Jenna Jameson was arrested for a DUI last night, like any responsible mother would….she drove into a light pole…and I think she was just doing it for attention….cuz she’s amazing like that…
The truth is she has a lot of crackhead personality traits and I know this because she follows me on twitter, humors me when I ask her on dates, and bitch needs to be crazy to do that….but at the same time….is a friend to me…and someone I would love to marry with my tongue just to say I did….
I mean I’d let her drunk drive me into anything she wants to…I love her.
I feel kinda weird posting these pictures of Jenna Jameson in the pool in a bikini…not because I think I am invading her privacy and not because she’s a classy, elegant, regal woman who is lives on the principles of Emily Post’s book on etiquette….She’s not high society, but she’s probably graced the cover of high society…a porn slut…older, retired and a mom, just enjoying a lifestyle the money her vagina’s dignity was sacrificed to afford….so if anything…I should only be really giving her any press if she was seen getting fucked on the street corner by a homeless man, or something outrageous…cuz even a “leaked sex tape” doesn’t fly with her….you know cuz we’ve all seen her fuck and fuck some more…but then the whole fact she’s in a bikini kinda makes me have no choice but to post it…but I want to make it clear…I am hardly excited by this white trash couple living a better life than me…except maybe when she gets beat up…but that’s only cuz porn chicks love being abused…it reminds them of their childhood…
Here they are practicing their synchronized swimming for the next trailer park olympics they are participating in…
This is nothing to be excited about. I mean she’s a porn chick, or at least has a porn past that spans many videos that you can likely google and see her in all her glory…during her glory days…and half naked, not fucking, in a bikini looking like a bit of a zombie….
This is nothing to be impressed by, I mean unless you find it impressive that she’s got a vagina still, big and meaty and being hugged by her bikini, but a vagina nevertheless…..I mean after all the abuse she’s put it through….from childbirth to huge cock day after day….you’d expect it to be worn down and no longer much more than a mutated growth….or if you’re impressed by a damaged girl who hasn’t killed herself yet…despite how hard you would have killed yourself if you were in her position…or as much you expected her to…you know cuz she spent a few years looking like a zombie with a serious meth addiction….medicating her unhappiness…
But Jenna Jameson’s my friend, at least on Twitter, and that to me is enough reason to celebrate her amazingness…like I celebrated pictures she posted of her dead mom a few weeks ago that I masturbated to…told her about and got an LOL out of her over…
Not that it matters, here are the pics of her and her husband…who I assume isn’t the kind of guy who gets uptight about his wife’s sexually history, you know cuz he can just watch it….but then again, maybe that’s why he beats her.
It is hard to get excited over a bitch who I have seen get fucked more than I’ve seen my own wife fuck, but for some reason seeing Jenna Jameson whore boot shopping with her best friend and business partner, her droopy mom vagina that was droopy before being a mom to twins that the fertility drugs made…thanks to being one of the most successful porn stars which is code for the girl who has been paid a lot only cuz she fucked a lot on camera…it’s not like bitch was making 1,000,000 dollars a scene or anything…she was just doing a lot of fucking scenes…and with a lot of fucking scenes…comes one tired vagina….making me thing maybe these leather boots are more about holding up her pussy lip she’s got tucked into them so it doesn’t drag…but still keeping me staring…possibly cuz we are best friends on Twitter, even though she never writes me back….as to you DON’T FOLLOW ME
Jenna Jameson…You’re better than being seen with this trash…I mean this has got to be rock fucking bottom…forced to take a picture with perpetual reality star from the early 2000s…who has since turned to posting nude pics on twitter to get noticed Adrienne Curry….I mean shit…getting cum on by HIV Positive dudes in the early days of your porn…hooking to really awkward and creepy fans at the AVNs who liked being shit on…getting raped by your dad and brother at the same time everyday at school….were all higher pointed than this…
Jenna Jameson hit up the pumpkin patch because it’s the place you go if you don’t have a good PR person and you are in the mood to get a picture of you taken by the paparazzi…Unless of course this is the only fucking place in LA that you can get a pumpkin, like these assholes have the monopoly on it or something, and I’m just a little disappointed that she’d kill the excitement of what she’s going as this year by wearing her Zombie costume out early…not to mention Zombie’s are so fucking played out this year….oh wait…That’s just how she looks…my bad…I am also disappointed that she’s fuckin’ with such small pumpkins, you know based on what she did to her tits, and I guess what she did to her pussy, you’d think she was a go big or go home kind of slut…and really that’s no way to talk about my Twitter Girlfriend , but she neglects me lately, so fuck her…if you’re into takin’ risks…Get it? Cuz she’s a pornstar who would seemingly have a very polluted cunt….
Jenna Jameson was at the Jackass 3D premiere in tight clothes…for those of you who are interested in knowing what a woman who used to fuck countless men and take countless loads on her face in exchange for money some wouldn’t consider quite enough to make them do what she did on camera, despite the fact that if she didn’t do what she did, she probably would be working as a truckstop checkout girl or strungout on drugs as a whore no one wants to fuck cuz she’s too old and used up…
But that’s not way to talk about my TWITTER girlfriend….we all fuck…some of us even fuck a lot of people…some of us pay for it…some of us do it to advance our careers or living situations…some of us do it on camera…some of us do it as a career…and who really cares…cuz I’d still eat her out but then again we’re in internet love….and based on these pants at least she knows where she stands in life.
The highlight of my TWITTER experience was not the time I was one of 8 people blocked by Ashton Kutcher , or the period of time that Lindsay Lohan followed me before her evil group of evil friends told her not to, or the fact that every single celebrity who probably doesn’t even write their own twitter, but who instead use it as a money-making tool has blocked me, except for the Kim Kardashian pig….but that’s cuz we have an understanding…and she likes everyone, even insignificant people knowing what she’s up to…
The highlight of my TWITTER experience was when Jenna Jameson used to message me, despite the hundreds of men she’s fucked who she could reach out to, back before her husband beat her up and called her a meth addict…cuz she looks like she could be one…
Here she is not showing off her vagina…even though that’s kinda what we’d like from her…because that’s kinda her gig…even if she has a beautiful soul behind all that stale cum stained skin….but her father just died and in a pornstar world….father’s a myth…so it’s a pretty big deal.
Jenna Jameson was in a bikini, which may not be a big deal, because you can google her and see her pussy doing the Tito Ortiz by choking out a cock like it was Jenna Jameson….cuz they have spousal abuse issues in their marriage, which really isn’t all that much of a surprise, you see cuz you put a porn star and a UFC fighter in a normal relationship, living out a normal life, like they are playing fucking house, you usuaully expect them to murder suicide.
The only shitty thing about the whole beating his wife shit that sucked for me was that I was in the process of pitching Jenna Jameson on a reality show where I live in her garage like I was ALF and I just kinda get in the way, run off my mouth and try to eat her cat every chance I get while everyone watching laughs and falls in love with our unconventional dynamic….
But now she doesn’t answer my emails….which is okay, cuz broken dreams are something I’m used to.
To See the Rest of the Pictures – Follow This Link GO
For those of you who jerk off to pornstars but don’t worry about what pornstars do in their personal life, you may not have heard that Tito Ortiz “Beat the Fuck” out of Jenna Jameson, even though I based on her pussy, the Fuck Beat the Hell out of her long before Tito entered the picture and made her cold, dead, rotten uterus some twins, with the help of fertility medication, because when you’re a whore, your reproductive organs beat to a different “i wish i used condoms now I have pre-cancerous HPV” drum….
That said, it was her way of getting picked up in the media, because she’s no longer doing the one thing she knew how to do to make money, and she’s probably pretty bored and tired from raising kids, when up until this point the only level of responsiblity she had to take for herself was to take load on her face instead of inside her…..
Now she’s “rekindled” with her man, her fake injury washed off in the shower, and the paparazzi were hired to take some pics of her dumpy mom body that you all jerked off to over the last decade, in a bikini, which isn’t that interesting, since googling her name will bring up archive videos of her life that involved things being inserted in her cunt. Good times.
Here are some pics of her playing “mother” because “mothers” don’t have prescription pill adictions or come from abusive homes…bullshit….at least she’s in a bikini reminding us all that she’s really let herself go and lost whatever her scummy ass once had. Enjoy.
Pornstars and UFC fighters are some of the classier people in society. They are the equivalent of poor white trash that managed to make a ton of money fighting and fucking, until finding each other and starting a family, and like all poor white trash families, daddy has to put mommy in her place every once in a while.
The story is they accused each other of cheating on each other, because when you’re a pornstar people assume you’re a slut and when you’re a UFC fighter people assume you fuck trashy chicks to compensate for the fact that rolling around in spandex panties with other dudes is how they make their living, and the whole thing is only sad because I wasn’t there living in her Garage like ALF in the reality show I pitched to her on Twitter a few weeks ago….cuz she’s my new internet girlfriend…and based on today…possibly the future mother to my new set of stepkids….GOODTIMES….
If you are wondering how girls who have taken an insane amount of loads on their faces age, it’s not really pleasant. But in defense of guys who like cumming on girl’s faces, the cumming on Jenna Jameson’s got nothing to do with her looking like a fucking monster. The psychological damage that lead her to getting guys to cum on her face for money on camera over the course of her career in porn is probably the reason she looks like a fucking monster. You know medicating with drugs, alcohol, plastic surgery, abusive relationships and all those good things that come with being a porn bitch….
I remember when Jenna Jameson was at the top of her fucking game. She was running a huge porn company, she was in a ton of movies and when people thought porn they thought of her. That entire fucking time, I did not get one fucking erection over her, and although that may not be a testament of how vile I find her pussy and tits, but more a testament of my hard drinking, my enlarged prostate and my ugly wife stealing my libido, I just never got the appeal or why she of all pornstars went mainstream and I guess it doesn’t matter because after her twins escaped her rancid woman parts, she hasn’t bounced back, looks like shit, and I will never have to see her fuck in video again and I guess that’s worth celebrating….
Here are some pictures of Jenna Jameson almost showing the world her polluted vagina that she polluted the world with when she had her Aids babies, the only interesting thing that came fromt he whole thing was that it was the first time in the history of baby making that the mother’s pussy didn’t feel anything or see any additional damage and rumor has it that both her twins came out at the same fuckin’ time.
The View is porn to me, but that’s just because I can’t help but wonder whether Whoopi Goldberg’s big dick smells Elizabeth’s Republican Good Suburban girl pussy, or if Elizabeth’s Republican Good Suburban girl pussy smells like Whoopi Goldberg’s balls. It’s these mysteries of life that leave me fat on the couch confused about whether to put a shirt on to eat my can of spaghetti or not.
Today The View got a little more pornographic when Jenna Jameson showed up and ran her mouth off about how her new piece of shit movie about Zombie Strippers has anti-Bush political undertones, about how she stopped eating because she was stressed and got skin cancer from her tanning bed, a divorce, sold her company and other retarded bullshit that lead her to anorexia like a crystal meth addiction but lucky for us she’s on the road to recovery and will take over the mainstream….like she was Pamela Anderson or some shit…so watch out….
I don’t want to ruin it for you but the big highlight of the interview was when she opened up about being raised without a mother and by a dad who wasn’t ever around leading her to a life of porn, something we could have never guessed considering it’s the same fucking story of every fucking slut in the world. She’s just smart enough to market herself properly and make money while trying to fill the void from her daddy issue, while other sluts just end up with STDs and abusive relationships….So if sluts with daddy issues are reading this, you should take Jameson’s lead…..
Here are some Pics of Jenna at the Zombie Stripper Premiere Lookin’ Like She’s in Character and Ready to Take Over the Mainstream, Just As Soon as She Comes Back from the Dead and Looks Less Like a Bitch Who’s been Taken Loads on her Face for Decades and More Like a 15 Year Old Virgin…..
