping was himself, usually in the middle of the evening when he’d run off to the bathroom to take a shit and come out an hour later, something I never really understood, because sitting over a festering shit, never got me hard, even if it was the only alone time I got in a day….but that doesn’t matter, what does matter is that Elle Macpherson is so hot, she probably looks good taking a shit, which is something I’ve never experienced, mainly because the only time I’ve ever admitted that girls take shits is when I first got married a bunch of years ago and was given the job of helping my wife get off the toilet when she got stuck and if was lucky, I’d get to wipe her messy shit off her ass, all while contemplating suicide until doing a google image search for Elle Macpherson, to remember that not all girls make me sick.

Here is Elle Macpherson is some see-through dress recently.

Here are some pictures of Elle Macpherson from the other day showin’ a little bra because she’s still got it going on for an old lady.

She is the woman who first introduced me to Australian Bikini models during a 1988 cover of SI and I still think she’s probably a better fuck now than she was then. Not only has Elle probably had more loads in her than either of them, but she’s also in her pre-menopausal prime that makes her want to bounce on as many dicks as she can before her vagina dries up and stops working. KInda like how my wife gets when see sees the staff at the Chinese Buffet closing up….

I am obviously not very good at marketing, I have a shitty website no one reads and I can’t even get the 2 girls who read my site to get naked for me, but I do know one thing and that is that if Elle Macpherson is promoting her lingerie line, she’d be better off doing it in lingerie and not fully fuckin’ clothed. The only thing she is showing off is the one thing she probably should be keeping locked up, because her fuckin’ feet are big and scare me.

I know that some of you are into this whole foot fetish shit, and that for some reason that fetish has become accepted even if it’s fuckin’ weird, but like most supermodels, bitch is tall, and when a bitch is tall, she usually has big fuckin’ feet to help her balance her 6 foot tall frame, and as much as I love models, I hate girls with big feet.

But this isn’t about me, it’s about Elle Macpherson being a boring old lady when she’s still got it going on and could have made all of our day a better one, but instead decides to cock tease us by not getting naked even after we’ve all seen her naked. It’s like hanging out with a girl you’ve bagged in hopes of recycling that shit cuz it’s good for the environment, and by environment I mean balls, but she won’t give it up because girls control the vagina and think you’re gross but like you’re company. Maybe next time you get with them, you can carry their bags for them and compare stories about when you got you first period, because bitch just amputated your vagina and turned you into a bitch.