If a useless cunt no one remembers has a 25th birthday, does it make a sound?

25 or not, bitch might as well be dead.

She doesn’t matter.

Here’s her botched plastic surgery.

I guess it only makes sense that Heidi Montag would be hosting events at Vegas on a slow day, I mean where else is there to go when you’re a reality star everyone hates, cuz you pretty much represent all that is wrong with the fucking world….oh right Playboy….

I guess that’s why bitch co-hosted a pool party with Hef’s Crystal Harris bitch he recently fired, cuz either she wants to be the next in line as Hef’s fake wife, it’s one of the best jobs for fake tit, fake tan, fake hair whores in the world….way better than stripping locally…

I mean unless she’s just using this as a publicity stunt to get noticed…which would make sense, as all reality TV idiots are addicted to their 5 minutes and any chance to be talked about is good enough to them…

But I think it’s safe to say her next stop with her DDs is playboy….I mean that’s pretty much the look she’s got going and there’s pretty much no where else to go….I mean other than being irrelevant in Vegas….but that will end soon….and her getting naked will commence….and I’ll be watching unless of course I Ryan Dunn myself.

This hit magazine stands yesterday, so I can only assume this has done the rounds of the internet, but I figured for those of you who can’t get enough plastic surgery scars on useless, insecure, bottom feeding bitches you probably won’t remember in 2 years, despite her efforts to be remembered, cuz she doesn’t realize just how bullshit she is, you’d appreciate seeing Heidi Montag whine about surgery she did to herself in efforts to be seen as something worth looking at…when she really just ended up looking like a fucking clown….

This is from Life & Style, if you want to jerk off on her, you’ll have to buy the magazine…..cuz there’s just something magical about old school sticking pages together….Internet has tried to ruin that…but I’m hoping you won’t let it….

Heidi Montag has clearly worked out a deal with this paparazzi company to release staged pictures of her, so that everyone makes money off bullshit….

The paparazzi agency is called “Pacific Coast News”. They used to give me images for free, cuz they were nice and understood I was broke, but eventually turned into typical paparazzi scum and tried to exploit me for stupid money I don’t have to post their staged bullshit pictures of idiots….

For some reason, people give a fuck about these cunts…so here are Heidi and Spencer milking their low level of fame, flashing a little bikini bottom covered cunt, in this staged set of pictures….

The world has evolved from getting excited about seeing a bitch in a bikini and having that being enough to really secure their place in the industry….and for that reason I think these assholes should step it up by releasing their murder suicide videos, or at least some sex tapes, cuz plastic pussy or not, I’d still like to see her get fucked…but the again, I am down to watch anyone fuck.

Heidi Montag is a waste of fucking space. I know the handful of people who can’t let go like to watch her bullshit purchased tits in various states of falling out of her bikini, but really we’d want to see any girl tit falling out of a bikini, hell, I’ve even been at the public pool staring at a 90 year old aquarobic class hoping one of their big vagina lips or big deflated tit would make it’s way out of the bathing suit, because that’s just what perverts do….but there’s just so much annoying about this bitch, that big bullshit purchased tits aren’t enough for me to ignore that I can’t stand her or anything she does because her bottom feeding isn’t crafty, interesting, fun or even clever, it’s obvious, mainstream and borderline retarded….and for some reason the people sitting at their offices surfing the net cuz they hate their lives love to eat it up…like they care if these idiots are married, divorced, pregnant, in a sex tape we haven’t seen clips of or not…it’s a real life Soap Opera only far less interesting….

I feel like I may have missed this picture of useless bottom feeding trash pulling out her fake tit she got for attention while in staged bikini pictures she is taking for attention…because her sex tape rumor needs to be kept alive since it has people who want to see how bad her plastic face fucks…..from yesterday’s Heidi Montag Fake Tits in a Bikini Post

I find the whole thing tedious, boring, repetitive, obnoxious…but I have my fingers crossed that this story ends in murder suicide…something we can all collective jerk off to in excitement…

Heidi Montag is not hot. I don’t care what anyone says, or how many times they call me gay for saying that there’s really nothing special to her. She’s got a shitty looking face, she’s got a decent at best body, and the only good thing about her are a couple tits she bought and anyone with 10,000 dollars could have. Not to mention, her low level attempts to get media attention, her fake husband and possibly fake sex tape that I am sure will be a real sex tape soon enough, because let’s face it, seeing her fuck post surgery, is hardly like seeing her fuck at all, cuz Hollywood ate her up, spat her out, and turned her into a monster that is barely human…and definitely not who she was before….and I think people need to really just flick the off switch on her…cuz she will go away and all her annoying cries for attention ignored….will make the world a better place…

Here she is in some staged bullshit bikini grabbing her tits…cuz that’s all she has going for her…and even that is hardly interesting…but at least she’s a pussy in a bikini…cuz that’s good enough for me.

Heidi Montag does whatever it takes to stay in the media, I guess she figures she’s put all this work into committing to being a trashcan of a person, focusing on nothing more than getting people to notice her, all while sacrificing any self-respect she might have….

That is why she pretended to get divorced to someone I think she pretended to marry. That is why they are now reporting she has a sex tape with some other useless attention whore. That is why she had the plastic surgery. That is why she is pretending to get the plastic surgery reversed. That is why she uses twitter to talk about massaging her implants. That is why she is in these staged bikini pics…

The real unfortunate thing in all this is that I don’t find her hot, or interesting, or even human, she is so low grade they wouldn’t feed her to orphans or homeless people if she was beef, but I guess pussy in a bikini is pussy in a bikini…even if it is the representation of all that is wrong in this world…

I do know that she’s gone this far, so the sex tape is probably real, and when it drops, I’ll be sure to climb on that like it was my wife busting my balls to fuck her….very cautiously….

The real depressing thing in all this is that she’s in Costa Rica and not Mexico, where she could have been confused for a drug lord’s slut wife, or a drug mule, resulting in her death…..but I guess we’re stuck dealing with her stunts a little longer…..

Like the bottom feeding trash that this bitch is, she is trying to get Megan Fox’s job in transformers by posting a shooting gallery training session with a cop on her twitter directed @michael_bay, like the time I tried to get sex with Lohan by writing @lindsaylohan “Let’s have sex”….it’s laughable, it’s a joke, she’s a joke that is hopefully coming to a fucking end…because she can’t go on forever and suicide or a botched plastic surgery is inevitable, but there’s always something guys find hot about bitches with guns, no matter how low level and useless they are….so here are some pics of her with guns, that aren’t that recent, but are doing the rounds, cuz people find this twitter hustle a fucking joke and we all like watching bitches with egos fall…lets just hope we are hear about a gun accident in their mansion in the near future….murder suicide can be a beautiful thing when it involves these twats.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Here are some pictures of Heidi Montag feeding her new tits ice cream. It’s obviously a publcity stunt because she knows that pictures of her emotionally eating two servings of ice cream while showing off her new stupid tits are enough to get the paparazzi excited, and apparently, it’s enough to get you excited, cuz it’s far more entertaining than standing outside your ice cream shop staring at the fat mom’s and white trash stuffing their gutter faces….that’s not to say Heidi isn’t trash, it’s to say tits are hotter than the tattooed up sloppy shit with their gutter kids that I am going to spend my afternoon staring at….cuz licking ice cream is a fetish, except when the licking is done by an old queeny fag on the boardwalk I saw yesterday who I am pretty sure thought he was sucking a young vibrant cock while rocking a boner in his short shorts leaving everyone around him feeling pretty fucking uncomfortable….it is hot outside and there is no reason for me to be inside…especially since I hate my wife’s heavy breathing and the smell of this but I also hate giving Heidi Montag any fucking attention…Good thing no one reads this site…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

I don’t know why this cunt has Promo Pics. I guess it’s for her fantasy music career. When really her only celebrity is her trying to be a fucking celebrity. The good news is that Hollywood destroyed her small town Colorodo soul, and turned her into a fucking insecure, attention seeking, robot….and the better news is that the bitch is going to not be remembered in 5 years from now. Now, I’m not sure I’ll be alive in 5 years to see it, but at least I can die happy knowing that she’s fucking done…

Here are her new tits, new face, new everything trying pretty fucking hard and failing….cuz failure is porn to me…and fake tits are porn to you…because you’re a fucking loser.

Heidi Montag bought herself some tits and it amazes me how much people care. I know bitches with fake tits and it’s really not all that impressive. I’ve not rich and never have been, in fact I am fucking ghetto but figure I could get a minimum wage job and pay off a set of tits for my wife after 6 months to a year, so it’s not like this Montag bitch did anything impressive, she did something typical of girls with low self esteem who think tits make you relevant, when really pornstars get paid more if they have natural tits, because the world doesn’t really find the shit that crazy anymore, we’ve grown from the 90s, so I can only hope the buzz she is getting fades fucking fast, so that she ends up broke trash with nothing to show for her few years of manipulating the people who knew she existed from The Hills, than her tits, cuz that would only be fair for all the bullshit she’s spewed and all the successes she’s had, when really she’s nothing but a talentless trashcan of a person.

I figure some of you like fake tits, even though real tits are so much hotter, so I’ll post this shit, but I just want to make it clear that I find this bitch a fucking joke and her tits as useless and pathetic as her….not that you care what I think…but don’t worry the feeling is mutual, cocksucker….

I feel like a clown in the Heidi Montag circus everytime I acknowledge she exists. She is a fucking idiot and the only thing her existance proves is how giving a young girl with low self esteem a reality TV show that blows up is a bad idea and ruins people. I guess she also proves that you can buy yourself a set of stupid tits and other procedures to make you look more like an 1990s Playboy bombshell Poison groupie, but I’ve been seeing bitches pull that shit for decades and it is alway uninteresting, uninspired and boring….

The only funny thing about all this is that she’s 90 percent of the way to a solid porn career, I’m just not sure how she’ll spin it to her fake Christian faith she always pulls, but I guess at that point she’ll just be so desperate for attention and probably addicted to meds in desperate need for money that she’ll probably forget that lie she once pulled when she thought people gave a fuck about her….but I’m pretty sure no one ever did…

She’s a pig of a human…and here are her stupid fake tits and her “scooped back” to make her look like she’s got ass and the whole thing is pretty much everything wrong in our society.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

I still don’t really understand why Heidi Montag would jack her tits up like this. I thought that whole stupid fake tits, fake hair, Pamela Anderson vibe was dead…. and girls realized that to be the hottest thing in Hollywood you had to be a little more creative than all the white trash blonde every stripclub has at least 3 of…..but I guess that would be giving her too much credit….because this is Heidi Montag and she is fucking useless and now that the Hills are over, so is she….but probably doesn’t want to be so it may be an interesting nose dive into desperation to get noticed that will probably involve her getting fucked by black dudes that she’ll claim she did for Jesus or some other lie she’s been spewing because she is the fucking devil…only time will tell…

I am going to admit that Heidi Montag looks substantially better than she used to look, but seriously, that’s not saying much because her horse face and shitty ass wasn’t much to jerk off to, although, I’m sure at least one of you did jerk off to it. You sick fucks…

I guess she just proves to little girls everywhere and their parents who fear they will grow up to be ugly, that all it takes is a little money to sort yourself out.

Sure, part of me hates this attention whore and her bullshit in everything she does for attention, whether it’s being a virgin, being a christian or hiring a psychic manager, but the rest of me doesn’t give a fuck or really let Heidi Montag come into my daily thoughts….

So here is her pig attitude with her pig face sweating like a pig….lookin’ better than ever as her career that isn’t even a career slowly fades into a stripper pole back in her hometown…It’s nice to watch Hollywood suck people in, chew them up and spit them out. I’m ready for this one.

Pics via PacificCoastNews