Mariah Carey was drunk, I wonder if it was from drinking too much or if her brain medication just had a weird reaction to what she ate, putting her into some kind of high that almost looks like she’s ready to be dragged by her fuckin’ hair to the alley behind the club and date raped, unfortunately, her celebrity status and the crowd it draws makes for a total fuckin’ cock block.

Pics via PacificCoastNews

I am all for disabilities, if anything being a gay amputee would be an asset in the gay world. Mainly because gays will bang anything they can get their dicks inside and really all homie needs is an asshole and he’s good to fuckin’ go. But also because gays are always into freakish fetish shit, from wearing assless pants in public to other shit sexual deviants hustle, because if they wanted Disney sex they’d be straight, married and have kids. They wouldn’t be jacked on coke, poppers, MDMA, Viagra and GHB at 7 am Saturday morning in a bath house fuckin’ and getting fucked by 12 dudes they don’t know…

I am not for fans singing along to their favorite song badly. Shit’s a pet peeve of mine. So homie should keep this act for Gay Karaoke and keep it off the internet, mainly because people are just going to pass this shit around laughing at the poor motherfucker who’s already been wronged by God and doesn’t need to draw more attention to himself, but also because he’s no good. Enjoy.

For those of you who really love dick but can’t admit it to yourself because of the implications it will have with your family, friends and even your co-workers because gay is still not something you’re willing to accept and prefer staying on the “Tranny Porn Fetish fence on, so you slowly satisfy your needs by dating ugly butch girls with facial hair, who you try to surprise with a sailor costume, or even a construction worker costume, or some other Village People shit, trying to play it off as being something fun and exciting to do and totally not sexual, until your plan goes to hell when you try to slip her into the strap-on dildo you’ve been holding onto for her to use on you for months, this one’s for you.

If you are wondering, it is Mariah Carey dressed on set of her new music video as a dude who had botox and a weak chin.

Here she is as a woman…..with some tits….

If you thought your bitch wife was high maintenance because she packed 5 pounds over the airline limit, or because it takes her an hour to get ready everytime you leave the fucking house, be happy she’s not a budding young starlet, or a weathered up diva, or even a bitch who thinks she’s fuckin’ Mariah Carey, because this level of work that goes into a trip to London pretty much disgusts me, seriously. It is just representative of everything that’s wrong in this superficial, materialistic, disgusting world, and maybe Mariah should be spending less money shipping her gear overseas and more money on liposuction cuz despite all the clothes, make-up, assistants and professionals, she’s still a fat pig.

To make things worse, she even has a hired black dude doing the dirty work, while a fat white guy watches, like some kind of racist plantation owner in the 1800s. Slave driving racist is what she is, half black or not, bitch forgot her fucking roots. Any self-respecting successful black person knows to hire a white man to be the fuckin’ slave, that’s the sweet smell of fucking success….

So if you’re wondering what the titties Eminem used as a public urinal, mainly because they have the same relationship with a lot of dick like a public urinal, you know one you’d find in a stadium, or bar, maybe with some stray pubic hair on it, or chewed up gum, or maybe even a used condom or a syringe if you’re in the crazy part of town, here is Mariah Carey in a see through shirt with her crazy tits….

On a sidenote I’ve pissed on girls before, but the best time was after a night of hard drinking and downing 6 vitamin C tablets because i felt a cold coming on. I somehow convinced my gf to let me piss in her face and I did and she took some of the darkest piss I’ve ever seen leave my body in her mouth before puking, it wasn’t hot and pretty much ended our relationship cuz I can’t respect a woman who lets a very convincing, dashing, charismatic, pretty much homeless fat man piss in her face….

Eminem’s recent cry of attention was saying he peed on Mariah and the whole thing isn’t that unexpected because around the time he was dating her she was crazy, not to mention celebrities are so fucked up because of all the money they have and all the attention they get on a daily basis, they push their sexual boundaries to the next level. I know random people who have fucked celebrities and they’ve all said the same thing, the requests were weird, involved piss and asshole licking request on the first date, and I’d probably do the same thing if I was one too. I mean I’m not even a celebrity and I ask bitches to do some next level weird shit, so I guess I shouldn’t judge Mariah on anyting other than the fact that she’s letting herself go and despite some big ol’ tits, she’s got a big ol’ everything else and there’s no excuse for that.

You can stop sending me this video. I have seen it. Eminem says he peed on Mariah Carey. His album drops in a few days. Statements about pissing on Mariah Carey tie in nicely with the album launch. I don’t really care either way, people like peeing on people and people like getting peed on, we shouldn’t make such a big deal about it, especially when it’s an obvious cry for attention, a “Look at Me Everyone” situation…like the time I told the local papers I Scatted out with Paris Hilton when she was in town, only no one listened to me, because I am not eminem….

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon celebrated their one year anniversary and by looking at the pics I gotta wonder what this is a one year anniversary for, I’m thinking since they decided to train to be professional eaters, but then again it could be for going on an all chocolate diet and I don’t mean that in some clever way cuz Nick Cannon is black, I mean it in the obesity kind of way….

Today is the only happiest day of the year for sex offenders and the kids they want to commit sex offenses on. They can dress up like something they always dreamed they could be like a superhero, a sports star, or whatever else people dress as all to run up to strange people’s houses asking for candy, or to be the strange person at the house who get parental consent to have some alone time with endless amounts of kids….without the police getting involved, unless of course they get carried away and masturbate during the process and not to the memories of it…..

I didn’t end up going out last night, I am just posting late cuz I am lazy and not because I drank til 10 am, because I realized it wasn’t actually Halloween and figured that since I hate people that overkill holidays, like I overkill jokes, you know getting dressed up days before the actual day, it just didn’t make sense for me to be not be one of them, unless of course, I wanted to get confusing and make my costume of a guy who dresses up for Halloween on days that aren’t Halloween, but that seems pretty fuckin’ confusing. I think I’m going with my DJ AM idea, where I douse myself in gasoline and when the clock strikes midnight, I light up and run through the dance floor, or maybe I’ll go as nothing because dressing up is lame….especially a day early….

Unfortunately, these people didn’t realize that Halloween is today and not yesterday. Probably because they have nothing better to do, since they are pretty irrelevant….

Here’s Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt as Horse Faced Whore with Fake Tits and Her Fake Latch on Fame Hungry Boyfriend…..unfortunately they didn’t go with the murder suicide I’ve been hoping to read about in the news….

Traci Bingham Dressed Like a Slutty Cop

Mariah Carey as a Slutty Fire Fighter

Looks like civil servants were the theme of the night, and I find that pretty offensive and a sign of famous people trying to use the media to get their politics across, you know because police and firefighters are a sign of the communism or socialism since they are paid out of people’s taxes money to keep the public safe and from breaking the law they created to control the public or from burning down like DJ AM….

Here’s some new Mariah Carey Video for you to listen to while you masturbate or sing along to when nobody is around, I am only posting it because she’s in a bikini and showing off her fat tits, and fat tits are pretty much the way to my heart. Another way to my heart is a lot of hard liquor. I decided to get drunk last night to celebrate your Independence Day and unfortunately didn’t lure girls back to my place for a hot tub party, mainly because I don’t have a hot tub and they weren’t down with standing in the shower while I through buckets of hot water on them, but I did stumble home and I realize that the drunker you get, the less you care about getting tits back to your house and the more you start caring about survival and just getting home alive.

It’s so typical that the half white girl would treat the all black husband as her fucking slave because white people are the devil. It makes things worse when you’re a younger dude and your wife is some kind of diva bitch who things the world works for her, making you the first officer in serving her cunt self.

These are pictures of Mariah Carey’s old weathered body beat up on set because she probably had to swim a lap, or throw a volleyball and now bitch is crying like she broke something because that’s why cunty spoiled brats do. The good news for her is that her bitch, fulltime personal assistant and husband is there to help her out, because it’s not like he’s got his own shit to do.

This job would be like winning the fuckin’ lottery after signing an agreement with the devil, taking you out of your poverty ridden shithole life, and bringing you to the life of luxury with the woman you lusted after when you were a teenager, and it all sounds pretty good, but within a year, you’ll be hanging from the rafters in your attic of your multi-million dollar home after killing youself because you just can’t take her shit anymore, so getting up into this shit when you’ve got your own money and hot younger bitches lined up is beyond me, but maybe Nick Cannon is a good little black kid who respects and serves his woman cuz his mom was an over-bearing Jesus freak in the projects.

I really don’t know, but I do know that his life with Mariah, despite all the superficial goodness seems like it’s just the worst job of his career and every minute of it fuckin’ sucks, even when jerking off to her while she’s asleep because she’s too tired doing nothing all day to put out.

Mariah Carey is in a Bikini in her new video. These are the pictures. I would write more, but what’s the fuckin’ point. Sometimes things just are what they are and the only thing we can laugh about is how much she looks like a character from Planet of the Apes or some shit.

So it turns out that Mariah Carey throws like a fag, but I guess that’s okay considering she’s one of those singing Diva bitches who is ridiculously high maintenance and as superficial, pretentious and obnoxious as a drag queen pretending to be a diva by overcompensating because it has a penis, so it’s kind of expected. What isn’t expected is that she didn’t make outrageous demands like to be carried onto the field by 15 men dressed like sailors where she is handed a diamond encrusted ball on a velvet pillow and solid pink gold baseball mitt before making her pitch in an evening gown. The only thing representative of her Diva high maintenance cunt ways are the heels, I guess marrying that dude’s really made her down to earth. and by down to earth I mean not throwing a tantrum because she got some dirt on her toes, which is a big step for this bitch as she lets down her black ancestors for not being athletic like the rest of them.

Mariah Carey is in Japan because that’s the only country that is crazy enough to care about her and they got her to throw some pitch at some baseball game. She was classy enough to show up in her Mariah track jacket and workout shorts while wearing her high heels because they are the only thing that makes her fat legs look thin. I guess the joke that is Mariah Care continues but on an international scale and I guess it doesn’t matter because I wouldn’t mind her and her weak chin throwing anything down for me, preferably my pants, because I have a useless set of balls I wouldn’t mind her singing to.

Here’s an exclusive that is probably not an exclusive anymore because I decided to drink last night instead of write about the release of Mariah’s new video because I have my priorities straight. Her fake husband who she decided to marry for publicity because that would be the only explanation for this joke of a stunt that threw both these fuckers into the media hard before the release of Nick Cannon’s show and Mariah’s album and it’s all proven with the fact that Nick Cannon re-gifted a ring. We all know that real girls wouldn’t accept that and despite wanting to save our money and recycle shit we bought previous sluts, we never would despite how poverty we are so why the fuck would he.

Either way, dude makes a cameo that isn’t as exciting as her cameo in a bikini. Her body looks tight and despite it being some kind of movie magic effect – I still like it enough to post it. Enjoy the boring song that I know you’ll continue to listen to when alone in your bedroom at night when you know your exgirlfriend is out on a date with her new dude, that is assuming you have an exgirlfriend which could be more of a stretch than this whole Mariah and Nick Cannon marriage.