I am not really a news story type of person because I don’t really ever know what the fuck is going on. I have been doing this site for a long fucking time and still need the message board I rip the pictures off of to tell me what I am looking at. I have done a lot of Jessica Biel posts and I didn’t even know who the fuck I was looking at in these so I guess I am not like your everyday virgin blogger who sits at his computer in his spiderman suit thinking that running a celeb site will get him all the pussy he never got before he found out he could make money from all the pics he saved on his hard drive but was too scared of jerking off to because maybe it would make a mess or some shit….
Either way, Justin Timberlake is slamming this girl. I assume she’s hot in person because every vagina around was being thrown at this motherfucker when he broke up with Cameron Diaz and if this broad shouldered D-Lister is what he ends up with for another 4 years, dude’s a fucking idiot…..or maybe just into bitches who can beat him up.
I heard that people with power are into being bottoms and dominated by chicks. I knew a whore who used to go to lawyer’s houses and either step on them in high heels or fuck them up the ass with cured meat…I would just do acid with her and watch the news….but I wasn’t paying her, she just liked my company….I like to think she ended up in a Pretty Woman story, but reality is she’s probably still getting high with homeless motherfuckers…
Life is repetitive. Most people have shitty jobs you have to go to and on the way to your shitty jobs you stop at the same shitty coffee shop for a shitty coffee where the same coffee shop chick gives you your coffee and smiles while asking how they are by name, because you go their too fucking often. Then you get to the job and do the same shitty tasks you’ve done for the last 3 shitty years you’ve been working at the fucking company that doesn’t even remember your name and if they do it’s because you’re the bitch at the office who does the photocopies for them, and management never wants to piss off the company bitch…Lunch is at the same 4 places that are around the office for the same meals you have each fucking week, sometimes you feel experimental and order the fish of the day, but that’s just because part of you is hoping it’s rancid and will kill you so that you don’t have to ever step foot in their ever again….Then you go back to the office to go through the same tasks you’ve done over and over and sometimes you stay late to finish them off and make yourself look good so that the next raise day your boss will really notice how important you are to the inner workings of the organization…then you head home exhausted to watch tv alone and eat a frozen dinner, or maybe you are married and have a girlfriend you go home to hang out with or fight with or bitch at about how shitty your day was, you watch the same shows, or maybe a movie you rented then pass out for it all to happen again tomorrow. Nothing to look forward to, except maybe a vacation you’ll never be able to afford because you have to plan a wedding with your chick or else she’s going to leave you and the thought of going through this hell life alone scares you more than ditching a trip….
Thank god the repetitive hell that is my life isn’t as bad as yours, being poor and unemployed gives me the luxury of wondering the street aimlessly, but I guess maintaining this site is repeptitive sometimes because these are pictures of Jessica Biel and her dogs, again and it feels like I see this shit ever fucking day and I talk about how those dogs have eaten her used tampons out of the garbage, her dirty panties out of the hamper, licked her used vibrator she forgot to put away, seen her shit, piss and throw up. These dogs have see her fuck and get fucked and get experimental while she fucks…they have seen her run around her house naked…..but for some reason I kinda like this kind of repetitiveness, if I could I’d totally get a boner now. How’s that make you feel pervert?
I guess this is a total fucking stretch, but since I am a fucking pervert, I have no problem taking pictures of girls leaving events and turning them into porn, I’d say it was a talent, but I think it may actually be a bit of a disorder.
After actually cropping the pictures like a migrant worker, which is pretty much what I am, I realized that she isn’t even really making sex faces, she just looks better than usually because she isn’t flexing. I really have no problem with a toned body, I actually find that shit hot because a girl who takes care of her abs and hits the gym on the regular, usually maintains her stinky parts so that they don’t stink.
I have a friend at the park who is completely obsessed with girls who have stinky poons. He thinks that shit is sexy, like it’s how a girl is supposed to smell. He’s dated girls and made them not shower for weeks at a time to get the stink that really drives him crazy. I was pretty disgusted by it because despite not showering myself, I got issues with other people stinking especially when that other person is who I am banging, but reality is that I guess we are animals and we probably didn’t shower when we lived in caves and maybe the stinkiest cunt was actually the most desirable one because we could sniff that shit out from a mile away and knock the bitch up, knowing she was the whore monkey who wanted babies.
I guess that isn’t really the point of this post, the post is the Jessica Biel is probably drunk and since every girl I ever got with was fucked up one way or another, maybe those glazed eyes and greasy face are what I equate to a good fucking time….
Here are pictures of Jessica Biel going to church to try and figure shit out, I am pretty sure she’s making sure god loves her before actually announcing to the world that she eats pussy, even though her broad shoulders and pantsuit are pretty much doing the job for her. I know fags and all the fags I know did some serious soul searching before declaring they were faggot. Some joined the church, some went to therapy, while others sucked dick in the bathroom at a gay bar. Whether they chose to come out, decided it was a phase, or bottled that shit up, they still did it wearing women’s panties. So we know that Biel is halfway there.
I was at a party this weekend where 2 girls were dyking out in the dark corner. I was convinced that it would lead to some public finger banging, so I started watching. I was next to a hot chick who was doing the same, but for some reason, when they noticed they had an audience of two, they singled me out as the pervert, got up and invited the girl who was staring at them with me to an after party, before spitting in my face. Life’s not fair, except if you’re a lesbian. That’s the story I learned.
There’s some stripper at my local strip club who is on steroids. She has been working there as long as I have been going there and I never really understood it because I generally like my strippers to look like they have Vagina’s, but I guess they need to have something for everyone. I remember playing drinking games with friends and the loser had to get a lap dance in the back for her.
There was a time when I worked at a porno company and they were aggressively pushing the tranny shit. I never really understood it because I generally like my porno’s to have girls with pussies and not dicks. But I guess a lot of faggots don’t like admitting they are faggots because of their family background, wives, families, jobs and shit.
That said, Jessica Biel is a little too masculine for me and I think I can see her balls hanging out o the side of her panties, but maybe it’s just a clit the size of a grown man’s thumb, I’m really no expert.
Download the trailer to this movie – where the screencaps are from – HERE
I love bowling. It is official. I ended up going and it was a dream come true. I saw all kinds of weird fucking people, like the professional asians with wrist guards and shit to the 300 pound bitch behind the counter that was too fucking fat to get me change but not fat enough to be my wife. I bowled a solid 60 and drank enough beer to make me forget how I can’t do anything right, all while watching the piece of trash chick in spandex in the lane next to me out bowl me not that I would really know because I was too busy staring at her ass. I don’t think that bowling slut was a dyke, even though you would think anyone who bowls has to be a fucking lesbian, but I do think Jessica Biel is because it makes for a solid fantasy. All i see is her with some chick that looks like a dude buying toilet paper to wipe their cum shots off each other’s chests, but I am not always right.
Everyone loves Jessica Biel, even though her shoulders are bigger than your dads, that is if you have a dad, I always took you as more of a guy who was from a single parent home and that’s why your mom still does your laundry for you and you’re thirty. Why go out there and find a new woman to marry when mommy is all the wife you can handle and he doesn’t give you a hard time when she catches you watching porn in your basement bedroom apartment she set up for you.
I know I am pretty repetitive with this shit, but I guess it’s a lot like your daily life, everyday the same thing over and over and over…but at least there is always food on the table.
These paparazzi pieces of shit are insane with their flashbulbs that make shirts transparent, I am not complaining it makes for good business, if this was actually a business, a man is allowed to dream, just like you are allowed to pretend you are cuppin’ these titties in your firm typing grip hand…CUDDLES.
Someone get this bitch a shovel. Either she hasn’t eaten in a month or she’s bulimic. I have an obese wife and even she takes smaller, more dainty bites than this man. I guess the benefit of having a girl witch a big mouth capacity and a firm grip like Biel probably has from all the weight lifting is that she could probably give a solid blowjob.
The problem with blowjobs is that all girls think they are good at them. I have only had a handful of good blowjobs in my life, but every blowjob was given by a girl who thought she gave the best blowjob in town. If a girl felt like she gave a shitty blowjob she’d work on making it better, she’s try a little harder but since everytime she does it all she gets is positive feedback, because after a dude cums, everything suddenly becomes amazing. That means with orgasm comes praise like “baby you’re amazing, that was the best blowjob ever”. Totally inflating the girl’s ego.
It’s like telling a fat girl she looks good in a low cut top cuz her tits spill out all over the place, when in reality you just like tits and she’s got plenty to offer, and now the bitch rocks a low-cut shirt everywhere she goes making the rest of us sick to our stomachs, cuz no one likes a fat chick in low-cut tops or spandex…well maybe not no one, but most people….
I think the difference between dudes giving head and girls giving head is that no matter how much box we’ve eaten, we never really know exactly what we’re doing. We know that we love it because it’s a vagina in our mouth and the chances of that happening to you is pretty unlikely, so when it does you just spend as much time as she gives you playing around down there….until the roofies wear off. Pervert….
This is Jessica Biel’s Ass. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass in a Bikini. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass in a Bikini on a Boat. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass on all fours. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass ready to get fucked but that damn bikini is in the way. This is Jessica Biel’s Ass that you want to fuck. Hey isn’t that Jessica Biel’s Ass….
That was my attempt at Search Engine Optimization…someone told me the more I wrote a key word like Jessica Biel’s Ass , the better I’ll come up in google. I figure that you don’t care about the success of this site and either do I, that’s why I just did a Jessica Biel’s Ass post the way I just did.
I guess the point of all this is to say that you motherfuckers don’t care about what I have to say. You don’t care to hear me say that bitch is built like a wrestler who just decided that he was really supposed to be born a chick, so he went to the doctor and passed his psych tests and next thing you know he’s driving across America with his drug addicted son. I’ve seen TransAmerica ten times prepping for this post. My theory is only based on her thick ankles and adam’s apple. I could be wrong. It happens. She is over-rated but I’d still bang her, but I have no standards. Do you like it?
I was at the strip club the other night and the bitch kept asking me if I liked it. Of course I fucking like it. You’re 20, half dominican/italian, speak for languages and you’re grabbing your pussy…do you like it? Your name for the day was leta and you were the most intense dance I’ve ever seen…do you like it? It was your first night and you were talking about how much it turned you on….do you like it? enough of this and here are the Jessica Biel Ass Pics
I am still on vacation and it seems that Jessica Biel is too. My Vacation consists of me sitting on my ass in my shitty one bedroom apartment, her vacation is a little more intense and luxurious. Lucky for you she wore a white bikini and with white bikinis come full vaginal definition.
I am pretty sure I’ve seen these pictures before, I recognize her stupid tennis game, but I’ll post them because everyone else is and it’s still Christmas to me. I don’t really have much more to say about this because I am on vacation and my vacation isn’t that much different from my everyday life so go fuck yourself if you’re complaining, I can’t tell, because we have a pretty one-sided relationship. I did liveblog my Christmas but haven’t decided if I should bother posting it. I realize that few people read what I write. RIP Gerald Ford.
I think I have OCD. I saw these pics and even though I had nothing to say about them but I knew that the other sites who post them will get a ton of traffic for them. I also know that no one has posted these yet. So I have no choice but to post them because otherwise I wil sit here kicking myself in the ass about not posting them even though I really don’t care about them. See that’s the kinda shit that goes on in my head in running this piece of shit site. These are the useless stresses I have in my life. On a positive note, I have a lot of real stresses in my life like putting food on the table and paying rent and whether I am dying or not. So look at the pics.
Here’s a “song” I wrote 5 years ago when drunk. It’s really life-changing – in a negative way. Cuddles.
Bam Bam, I ate a ham,
The smell is sweet,
I know I can
Bam Bam
I ate a Ham
The color or your hair
Makes me a man
and you a ma’am
well ma’am can you do a hand stand?
Take of your pants and do it again…
I have had limited experience with Ass Shelves in my life, because most of the women I have got with have been on either end of the spectrum. Meaning that there have been a handful of obese bitches like my wife who’s riding in at about 300 lbs and a bunch of bitches who were emaciated from malnourishment and drug addiction. I have rarely been involved with a healthy bitch with a solid waist to hip ratio or a booty, or a clear complexion, because when you’re a fat whore your potential booty gets burried under layers and layers of disgustingness and if you are a walking corpse your tits and ass kinda just hang off your body along with your uterus and other vital organs. I did get a lap dance from a bitch with an ass that doubled as a shelf once, but that doesn’t count because that shit wasn’t free. There was also a Brazilian girl who I remember being obsessed with a couple years ago. She was 18 and would frequent some local dive I’d spend my paychecks at. She would run around in spandex pants, before spandex was American Apparel Approved, and I would just watch her get chatted up by the college kids who also frequented this bar. The liquor was cheap and I was too busy feeling sorry for myself to chat her up at the time. That’s not to say I woulda ever fucked her, I am a married man, but I would have invited her over pool parties. She’s probably get pissed off when realizing that my one bedroom apartment doesn’t have a pool, but that’s when the rope, duct tape and ether come into play to start the party up my way.
I was told that the reason I am fun to hang around is because I am weird. I took offense to that shit. I am fun to hang around because I am the coolest motherfucker on the Internet and Internet is life (when you have no friends). I like to think of myself as a normal person and the reason I am called weird is because suburban people hate that I don’t have a job, because having a career fucking sucks. I can barely get by, but at least I can spend my days sitting on a park bench watching 7 year olds play in a wading pool near my house. I don’t do it cuz I am into 7 year olds, I do it because I love fucking with the parents. The world is so fucking paranoid and seeing a sleazy mexican in sunglasses and soiled jogging pants always sets off their alarms. I guess fucking with people is what I do for a job I don’t get paid for, because I also love inappropriately touching people’s dogs. I don’t anything illegal to the dog, I just ask the owner what the dogs name is and start heavy petting until they ask me to stop. It’s always a laugh.
Speaking of laughs, check out this cunt’s bra. Bra’s are always funny when you are in grade 4. Cuddles.
Nothing says “We’re the lamest family in the fuckin’ world” than playing cards with you mom at Starbucks. Nothing says “I love you” more than making you dress up like a highschool mascot and jerking off in your furry face. Nothing says “future rapist” than pulling out your dick at a laundry mat and telling the girl at the cash that you need more quarters or you’ll rape her. Nothing says d-list celebrity like running around on the beach in a bikini. I have nothing to fuckin’ say about anything and I hate you….
Jessica Biel was on 7th Heaven and works out. I guess she’s not one of those trendy bitches that’s in such high demand that they don’t have to stay in shape to get work, they just have to starve themselves, look fabulous and do lots of YAY. While Jessica’s one of those girls who has to put in the extra mile or five, just to get noticed. Jessica’s shorts make her look like some L.L.Bean dyke about to run some Iron Man triatholon after she fucks her husband up the ass with the strap on. Hasn’t bitch ever heard of spandex? She probably should have reconsidered being on some homo christian show. Nobody likes a good girl, except me, I was once doing the maintenance at the local church and when I went into the shed to get “Jesus Rake” when I walk in on some dirty bible thumping sluts, ramming a “Santa Maria” statue in her cooter. Point of the story is that it didn’t happen, but if it did, I would be totally down with Jesus-Loving Born Again Sluts.
