Yeah….that was a horrible joke. It is a pretty constant theme in my life but in my defense this bitch didn’t give me anything to work with. There was a time she was the biggest money making person in tennis and it had nothing to do with her playing tennis but everything to do with everyone wanting to fuck her which was a nice reminder to women everywhere that being hot pussy people want to fuck makes you more money than actually being good at something because looks are more important – so all you ugly bitches need to stop trying to get ahead and should just accept your fate and all you pretty girls need to stop getting educated or skilled at something and just shorten your skirt hemline….some advice Maria Sharapova should take cuz clearly these pants make me think she’s forgotten what she’s good for as she actually tries to play tennis and that’s pretty unfortunate…like this post.

Pics via Bauer

Maria Sharapova was a big deal a few years ago. Since I’ve stopped following the tennis circuit because I am not a Wasp with a Volvo and white shorts. I do however appreciate any sport where women don’t have to be transformed into dudes to be pro but can still be sexed up in little skirts, with little panties that always end up getting a little wet spot on them by the third set of screaming and moaning like bitch is getting the biggest dick of her fucking life with every serve…

Sure Sharapova isn’t as appealing as she was, but I’m sure there are obsessive compulsive virgins out there who still wear her signature tennis line while jerking off. So l’ll put this out there for them…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

Tennis is the one sport I can handle watching because it is the televised sport closest to porn that I’ve found. I went into this yesterday and don’t think I have to really get into it again…just think grunts, panties, camel toe, sweat, grunts, faces of struggle and pain, ass, athleticism, heavy breathing, hard nipples and sometimes on women who don’t look like dudes. Some guys will always dig tennis playing pussy and I just happen to be one of them….

The only reason I watch female professional sports is when the girls in them are worth fucking. For the most part girl athletes are more masculine than I am, which isn’t saying much because I struggle taking out the garbage, but seeing their rippling muscles is too homo for me. There are a few female pro-athletes I’d like to watch have sex and Sharapova is one of them. Lookin’ at her in action, with the anguish and struggle in her facial expression makes me thing of one thing and one thing only and that one thing is her taking it up the ass. Enjoy.

Lookin’ at these pictures of Maria Sharapova make me think that the only reason everyone wants to fuck her happens while on the tennis court, because all the other chicks she plays against are bull dykes. I don’t find her as hot as I once did, because I guess I am easily influenced by the media too and it looks like she’s turned her visit to the Children’s Hospital to cheer up sick kids into some intro scene to a porno as her horny tennis vagina went straight for the surfer lookin’ backstreet boy and not for the pasty bald kid with Leukemia. I guess she’ll take frosted ratty Effron hair on a dude she know will jerk off to her as soon as his broken leg heals than some vomiting kid trying to play with blocks but not being able to muster up the energy to actually build anything cuz the chemo is just too hard on its little weak body. I’d say that at least she’s out there doing something good for the public, but it’s safe to say that she’s just thinkin’ with her cock, like the time I went to a car wash with my friend to support some High School graduation and slipped the girls an extra 25 dollars to do shit in their bikinis. I am sure they had a great graduation but I am sure it wasn’t as great as my car wash was.

I figure that a lot of you fuckers like sports because otherwise athletes wouldn’t be making millions of dollars. If the whole world worked the way I work, then strippers would be the main attraction at arenas and these bitches would be makin way more money than Hollywood Stars and people in sports combined, but I guess that doesn’t really matter to you.

What does matter is that as long as there is a sport that allows women to maintain some level of sex appeal, whether it be by not being bulky as fuck, whether it be by not being lesbionic as fuck, whether it be not having cocks taped to the inside of their legs because they are really dudes trying to excel like in every shitty cliche movie, then I am all for posting pictures of the girls involved bending over, showing their asses, wearing little tight shorts and rockin’ camel toe.

These are pictures of Sharapova, a girl you all want to throw a ball at, but you’re ball would be attached to your dick and your game would last a lot less that a normal match she’s used to because you have premature ejaculation issues and vaginas are like to forbidden fruit you’ve never seen so you’d get overwhelmed with the hole thing and blow it.

I snuck into the professional ladies tennis match that happens here every 2 years last year and I couldn’t really follow the game, their squeals distracted me, on my way out I say Sharapova in person, she’s really not that hot, sorry to break it to you, but she’s a pro athlete and she may look good compared to the people she is up against like the Williams sisters, but that’s like saying my gonorrhea discharge is sexy because it’s not herpes – ya heard?

So I don’t really watch sports ever because I am not a real man. I was asked if I was gay yesterday because i had my hand on a dude’s shoulder. I was drunk and trying to keep myself from falling but still didn’t take offense to the question. I know that real men don’t run sites like this because they are too busy doing construction but reality is that dudes don’t get me hard and never have. Unfortunately, either do women but that is because I have a medical problem, and I keep on trying.

In my life I never thought for a second that I was fag, I always was fascinated by pussy way too much, so much that I would rather watch a porn than watch a bunch of dudes in tights tackling each other. To me sports were pretty fuckin’ homo and even people who played sports were semi-homo too because to shower with a group of men while slapping their asses and thinking about gangbanging the cheerleaders never seemed 100 percent straight. So that said, I am okay with holding a dude’s shoulder, I am ok not watching sports and sticking to watching porn, I am okay with jocks thinking I am a pussy or a fag because I won’t shower with them but when sports become porn, I always make an effort to tune in…

These are some pictures from Wimbeldon of Girls Playing Tennis, and to me this shit is better than porno, bitches bend over, cry screams of pleasure like they are taking it up the ass, flash their tennis panties non-stop, tits flop everywhere, camel toes always happen, and that is why I like
spending my summers next to the local tennis courts…Enjoy.

I guess the shit I love about Pro Tennis though, is that all these Russian bitches dominate and I know they have cousins out there with a lot less broad shoulders and a lot less muscle mass that are totally mail order…and mail order brides are the new high school sweetheart. True Story.

Daniela Hantuchova

Maria Sharapova

Maria Kirilenko

Tatiana Golovin

I figure since you’re a bunch of lazy perverts, you’ll appreciate watching or looking at pictures of one of the hottest bitches in tennis training. You can look at her struggling with her ball, bending over, stretching and making forced faces that are similar to the faces she’d make banging you and pretend that she is banging you, because you are creepy….

I decided that I should become a stand up comedian because it’s a life that is designed for fat losers with nothing much to say but nonsense they come up with while sitting at home getting drunk alone in efforts to forget how much their lives suck.

The reason they think they have it in them to be stand up comedians is because their better looking friends always tell them that they are funny because there’s really not much else going for them and when trying to prevent your fat loser friend from killing themselves, you go for whatever it is you can to make them feel better about themselves.

The only real reason why their funny is because they are overcompensating for their inability to look good enough to fuck and some asshole told them that humor is the fastest way into a girls pants while forgetting to tell them that that only applies after all the good looking and successful guys are unavailable.

So stand up comedy is this who fucking pool of assholes who have this delusional idea of having what it takes.

Since I figure I fit the part, here are some jokes I wrote in efforts to live the fucking loser dream:

Maybe fag’s are into to you because you are an asshole

That’s pretty much all I’ve got….

I went to a random strip club with a friend of mine the other day that had the weirdest fucking thing on the menus. For 2 dollars you could get a plate of cheese and crackers, but I am not talking luxurious cheeses, I’m talking kraft singles on saltines. I can’t say no to the most ghetto meal in the fucking world because beggars like me take what we can get and I ended up spending my 20 dollar budget on 10 rounds of this shit…The highlight of the club wasn’t really the cheese though, it was the fact that the place was full service and bitches suck your dick in the booth for 40 dollars. I couldn’t test it out because I only found out about it after I spent my budget on their food menu, but at least I showed those whore that I was a baller with my 10 empty plates with 20 cheese slice plastic wrapping scattered around the table…

Speaking of cheese, here are some pics of Maria Sharapova stretching because girls in sports are usually disgusting and she’s the exception to the rule….

Bonus: While on Tennis here is a pic of Venus Williams proving that she’s like that movie “Ladybug” and really has a cock.