I guess this is as close to pornographic as Jennifer Love Hewitt gets, you know at the bank taking out money cuz that’s the only reason dudes fuck her, I mean that good life and memories of pussy he once jerked off to when she was the fat tits in all those teen movies in the 90s, you know before she became the emotional eating Ghost Whisperer fatness you see here…and I know what you bitches are thinking…cuz I’ve been doing this a long time and I get your hatemail…and that is that she’s not as fat as she was at her fattest….but she’s still fat and fat is fat….and I’m sure some of you are into this shit…and I’m hopin it’s more about seeing her take out money and less about her sloppy body….but that’s not because I care what you like, but because I care about this bitch knowing her self-worth….so there’s no distractions that leaves her standing in front of the mirror thinking she’s still got it.
Hey fat chicks…If you are ever in a situation where you need to have pictures taken of you, be sure to take a bunch of laxatives 2 days earlier, fast for 24 hours, get an industrial strength pair of SPANX, make sure to swell your tits as much as you fucking can, put on a cleavage dress, pose with a fatter chick, and if there are none around, stand like Jennifer Love is standing, cuz it’s some optical illusion, where one foot in from of the other takes her big thick legs and thins the shit out….and the whole thing isn’t as exciting as this would have been 10 years ago when she was the busty skinny chick from TV and not the busty fat chick from the all you can eat buffet where she’s been keeping busy cuz her TV show, which was probably the dumbest concept for a show finally got cancelled…and her boyfriends have all left her high maintenance ass….leaving her nothing else to do but eat…and show off her tits to distract us from that eating….
There is a study that fatter girls are hooked on buying shoes because it is the one thing on their body that doesn’t change sizes. It’s like if bitch is a size 7 in high school, she’s usually gonna be a size 7 in her 40s, even if her pantsize has gone from a size 0 to a “I wear elastic waistband pants I buy at the fat chick store cuz they don’t make shit in my size anymore”, like my wife. So they go shopping for shoes cuz other than eating buffets, it is the only way they feel good about themselves when shopping and here are some pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt showing off her shoes, the only thing she’s got left, you know now that she’s on her way back to obesity.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is playing with fire. She recently broke up with Jamie Kennedy Experiment and now she’s out getting fried chicken or whatever kind of chicken this chicken place serves cuz I know isn’t skinless chicken in a low fat salad chicken…She came so far in her happiness with Jamie Kennedy Experiment…he put her to work because I guess he was a fan and she shed the pounds and started looking more like her small-headed busty on a skinny frame self, but now they’ve split and she’s hit the fast food to eat her emotions…and shit’s a real tragedy. I really thought she had another run in her, another chance to get jerked off too, but I guess people are just gonna have to stick with the blue tank top in Can’t Hardly Wait, since it’s done.
On a sidenote, Jamie Kennedy was in Montreal for the comedy festival a few years ago and I know at least 4 girls who were his groupie and hooked up with him and I couldn’t really understand why, dude’s so second rate, but it turns out if a motherfucker is on TV that’s all it takes to get pussy…so if you’re smart, you’ll start going to auditions for TV commercials looking for useless, fat, virgins who smell like cum, cuz even that will be enough to get a girl wet, she just has to notice you. Remember that and remember I always give the good advice….
There was a time when Jennifer Love Hewitt was only good for having big tits on a small frame and that time ended when Jennifer Love Hewitt decided to emotionally eat her way thru life, leading her an inflated fucking whale of a girl who could only get on person hard and that person was the guy at the restaurant she was walking into cuz he knew it meant he’d make some fucking money that night…until the world turned on her, laughed at her and humilated her, in way that would have got us kicked out of school for being “bullies” but that brought some real-life perspective to her that forced her to get on the treadmill and work her ass off so that she would never be laughed at again, proving that bullying, another move by the government to make everyone seemingly nice, despite everyone genetically being cunts who love other people’s downfalls, is one of life’s needed mechanisms to help us all be better people….
It was Jennifer Love Hewitt’s birthday, she turned 31 and I guess no one gave a fuck, so she decided to dress up like an idiot to let the world know she’s celebrating and having the time of her life cuz it’s her day, or maybe it just took her 31 years to realize and accept the fact that she’s an overweight joke by dressing like the clown that she is, but really what the fuck do I know, other than that this costume in February is nothing but fucking stupidity, but the good news is that I never knew something so insignificant, like some bitch I don’t know who I never found hot, even though she was tiny with big tits, cuz I knew eventually her ass would catch up and balance out her horse face, could actually annoy me this much, but now I do…
What the fuck is this about? Vajazzling her Pussy? I’m assuming it was Jamie Kennedy’s way into her pants. You know he volunteered this genius idea to decorate her pussy with crystals before decorating it with semen or maybe this is just a joke. Either way, I don’t get this hippie bullshit but would like to see pictures of this hippie bullshit.
I guess reality has set in for Jennifer Love Hewitt after hitting the websites to see what everyone thinks about her new body and realizing that we’re not as impressed with it as she is. It’s called positive affirmation or some shit, where she has been working out, watching what she’s eating and the people around her have been biggin’ her up and boostin her ego making her think she’s accomplised some Star Jones caliber performance, not to mention her horny motherfucker boyfriend giving her constant sex after years of not getting any with her last fiance all clouded her judgement, but she’s straightened out and covered up her disgusting, and lucky for her boyfriend, I guess that means it’s back to fuckin’ with the lights off, so that he doesn’t have to see the sack of shit he’s stuffin’ his dick into…
In my life as a pervert, I don’t think I have ever seen a girl wearing a bikini while she plays tennis and I have definitely never seen a bitch wearing high heeled shoes while she plays tennis, and the only explanation I have for this is that this is the big reveal because she feels good about herself cuz her boyfriend’s been fuckin’ her proper and she isn’t as sloppy as she used to be so why not let the tabloids write about you, but she doesn’t feel quite good enough to wear running shoes, because they don’t make your legs look long and luxurious like heels do and the whole thing is a pretty desperate cry for attention, while her stomach is clearly making a desperate cry for an ab workout.
Jennifer Love proves my theory that the big titty girl from high school always grows up to be the fat assed girl at the office Christmas party ten years later….so she’s not the high school sweetheart you want to knock up or marry because that’ll just speed up the fuckin’ process, and I have no idea how all this happened to Jennifer Love, I can only blame depression or self-sabotaging because anyone who wants to a success in Hollywood has a responsibility to not get fat, no matter how tired they are of starving themselves, they have can’t let girls everywhere think it’s okay to let themselves go.
On the positive side of things, she’s lookin’ better than she did this time last year, and I like to think that has something to do with her new boyfriend, Jamie Kennedy, a man who once fucked a friend of mine.
He is subtley trying to trick her into burning some calories, like a good boyfriend who wants his bitch skinny, but still wants to get laid during the time it takes her to get there, he staged an innocent game of basketball, followed by a walk, swim, bike ride, sit ups and dinner at his favorite salad spot, which is more effective than my strategy to get my wife to lose weight by calling her worthless and a piece of shit while throwing baked goods at her forcing her to eat as much as possible it hopes she gets sick and never touches the shit again, which has proven to only make things fuckin’ worse…
There’s something really not magical about aging. If anything shit is pretty fucking depressing. There’s that whole closer to death bullshit, that gets me every birthday that comes and goes, but I’m more concerned about the death of someone’s sex appeak.
I know so many dudes who were in love with this bitch when she was comin’ up, they would talk about how she was the hottest pussy in Hollywood, they’d go on about her slammin’ tits, which would be interesting, if tits weren’t just a mechanism for closet case dudes to re-assure themselves by obsessing over tits that they aren’t gay, but there was always something about her that didn’t interest me and now that she’s older, sloppier and rugged, she’s really something about her that doesn’t interest me and I can pinpoint exactly what it is.
Here are the boring pics for those of you unable to move the fuck on.
When Love Hewitt was in her last relationship she let herself go. She’d go out in public in period stained sweat pants. She’d eat and eat and fucking eat until those very same period stained sweat pants didn’t fit anymore and she was pretty much disgusting to look at, but like any good break-up bitch got her shit together, and any new budding love affair, bitch started fuckin’ again, and now she’s out in boots and a mini skirt like some kind of whore, because I guess he is one in the bedroom for that dude from the movie Scream.
So to all the girlfriends who would refuse to fuck me, here’s your proof that fuckin’ a loser can do some good for you.
I spoke too soon. These pictures lead me to believe that shes not a lazy fucking pig, but an anorexic. Now that her marriage was cancelled, the world laughed at her fatness, she started dating that Kennedy asshole from that annoying show who fucked a girl I know when he was in Montreal, a girl we terrorized after the fact because we all thought it was funny she groupied out to a guy who doesn’t deserve groupies, it was one of those “he’s a model, he’s in the local pharmacy flyers” kind of shit, only the TV and Video version.
Either way, Jennifer Love, let’s take back what we said about catching swine flu from your puss, and have you send up a signed pair of dirty panties for me to wear as a hospital mask while the rest of the world dies off, ideally leaving just you and me, the way it was meant to be. Or some shit.
Hey Jennifer Love Hewitt, glad you took some time to get ready and make yourself presentable. You lazy fucking pig of a girl. I’d hate to see what your underwear looks like, because this kind of outfit leads me to think disgusting, you should burn the shit, not one needs to be catching swine flu from them shits.
Jennifer Love Hewitt was at some film premiere for some Gen Art collective shit that showcases all the best in independent film or some shit, but based on their attendees, it looks like they are more into showcasing slutty tit.
Speaking of tit, I didn’t get fucked on my birthday, I didn’t even make it out to the stripclub, I didn’t even get a lapdance, or date rape a bitch. I guess next year, we’ll try to make it out to this Gen Art brothel. Not that you care.
.jpg)
