The best thing Lindsay Lohan did for her career was get amazing implants…seriously….they are the fucking best in natural tear drop….that people still argue are real…even though when she’s on a meth or anorexia kick…her tits stay the same size…something that any tit obsessed dude who fucks crack whores will tell you…just doesn’t make any fucking sense….

So seeing her in a see through shirt, even if I can only see bra, is amazing, if you don’t focus on her tormented ex addict nicotine stained fingers….unless you are like me and love that shit cuz it shows torment, anxiety, nervous behavior that usually is near the breaking point, or what I like to call the gateway to fun.

It’d be nice if Lohan was friendly with me…because there is so much I’d do to her….from playing with her breasts like I was Samantha Ronson….to winning her Academy Awards…even if I had to steal the shit from Eric Roberts….cuz she deserves it.

I like documenting and keeping track of Lindsay Lohan’s face because it seems to have of life of its own….

She’s been adding fillers and botox and doing all kinds of insecure chick things to herself and she’s not even 30 yet….

I get her vanity, especially in her gig and I realize that she abused the fuck out of herself over her short years, growing up before her time, so that her baby face and youthfulness turned into the face of a 40 year old pretty fucking fast…

But I like the natural demise of a bitch…I don’t like when science interferes and makes theme look like robot aliens from the future…unless science is shaving off some of their battered labia or fixing their shitty tits….

Either way, whatever is going on here with Lohan is hilarious…

Since Lohan’s face is morphing every day….I like to take snapshots of the weirder moments and send them to her over text.

She never answers….maybe she changed her number – or maybe she doesn’t find it as entertaining as I do…you know cuz usually when someone is injecting their face full of shit, ruining their loveliness, becoming what looks like a circus clown, they don’t like to admit it….or accept it…or take it to the cancer ward to humor little kids dying, RIP ADAM YAUCH…..They instead like to pretend it is beautiful and that they look good cuz they don’t have to look at it, in denial…and that’s okay too….as long as they bring the entertainment, I don’t care how they rationalize it….sure I’d prefer if her great tits were in the mix…but you can’t have everything…and in my case…I can’t have anything….that’s just how life worked itself out….

The rumor is she’s back with Ronson, the truth is she’s ignoring me, I’m a purist and appreciate all that is Lohan….I take the lows and the highs that come with her….and I anxiously await her Academy Award speech, shutting all you haters up….

I don’t know if the White House is trying to go pop, you know like an old timer who doesn’t really know what’s up so he invites the cool kids a few years too late, you know when they aren’t so cool anymore…..or if this is some kind of joke the White House is playing on the world….or if this is just where we are at in the grand scheme of America….where trash reigns supreme and anyone who has been on TV or in a Movie or in a Tabloid can attend their fucking events….From Kim Kardashian to Lohan…seems more like a Miami 5 star hotel on New Years than something remotely political….

Maybe, thee Whitehouse Correspondents Dinner was more about legalizing drugs, brining in Colombian Sofia Vergara who is famous due to drug cartel and their influence on Hollywood producers….Lohan someone who has been in and out of rehab….Rosario Dawson someone knows as a NYC club kid who openly does blow….and Kate Upton who will be on hard drugs as soon as she sees her ass start to catch up with her tits….you know as her metabolism slows and she becomes an Anna Nicoe Smith sequel….

But the good news is tha with low level trash comes titties and cleavage so click the pics to see more pics….of pics…pics pics pics….of bitches at this low level high profile event that is as classy as a crackhouse on the Sunset Strip….

Here’s Sofia Vergara

Here’s Lindsay Lohan with Some Weird Looking Face and Sideboob I’d Like to Fuck

Here’s Rosario Dawson Solid Spic Squatter Turned Famous Titties

Here’s Kate Upton Covered her Tits Cuz She’s Tired of Being Typecast as Just Tits to Show Off her Wonky Face

Here are some pics of a genetically modified Lindsay Lohan rocking her new chipmunk face on the set of Glee because apparently she got a Cameo spot, maybe this week they are singing songs from her album everyone forgot about….

I am pretty sure that she’s not getting paid for this, because that’s the place she’s at in her career, you know one step away from the final curtain being cast and evicted from Dancing with the Stars… but I like to view her on set being the reason she hasn’t answered my texts the last 6 months or more….you see for those of you who don’t know, me and Lohan were best text message friends for a few months when she was on drugs and a lesbian before the DUIs…and I haven’t been able to win her back…even though this is a time she needs me most…cuz I have great plans of K-Fedding her….that we can safely say won’t happen….partially because she’s so fucking busy… I mean come on look at these pics…where could she find the time to send me a titty pic between sitting around all day amongst a bunch of idiots you know as she filled her purse with the free food cuz she doesn’t have money for these kinds of luxuries anymore…..

The whole thing is amazing….I love reality checks and life lessons that make someone who was so high up in career and spirit crash so hard..it is fun to watch the scramble.

Lindsay Lohan is the new Lindsay Lohan…..

I don’t know what that means but her tits are so stupid, in a good way, that they make me feel stupid in a bad way….and no matter how jacked up her face is….I believe in the Oscar Winning Peformance she is going to give to shut all you motherfuckers up…..

People try to ruin such a great set of tits….you know by arresting her and giving her DUIs and making her do community service….that shit just puts a damper on things….makes her insecure, closed off, unhirable….when all I fucking want is for her to be in movies….naked where she fucking belongs…..

Seriously….Bring Lohan Back to the amazingness that her tits still are….then send me the nudes….cuz I’m into that…

I dont’ know what these freckled half naked pictures of Lindsay Lohan are from, but I know I am glad they happened, because Lindsay Lohan is probably one of my favorite, even 10 years after her relevance has faded into a huge pile of shit, because she’s still Lindsay Lohan, she still has great tits, she still has potential to bring shit back, and she still answers my emails and text messages once a year, reminding me that she hasn’t gone completely insane yet, you see cuz if she was answering me daily, we’d know she hit rock bottom…..She’s pretty much the best thing to come out of Disney and I’m totally into helping her revive her career by giving her vagina mouth-to-mouth….

Here’s some obnoxious fake British accent making some commentary on some pictures I am not allowed to post, complete with obnoxious jokes, unfounded assumptions, overall low quality coverage….but luckily, with the help of the mute button, I am capable of focusing on the core of what really matters here and that is that Lohan is going to win a fucking Oscar….all you idiots just keep trying to bring her down…laugh at her cuz you would rather do that than focus on your own shitty lives staying in on a Saturday night to watch her….while she’s not staying in to watch you…if you know what I mean…and that is that she’s a fucking superstar and I want to get her pregnant at least now I do as her cheeks swelling goes down and her shitty whore hair gets a little more normal….

This is my Leave Lohan alone post like I was that tranny Chris Cocker and she was Britney.

She’s only 25 motherfuckers. I don’t even remember being 25. I was a fucking mess and look at me now….running the internet in my own delusions….

Give her a fucking break. She’s hot. More importantly…she’s Lindsay fucking Lohan…

Fuck LINDSAY LOHAN and the media blitz she’s getting for being on Saturday Night Live….also known as the most depressing show on TV….cuz it means you are sitting at home on a Saturday night…waiting for a depressing fucking sunday….well now they done gone made it worse…sadder….unless you’re like me and you love sad, depressing, horrible things so much you want to fuck it right in her bloated fucking pig face, cartoon character cheeks like you were Sam Ronson’s skinny jeaned dick……

Either way, this Lohan face looks like it’s got a mind of it’s own…a mind I wish was rimming my fucking ass.

I only hate Lindsay Lohan cuz she ignores me after celebrating a beautiful night in a hotel together…with other people cuz you have to understand for months she was texting me all the time….back in her crazy days….before she decided to get herself on track….even though by the looks of her she looks far crazier now….

So I sent her this message….

Because her face is hilarious….she didn’t answer me….

I can’t understand why she’s doing this shit to herself…cuz she’s hotter when not jacked up with injection of putty.

But even more hilarious is her interview on the Today show….I am amazed she’s only 25…..I still find her hot…I am ready for her Oscar….I just preferred her when she was addicted to drugs and made bad choices like hanging with me.

Lindsay Lohan is so mean…and I say this because the last 3 years she’s ignored me…..but also because of this video showing that she’s just not a friendly girl…she’s spoiled, coddled, has a distorted reality and in turn is a fucking cunt….but I guess you would be too if you went from the Lohan everyone loved…and I do mean everyone….that pussy saw so much dick it become a lesbian like an ice cream shop worker unable to stomach ice cream…..but based on the pictures I saw from this….she looks sick, or not feeling her best…bloated. haggard, ready to die, but struggling through this week for her last hurrah on SNL…

The whole thing is unfortunate considering how great those tits are….I just hope no one actually bothers watching her SNL performance this week…because there are better things to do on Saturday Night at midnight…like fucking.

A girl on my facebook took this picture of Lindsay Lohan at Terry Richardson at some show that Terry Richardson was putting on where Lohan went to support cuz it was the “it” fashion thing to be seen at…and because she likes to pretend she is Terry Richardson’s muse as it makes her feel important…while Richardson likes to pretend she is too cuz people love looking at pics of Lohan half naked …..except me….because when I look at this face I see a 48 year old housewife trying to look young and not a hot little cokeslut looking to suck my dick….there’s nothing appealing in it to me…no fantasy….and I’ve met Lohan and still can’t even debate fapping to her……

This is only hot to the haters and the necrophiliacs hoping that this look is a direct reflection of her health….leading one to believe she’ll soon be a corpse…

But as a longtime Lohan fan and lover…I just get disppointed….knowing that such amazing tits are going to waste….with such a wasted face….especially when she looked like this and THIS in 2008….

My claim to fame is that 2.5 years ago, Lindsay Lohan took a liking to me and followed me on Twitter, texted me non stop and even invited me to her hotel room to watch her dance in her pajamas to her unreleased album…She cried about Ronson….I hugged her and felt her amazing tits against my chest….and then she lost interest, changed her number, unfollowed me on twitter, disappeared, went through all her court dates….was unable to land a job and I like to think both are direcly corelated….

Terry Richardson’s claim to fame is that he was a NYC hipster photographer with a trust fund and a dream…immitating artist photographers….and re-inventing it for the mainstream….losing his touch of sleaze that made him worth paying attention to in the first place…but always retaining his celebrity friends…who people want to see pics of….it’s smart marketing…

Here are the outtakes from this LOVE MAGAZINE SHOOT ….and i’m digging them….cuz Lohan’s still hot…even if she’s photoshopped and actually is a wreck…since pictures are the only interraction I have with her now….

I don’t know why no one yells “How does it feel living with AIDS” to Lohan while attending an aids event for Fashion week…but people are too fucking star struck…they just see a celebrity, instantly think they are important, and start the suck up game…I’ve seen it many times…a bitch will shit talk a famous bitch until she sees the bitch then she starts screaming, asking for autographs, and the whole thing is just too fucking annoying to me…celebrity gossip is a lie….

The good news and the reason I am posting this nonsense is because some homie screams “Lindsay I have coke” or something like that…and it made me happy to see a bitch slandered, yelled obscenities at, even if they aren’t that obscene, because the public needs to revolt….

Here she is from another angle…

Long gone are the days she had people do her make-up for her…now she’s like an ex call girl…or showgirl…she’s forced to chain smoke her broken dreams away…waiting for opportunity to knock…unaware of the little pig of a human she is….

It amazes me that she’s 25 years old and not 40….so fucking damaged….but not damaged enough to call up Terry Richardson to take some pics of her hoping to feel like the “artist’s” muse…while he’s hoping to draw more attention to himself – even though he’s already shooting 75 percent of all fashion campaigns….in a a win win that everyone is going to shit on…while there is nothing to shit on…bitch is flaunting her tits…looks amazing and wrecked…and I’m pretty sure she’s showing a bit of nipple….

The only think that would make this better would be if they were self shot and had more labia in it…cuz using top photographers, even though desperate, takes away from the desperation….you know I want her at the point in her life where people like Terry Richardson don’t answer her calls….we’ll get there one day.