Oh shit here was a Kate Party…..and I wasn’t invited….because I don’t get invited to anything, but also because my name isn’t Kate…except in certain circles like when I was in prison but I’d rather not get into those dark and painful to walk years….

Kate Beckinsale, Kate Bowsworth and Kate Hudson showed off some the tit and bodies they had, and also let a couple other twats passed security, like Reese Witherspoon and Olivia Wilde, cuz they feel sorry for them for obvious reasons…..

Here are the pics…

Kate Beckinsale Busting Out

Kate Hudson and her Mom Implants

Kate Bosworth Skinny Goodness

Oh and Reese Witherspoon was there

Reese Witherspoon Busted…

So was Olivia Wilde…cuz she already named herself ofter Oscar Wilde, what more does she need to do to get relevant in Hollywood…ya know….

Here’s Kate Bosworth all skinny and amazing…but more importantly…let’s hope inspiring…because teenage girls just aren’t into eating disorders like they used to be…at least I don’t think they are…based strictly on living near a school and seeing how fat the bitches are as they eat their pastries from our coffee shop every fucking day….It’s like they’ve lost the icons and idols who actually helped them better themselves with unrealistic expectations…because trying to look fuckable and hot…is usually a lot better than accepting your disgusting body and runnin’ with it and by running I mean to the dessert cart at the buffet…if you knwow hat I mean…

Fuck Kate Bosworth is fat. I mean look at this ass, it’s so wide and dumpy, I can almost see the cellulite through her dress. I don’t know what’s going here but clearly she’s taking up emotional eating and not exercising, I mean seriously, someone get this girl an eating disorder.

I love me some little titty on a skinny bitch as much as the next guy. I love the idea of bitches tanning topless cuz they know tits aren’t a big deal, they’re just tits. You know on the European kick of why the fuck do I have to wear a bikini top, I didn’t wear one as a child and I’m not going to wear one now, allowing perverts like me to walk around in sunglasses gawking the shit out of them, cuz for some reason, as unexciting as tits are, I love starin at them and no matter how many tits I see, I love staring at them, and no matter how many tits and touch, I love staring at them and what better place than a beautiful beach, next to a beautiful Ocean in Mexico, my native land, to make the whole thing a lot better than looking at the shit in a dingy bar that smells like shit and poverty…

What I don’t get is how the photographer missed the fucking nipple pics, I mean shit, she’s topless on the beach, not even hiding her shit, and for some reason, this is the best picture we get – what a scam.

I call Conspiracy to get attention…..

I generally hate celebrity pussy because I made my life about looking at their pictures all day in some self destructive, self abusive, self sabotaging way. Cuz really before this site, I knew nothing about celebrity, I didn’t care to know about celebrity, and I found the whole celebrity thing a waste of time and boring. I was much more into real life bitches I could get drunk and molest.

But for some reason, since Rachel Bilson ended her relationship with her handler in Canada. The creepy dude from Star Wars who snuffed out her work cuz he wasn’t getting work but locking her in a cage on his farm….I’m really diggin’ her.

Maybe it’s the memories of The OC, when I used to watch the shit to seduce college girls awkwardly back during season 1, or maybe it’s cuz I like the smell of pussy when it’s let free….ready to make up for lost time…unfortunately not with me…but I didn’t expect it to be with me…so I’m not let down…I’m more of a voyeur anyway….sex is just too physically challenging for my weight class.

Kate Bosworth is in the mix too cuz she’s in a tight dress, they are filming a movie together and I figured she was worthy of getting in on this Rachel Bilson stroking post…

Girls are generally too fat for my liking these days. Sure I don’t mind lookin’ at a set of fat tits or a nice round fat ass every once in a while, but there’s just something disgusting about seeing a gut hanging over a pair of jeans, or seeing a bitch eating, knowing that she’s not keeping up with society’s standards, in some kind of rebelling that brings on serious laziness that no one really wants to see, cuz we hate seeing quitters…but more importantly, we hate disgusting sloppy bodies…and with all the good press fat chicks get, from Plus Sized models to Precious being nominated for awards and all the negative press skinny bitches get from calling being skinny “eating disorder” making it out to be a disease or some shit…it’s kinda obvious that this is happening….

I can only assume this is propoganda from the sugar, butter and chocolate farmers of America, cuz the fatter our pussy is, the more money they’re making….but I guess thanks to them and their ruining of American Pussy, there’s something nice about Kate Bosworth and her tall skinny legs showing off their how superior they are to you…..

Kate Bosworth is hot. She’s not fat. She’s got perky tits and I’m a fan.

These pictures are even hotter cuz they are of her leaving a script reading session with Rachel Bilson cuz they are filming a new movie called BFF & Baby together….which is probably going to be the movie I’ll most likely be jerking off when it hits Theaters despite all the warnings the manager at the AMC has given me about exposing myself at the movies…

Seriously….Kate Bosworth and Rachel Bilson are probably the two hollywood pussies I like best. Throw in some Mila Kunis without her Culkin-AIDs and I’m spent.

They keep to themselves, they aren’t 17, they don’t expose themselves on the regular intentionally and they don’t do the trashy hollywood obvious fame hungry cry for attention hustle like all the other bottom feeders…it is almost like they are keeping things the way they were when I started the site…before the paparazzi and internet made hollywood one massive blog post….and that makes me want them both naked at the same time, hopefully a scene that gets sneaked into the final script….

I just want to say, the producers of this movie are really onto something…I just hope they really take advantage of the situation they have at hand and get them naked…cuz as someone who has fucked up many amazing sexual situations with questionable looking bitches…I know the regret of not pullin’ through when I had the chance follows me for life…

Kate Bosworth is good. That’s all I have to say about that. Which should make you happy cuz usually I have too much to say about bullshit that doesn’t matter….but this girl is good…and makes me satisfied with leaving it at that…

Pics via Bauer

I love skinny girls….I spent a better part of yesterday stalking a girl…I don’t really like to call it stalking because that would imply I was creepy and criminal when really I was just admiring her because she was skinny and in the smallest tightest shorts I’ve ever seen on a girl. Her legs were long and luxurious and her tits were small and perky….so I did what any guy who had nothing better to do with his time and followed her home. It turns out her last name is “Roberts”…her buzzer code is 1093…she must live alone or she’s just anorexic…cuz she went grocery shopping and bought 1 apple, a case of diet coke and a pound of roast turkey slices, which would explain why she’s so skinny…at 11 pm she left her house and got into a cab that I tried to follow but lost her outside one of those trendy supper club bullshits….and I went home to my pig wife who was eating ice cream and crying about some bullshit I tried to ignore…because I was too busy realizing that life fucking hates me and I’m real bad at it cuz otherwise I’d be bossing Kate Bosworth to bounce her boney ass on my pelvis instead of being afraid my wife is going to get frisky and smother me to death with hers….

Pics via Fame

Kate Bosworth has something hot about her. Maybe it’s her face, or her bank account despite never getting work, but I like to think it’s got more to do with her not being fat. Sure in not being fat, she’s pretty much got no tit, but with all the jacked up hormones in food and obesity, sometimes no tit is a fucking luxury, cuz big sloppy tit are often a sign of disgusting….but then again, I have an anorexia fetish…

Small tit is only a sign of ghetto shit when it’s on a fat chick, because there’s something totally unnatural about the shit, like bitch was lives under powerlines or near the nuclear plant, or has a diet of high chemical junk food that distorts her genetic code, leaving her fat, flat and awkward looking….and unfortunately for me, one of them is my fucking wife and her 48 A cup bra….like some horrible curse from God…and further proof I fucking suck at life….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

I know Kate Bosworth is boring as fuck, but like every boring as fuck girl, I can only assume it is safe to say that she’s not a boring fuck. It’s like she keeps shit played down and conservative, but the second you get her to trust you, she turns into a freak in bed, at least that’s what I like to think, because I think she’s kinda hot and like most hot girls, I like to visualize them bouncing on my pathetic excuse for a dick, not that you care….

Pics via Fame

Skinny girls with hard nipples and a skinny little ass are always hot to me, even if they are useless actors who don’t get enough work for me to really figure out why you know their name or where you have seen them before, but you do know that even when their hard nipples are hardly there, it’s good enough and I have a feeling that’s the same thing she thinks to herself when she lands obscure and insignificant jobs in a “take the money and run while its coming in and people still give me work” kind of way…..and I guess we can only hope she has the same outlook on all things in her life, especially when it comes down to deciding who to stick inside her, because having no standards, tastes, consciousness is really the only hope we ever have of crawling up inside and dying inside this bitch like we were her laxative and diet coke eating disorder lunch….

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Kate Bosworth is one of those girls who I never really bothered noticing and I am really not sure why. Maybe she hasn’t been in enough movies I’ve seen. Maybe the paparazzi don’t follow her around enough, maybe she doesn’t really have enough scandlas, but she I am falling in love. This is exactly what a girl should look like, even though she’s not showing off anything, not flashing anything, not slipping anything, she looks clean and like the kind of girl you wouldn’t wish you used a dental dam on when you spend the day licking her pussy.

So if you don’t look like this, or your girl doesn’t look like this, you best print these pictures and bring it to your plastic surgeon, or post it on your fridge, cuz otherwise it’s just not worth living. Seriously. Kill yourself.

Kate Bosworth is pretty skinny for an American and should be given more credit for it, instead of abuse for being an anorexic. This is the kind of thinspiration all you fat fucks need so that you stop eating. Now, I don’t find her all that hot to look at and I never did because she pretty much has no sex appeal, but it’s nicer to look at than the shit I’ve seen sitting by the pool on my trips to the USA.

Now, I don’t travel all that much, or ever for that matter but I got a call on Sunday morning from this 18 year old girl who doesn’t have her driver’s license and who wanted to go to Vermont for the afternoon to shop and she needed a driver. Now, I don’t know why she called me to take her because I barely know her and I could have raped and killed her for all she knew, but since I had nothing better to do, I decided to go for the road trip. I showed up at her house, only to find that I’d be driving her dad’s BMW across the border and got nervous knowing that I am a Mexican with a sketchy past, that I was driving an expensive car despite being unemployed, that I was with an 18 year old girl who was 20 years younger than me and most importantly that I was only driving into Burlington for about 3 hours before turning around and coming back, but went anyway, because we all need adventure in our lives….

For the first hour, I kept telling the girl my concern about the border and that Americans will not like this whole situation and she kept telling me to tell the Border dude we were going to a confirmation or wedding and when I got to the border I felt like I was going to get arrested, I hate authority and I hate being in these situations and I panicked. I pulled up to the wicket window and these tough guy who though he was in the Iraq war and liked his power position and used it to intimidate my already nervous self asked me why I was going to the USA. I told him that I had dinner plans and instead of ending it there, decided to add “with friends” to make it more believable despite the smart side of my brain telling me not to. Now, the terminator found driving to the States to have dinner with friends a little strange, especially coming from a Mexican with an 18 year old in a BMW and as I was beating myself up for saying that I was meeting friends, he decided to ask me what my friend’s names were. I froze. I didn’t have an answer and I just stared at him blankly, while he got more and more aggressive, and started asking me about my job, why the car had damage on it, how much I make a month and then he got out and searched the fuckin’ car, asked me to pull over and brought me inside to search me. They asked me what my site was, there was no way in hell I was telling them that it was DrunkenStepfather because I feel like some of the shit I do on here is illegal and ended up spending 2 hours at the border before they agreed to let me in after jumpin through all the hoops and leading them to believe that I am not a drug dealer or terrorist, which I am not.

I guess the point of this story is really that there is no point, but once in Burlington, I walked into a store that was selling 12 packs of M&Ms for $2 and all kinds of other disgusting junk food that would make my wife cum more than I ever have, which in all honesty isn’t that hard because I was never one for worrying about making my woman cum and more into making myself cum. I also saw some fat bitches who made my wife look skinny sitting by an above ground pool at some trailer park campground and I felt like I was in heaven, a miserable heaven but heaven nonetheless.

Either way, here’s Bosworth in her bikini….

UPDATE – I forgot to mention that there was chicken breast, a bottle of wine and a box of sex toys in the car to make the whole border experience even more awkward than me hearing myself tell the border guard that I was meeting up with friends like an idiot. Not that you care, but since this is a blog I want to make sure I keep my diary in order so that when I look back on it in 20 years, to remind myself why I should never be a criminal, I’ll have all my facts in order….

I am feeling pretty uninspired. I know that I went out this weekend and got drunk and had random shit happen to me, but the beauty of being drunk all the time is that my memory is fucking shit. I remember specifically being laughed at by two haggard chicks who were rollin’ with some old men who I automatically assumed were escorts, but think they were probably just barely 30 ugly chicks who were looking for husbands because they knew that they had limited time and their past experience proved getting cock to be hard. I am talking about the kind of girl who you bring home for a one night stand but bitch either tries to cut off the tip of the condom or takes the used condom out of the trash to try to shove back in them because of dreams of pregnancy make them do crazy things. I am not really sure if they were actually laughing at me, but it still made me mad enough to throw my piece of pizza that some weird Asian man gave me at them. In retrospect I would have rather eaten that fucker instead of wasting it on those cunts, but I guess my regrets aren’t as painful as the old married guys who they were with who probably stupidly decided to fuck them without a condom and cum inside them because they were drunk and it’s not every day that a girl you don’t know asks you to bust inside them.

Either way, here are pictures of Kate Bowsworth and her friend on the beach in bikinis being overly friendly, because bikinis are a lot more interesting than anything I have to say for myself. Cuddles.