I don’t really stay on top of celeb gossip…I just post the pictures and ramble on about the shit…but I do know that Mena Suvari, the Alien from American Pie and other movies…where she was all forehead…filed for divorce…I’m thinking cuz there’s a new American Pie movie coming out and this is all part of that campaign…or maybe it is cuz marriage sucks, doesn’t matter and she’s just realizing that trying to be suburban is boring, lame and closes the door on so much potential cock…

But like every good divorcee…she’s out showing off her mid 30 booty in a pair of workout pants…trying to get in shape but more importantly trying to get some male attention cuz she’s free….ready to fuck….available to fuck…and needs some re-assurance cuz we all know she’s not the spring chicken alien she once was…….

Every once in a while I like to look at pictures of bitches at events I wasn’t invited to because after 6 years of running a bullshit site about celebrities I hate, why would I get invited to Hollywood events like I was Perez Hilton….because I don’t matter and as far as I’m concerned, either do these bitches….but they think they do…and I guess that significant difference is what sets us apart..I mean that and the fact that you want to have sex with their tits, or at least see them naked….even if you may not know who any of them are…F-List….but more important than any of us….depressing to some…but all right to me…cuz I hate getting off the couch anyway….and wouldn’t attend their event if they paid me…so there…

Maria Canals

Abigail Spencer See Through

Kristin Cavalari

Mena Suvari

Julie Bowen

Here are some Mena Suvari pics for the alien forehead fetishists….because I know there is at least one motherfucker reading this who jerks off thinking about cumming on a girl’s forehead…who takes his fetish so seriously that he spends his unemployed cuz he is too weird to socialize like a normal person time searching for porn pussy with ample head….but I’m just posting this as an excuse to repost her shitty tits in a recent nude scene . I’m practical like that….you know I take a bad thing and make it better by stripping it down…even thought it’s still fucking bad…thanks to shitty genes…

I find Mena Suvari disgusting. If anything, I find her a fucking monster. I am so not into her that I wrote this post about her that was totally sci-fi and I’m scared of all things sci-fi, especially sci-fi fans…

But today is pretty fucking boring when it comes to celebrity nudity or other things that barely interest me but that I find myself writing about cuz I have nothing else going on.

So this clip of her useless tits in some sex scenes from some movie that may be from 2008 that just got released here called Garden of Eden, is pretty much the best the day has to offer….Enjoy the weirdness….

What the fuck is going on here? This is scaring the fuck out of me. I mean I’ve always joked around about this bitch’s alien forehead, but now I’m a fucking believer. It looks like she’s been gone the last few years reporting back to her home planet about the inner-workings of Earth, because their sun burnt out and they need to find a pod planet to takeover in order for their species to survive, explaining her lovely tan, but I was never into Sci-fi, I hate comic books, the whole thing depresses me and makes me uncomfortable, so you may have a better theory than me, I just know this is scary as fuck.

The fascinating thing about Mena Suvari is that she must be 40 years old by now, but she’s still got the upper body of a 12 year old and the ass of a stallion…wait…that sounded kinda gay…what I was trying to say is that her ass is all firm and round and amazing like it was when she hit puberty….and it is weird because when she was in the America Pie movies and she was put up against Tara Reid and Shannon Elizabeth I barely notcied her and the only reason I did was because of the way her alien-lookin’ forehead reflected the light blinded me and reminded me of a night a fell asleep on the train tracks and was rudely awaken by some cop shining his flashlight in my fucking face, before he beat the fuck out of me, but look at her now….

Lesbian haircut Mena Suvari doesn’t seem to be a lesbian anymore, at least that’s what she wants us to believe by over compensating with some dude on the beach by being all touchy feel with her public displays of affection. I would say rent a room but I never do that because I am more into watching like the creep that I am.

I don’t know how they do things on whatever planet she’s from, but I am hoping the next set of pictures have her on her knees with homies dick in her mouth, but I still have a feeling she doesn’t roll like that and by that I mean with penis, since dude looks like he’s putting on some shitty performance while she’s not having that and is just going along with it to get the girls she’s attracted to go back to her room with her. I think this pretty boy is just some kind of bait to get pussy in her mouth but then again I could be wrong, I was never a huge fan of fishing.

Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari rockin’ a thong bikini because she’s so hardcore that she doesn’t care if people see her in a thong. She is like every Russian person vacationing on the beaches of Vietnam who seem to love wearing the smallest bathing suits possible like it ain’t a thang when it definitely is a thang because they are fucking old, fat and disgusting. Maybe it’s a communist thing and they feel so liberated that they don’t have to wear rationed state-issued bathing suits and dress like their comrades so they get ridiculous, but I know it is the kind of ridiculous that makes vacationing at Russian hotspots an experience that will test your sexuality and leave you asexual for a little while before coming back and getting back to the porn you are used to.

I never thought Mena Suvari was much to look at, her wonky head brought back memories of retards walking down the street with helmets on holding a rope so none of them get lost and her body is a little too stacked making me think she’s either a lesbian or some kind of female body builder. She’s with some shaved head dude who probably has a penis so that theory is thrown into the lesbian filing cabinet, unless of course that is just a chick tanning topless with a shaved head who does the whole bull dyke, sexually ambiguous thing better than a plaid shirt/construction boot, crew cut wearing fat dyke I’ve seen, because lets face it, based on his stance he looks like the kind of asshole who spends more time in front of a mirror making sure his Tattoos show off through the collar and sleeves of his shirt just right and that his sunglasses are on just right before leaving the house, something an average dude with a normal dude wouldn’t bother with, unless he was going through some kind of sexually identity crisis. That’s just my theory but I have been wrong before…in fact, I am pretty much always wrong.

So Mena Suvari is a lesbian and this is her tattoo…it says Word, Sound and Power, in the event you don’t know how to read, which is pretty fucking possible considering the shit I attract to this site. Now for those of you who don’t know, Word, Sound and Power was some Reggae band in the 70s/80s and there was a movie about them that played at all art-house movie theaters in the 80s. I watched a documentary on the late night feature and this one was almost as popular as Rocky Horror Picture show. I guess it changed Mena Suvari’s life or some shit because she got it permanently branded on her back. Who knows, maybe they paid her to do it for the DVD release or some shit.

This is a lot like the time I convinced a whore I was fucking and who actually fell in love with me because whores turn out to be pretty vulnerable and always fall for the first guy who doesn’t ask them to insert things in their assholes, to tattoo my name on her pussy mound, knowing I was going to dump her a few weeks later, but just because I thought it was only fair to brand myself on her for life, like she branded me for live with the herpes virus. I also figured that I could become a local legend by using her pussy as a marketing tool, like some kind of billboard that all the Johns she’d later end up fucking for money would askwho this “Jesus Martinez” motherfucker on her pussy mound was leading her to tell the story of how I broke her heart and was the one who got away….

I guess Mena Suvari’s tattoo is not really like that story at all, and more like you getting your favorite band branded on you for life because their songs move you so much, only difference is that Mena Suvari’s getting pussy in all this and you’re not….

I was trying to deny that Mena Suvari was a dyke, not because I think she’s hot and want to give her my cock, but because I don’t think lesbian haircuts mean lesbianism, but that was before I saw her tattoo of a lion, because once a bitch gets a king of the jungle cat tattooed on her you know she’s pretty much coming out of the closet, because everyone knows that cats represent cunt and lion’s represent “Super” cunt . True story.

Ok, so I am not good at telling jokes, maybe you should just go back to watching porn and I should go back to eating because I realize that writing this shit bites into valuable eating time and I also realized that when you watch porn, you’re actually getting off to the dick. Homo.

These pictures are of Mena Suvari at the Toronto Film Fest premiere of some movie called “Stuck”.

Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari and her lesbian haircut jogging in some kind of sportsbra showing off her little tits and a pair of tight pants showing off her ass, but you don’t need me to tell you that, you have eyes and can see the pictures yourself so fuck off.

The most interesting thing about these pictures are her gangster stance, with her one legged rolled up but I don’t even know if people dress like that anymore becuase I haven’t been to the suburbs in a long time. The suburbs give me anxiety, the only thing to find there are some twilight-zone style houses that all look the fucking same, happy on the outside families that have their dirty little secrets of the wife fucking the tennis coach or the husband fucking the neighbors wife or the babysitter in attempts to add some kind of excitement to their boring lives, and a bunch of punk kids dressed like 50 cent, mugging old ladies to be gangster and tagging up the schoolyard like they lived in some big city and were hip hop…these are the motherfuckers who get girls teenage pregnant, they do acid to kill the boredom and as interesting as that sounds, I don’t step foot in the place….so saying Mena Suvari is a lesbian gangsta may not be accurate but to say she’s got a lesbian haircut and is built like a fucking tank isn’t….

Here are some more pictures of Mena Suvari in a bikini top because she likes to spend time on the beach and I like to post pictures of girls on the beach, because that is what my life has come to….

I am not going to say bitch is a dyke now that she’s shaved off all her head and bleached it blond, because I don’t think a shaved head makes a girl a lesbian, it just makes her look like one and that’s not enough proof for me to make fun of that.

I will say that I do have a thing for lesbians, not the lipstick kind who are basically hot girls that become even hotter because they don’t let dudes up in them and because they hate men so much they won’t even acknowledge our presence. I am into the full fledge hormonally masculine lesbians that sit around in their cargo pants and combat boots waiting to go shop for organic vegetables or to beat the fuck out of any man they see objectify a woman by ripping off their dicks and feeding it to them. The reason I like those kind of lesbians is because they hate guys like me and I guess you always like what you can’t have, like a lesbian friend to teach you how to bench press properly or how to tie that flannel shirt around your overalls so that you look mean….

The only real lesbian contact I ever had was in the 90s when every girl I dated got fed up with me after about a month and since I poorly represented men, then all turned dyke. For a while I was convinced that it was a curse I had. That I was such a bad fuck that they were turned off of men for life, so I just ran with that and used it as a pick-up line. I’d tell girls in bars that I had the power of turning them dyke and they found it so funny that they ended up taking me up on it to see if I really was as bad as I said I was….I never disappoint so I added more women to the lesbian population than all the dads who molested their daughters growing up and for that I’d like some kind of recognition on International Lesbian day….

The first time I was into girls with a shaved head was when I was about 14 and I met this girl with Alopecia. The thought of her never having any body hair just really got me going on and trying on all her wigs made for a good time.

The second time I was into girls with no hair was when I was about 16 and a girl I was friends with got cancer and thought she was going to die. As part of the process of not wanting to die a virgin, he weak frail, chemotherapy-ridden body came to me for help. Not because I was someone people wanted to fuck but because I was someone who would fuck someone with cancer. I am sure the whole experience was humiliating and we ended up getting caught by the staff at the hospital and it lead to me being admitted to some psych ward for a while, but I’ve blocked it out of my memory. She lived and I like to think it was my gift of life that helped her through it, or that my dick cured cancer but it was probably her need to get past the cancer, grow some motherfucking hair back and find a real guy who could please her, but I guess my poor performance played a part in curing cancer and that is good enough for me!!!

The third time I was into girls with no hair was a long time after the cancer sex, was many years later, well after I blocked out the whole chemo experience and it was while working at the porn company and seeing some slut with a shaved head get a load dumped all over her bald head, and I knew it was something I needed to do, so I spent months looking for someone to fill the part, I even offered whores some money to shave their heads for my needs, but they weren’t to into the 50 dollars I managed to save up from collecting cans and would only do it for 1000 which was out of my budget for cumming on a sluts head.

I was tempted to go back to the cancer ward, I was tempted to shave girls heads in their sleep like my weird friend whose mother used to make him brush her hair every night, but eventually I just got over the whole thing…..

Here are some pictures of Mena Suvari, in a bikini, with her shaved head that I would cum all over if I wasn’t impotent, not because she’s hot, but just based on principle. I guess the real interesting thing in all this is that when Britney shaves her head she’s having some kind of meltdown and when this bitch does it no one cares….I guess that probably doesn’t help Mena Suvari’s cry for help so much does it. She was probably sitting at home, realizing that her career was garbage and was looking for a way to sort it out, saw Britney on the news and was like “I know I’ll shave my head”, only no one even noticed…..Shed a tear for this girl, then rub one out….it’s what she wants you to do.

I have a feeling that these bikini pictures of Mena Suvari are old, but I know that they are new to the site because I checked my archives for once. I don’t really keep track of all the bikini pictures I see anymore because my brain is over-saturated and they all look the fucking same. I have a feeling that I have seen so many girls in bikinis that if I was to go to the beach, I will have sworn that I had already seen half those girls rockin’ the same bathing suit before. It’s not because I can predict the future, but because I think in bikini now. When people ask me questions about anything, my brain goes directly to all the bikini pictures I’ve seen before being able to answer them. The internet may have made me socially awkward, but all these bikini pics have made me stupid. People say you can’t get too much of a good thing, I think you can. I have a few friends who have died from drug overdoses. I know a few people who went broke because of hookers. I know a guy who ate so much chocolate cake that he ended up having a heart attack at 30 and this one dude I knew loved unprotected sex so much that he got 4 girls pregnant at the same time and one of them gave him STDs. But since my life has little meaning, posting more bikini pictures, although making me look like a desperate loser who can’t meet real girls so I turn to the Internet to get any sort of impotent action, probably won’t kill me, but your chronic masturbation to girls with big foreheads in skimpy shit on the beach will. At least that’s the story I heard.

Here’s a little Mena Suvari topless beach action, if showing off your nipple constitutes being a topless beach. I mean in all reality I fills a bra better than she does. I am convinced that if I went to the local public pool they would ask me to keep my shirt on as to not scare the kids, but I will never know because going to the public pool is something I will never do.

Anyway, I am a fan of small tits, my friend was telling me that he finds small tits sexier because it’s hard to find a set of big tits that fall properly. Most girls with big tits have fat tits and fat tits come with a fat tits and fat tits have nipples that aim to the ground, where small tits usually come with a tight upper body, a hot little ass and nice perky nips that aim to the sky…unless you get those freaky fat girls with no tits that make no sense to me or to science because for some reason they can pack on their burger king weight every square inch of their 300 LBS body, but she can’t break past her A cup.

All this to say that Mena Suvari, topless or not, dates half black dudes and still kinda looks like the alien she played in American Pie. I can’t fucking handle her lesbian gym teacher shorts, not because I am a fag and care about what a bitch is wearing, but because those are the kinda shorts you find on Mountaineering bitches in canoes who don’t shave their cunts. I’d still bang her, but I have no standards and I’d be doing it in attempts to get to some red carpet events or the Teen Choice Awards, because she may not have a career or a name but she’s got more hook-ups than me and the Teen Choice Awards is kind of a dream… It’s Sunday and I really delivered the goods this weekend, I should be famous by now and you should thank me, but you won’t so fuck you.