I remember watching Kellie Pickler on American Idol, back when I had a TV and before Ryan Seacrest encouraged her to get these small implants to better her career….before fame and fortune by her hick inbred standards hit…when she was just some backwoods hick crying about her grandfather who it was apparent she was having sex with…at least as far as I was concerned….maybe it was cuz he was toothless, or maybe it was because he was also her brother, father and conveniently the only man in their backwoods town…and there’s just something about hicks…maybe it is their lack of education…their lack of dental hygiene, or really hygiene as a whole, maybe it’s their good country values, or maybe it is that they start fucking at a young age when no wrestling lawn furniture that really talks to me…and unfortunately, here’s this inbred hick gone hollywood…back home they don’t even have bikinis, just old burlap potato sacks until you get lucky enough to bust out great gandmaw’s roadkill bikini woven with 4 months of roadkill suppers….who cares….this tight body makes inbreeding seem right….iI mean if you’ve fucked a family memeber, the orgasms probably already sold you…but this is for the non-inbreeders….which I assume there is at least one of you out there…it also makes growing up on a diet of rationed poor man’s squirrel stew seem like something they need to bring to the obese mainstream…
Here’s her audition video from American Idol….Drunken Paula is the highlight
Here’s she doing some smarter than a third grader – and guess what she’s not smarter than a third grader….
I used to find this inbred hick interesting when she was on American Idol back when I watched American Idol because I had a TV with one channel and little energy to do much else than sit there and watch the shit….Not interesting in a “I’d love to sit down and have a great conversation” way, but interesting in the fact that she was kinda hot and grew up in the backwoods banging her grandfather, she was dumb as shit and seemed easy to trick into anal and pretty much into anything and fucking some serious redneck retard trash was always a dream…but she hasn’t aged too well, even her fake tits look like a disaster, but I guess that’s what happen to most white trash when they turn 25, their teeth just can’t keep up with all the Tang they’ve been drinking and start fallin’ out..or whatever else it is that wrecks hick girls who I once wanted to fuck….like teenage pregnancy, malnourishment and bad genes…you’d hope Hollywood woulda saved her from….
Kellie Pickler was out supporting some Taylor Swift bullshit because I guess she wanted to see how real successful country/pop singing cunts actually make shit happen, cuz her only formal training in anything that made her money was watching her mom wait tables at the shitty town diner, or maybe it was watched her mother work the pole at the local stripclub that was build inside an old big rig trailer, I don’t really remember because I don’t give a fuck about ex American idols with fake tits and a thick accent, especially when they aren’t 18 anymore….
Hey, Guess What? I’m not dead. I am just lazy. I figure why get up in the morning to entertain your assholes, while I can fuck around and entertain myself. It’s more fun.
Speaking of tits, here’s Kellie Pickler performing a song that she wrote herself. I was surprised that it was just her name over and over because it’s the only thing she knows how to spell, but maybe her grandaddy taught her more than just how to give a solid blowjob and not tell anyone about it.
Either way, here’s the video, because shitty country is a good way to remind you that despite it being Friday, the day every 9 to 5er is hard for, you know, waiting all week in excitement for this day to roll around, whistling around the office asking everyone what their weekend plans are, you sit at your desk depressed because you have no plans, not friends, and nothing to do with yourself. It’s just going to be like every weekend, where you just sleep in, the sit on your couch with takeout and dvds, wallowing in your own filth, waiting for Monday to roll around so you can at least interact with other humans again…fuck you TGIF for ruining my life.
Kellie Pickler, like VIda Guerra got a set of fake tits with the little money she made at American Idol and I guess that makes her the hottest girl in the town of 50 people she’s from. She’ll be lucky enough to marry the farmer who had the biggest output last season who lives in luxury compared to his neighbors because he has running water in the shack he lives in.
I guess as much as I make fun of Pickler for being a retard, she was probably the hottest thing to ride her mule through American Idol and despite having a relationship so close to her grandfather cuz her parents were deadbeats or died in a farming accident, that he even shaves her lil coochie for her, which seems creepy to us city folk, but where they are from is normal since she’s not his actual daughter and playing with your daughter’s coochie would cross the incest line from their backwoods community, but laying with your grand daughter’s coochie is ok, but in his defense he was the best damn sheep shearer in the county.
What I am trying to say is that she sings country and lives country and that’s something a lot more commendable than whatever the fuck Jessica Simpson is doing. Here are her big new tits while she signs some kind of pool table, god knows why, but who really cares, just look at her tits.
Last I heard of Kellie Pickler she was on American Idol talking about her grandfather who both raised her and had sex with her because that’s how they do things in the small down they are from. Pussy is limited so when you make one of your own, you got every right to do as you please with it, I am not sure if that was her exact quote because I was watching the shit on mute cuz I couldn’t stomach her twang and inbred level of intelligence.
I almost feel bad saying that because the truth is that everyone busts inbred people for being retarded or handicapped or whatever just because their parents are related, but I went to school with a set of ibred people, who’s parents were cousins and both kids, despite being weird lookin’, did really well in school. Maybe it was cuz they were first generation and not a line of inbred people like Pickler, but I think her retardedness stems from other things, like dropping out of school at the age of 8 to tend to the farm and by farm I mean grandpa’s dick.
Either way, these are some pictures of her sluttin out in some personal pics with the tits she always wanted and bought with her American Idol money. It’s nice to see dreams can come true.
I used to think I was a great judge of who had fake tits and who didn’t, but the fake tits I was spotting were the shitty jobs that bitches with no money would get or the insane jobs that bitches with some money would get to make more money in their stripping careers. I am talking girls with implants would either look like they had disgusting round and uneven awkward looking botched tits or absurdly HUGE tits that were so obviously fake. So now that I realize that I am not a great judge of anything, I can say that I have no idea if Kellie Pickler got new tits or not, but she’s showing something off that I am sure you don’t mind looking at, because you are unemployed or on disability or on welfare, because this site is banned in offices internationally. That’s how good at blogging I am….
The thing I like about this bitch is that she looks like she is dumb as bricks at the whole world around her seems exciting and colorful. She’s the kind of girl you can keep happy by turning on the cartoon channel and giving her a bag of candy. I am pretty sure she’d get so sucked in that you could go off drinking with your friends and come back 4 days later and she’d be in the same position not even realizing that you left her….not that you’ll ever get the chance to test it out, unless maybe she ends up on the stripping circuit, which isn’t unlikely making her new tits a pretty solid investment or her future life.
