Penelope Cruz really fucked us on this PETA campaign…she’s supposed to get naked for fur, not give fur the cold shoulder…what a fucking rip off…but the good news is that she’s recently had a kid and isn’t the big bird nosed Penelope Cruz she once was….making these non nude pics of her not getting naked for fur a nice gesture on PETA’s part…but then again, I’m into seeing all bitches naked…and not strategic naked that’s like they aren’t even naked….I’m talking fully spread eagled and ready for entry….
Here s a compilation of her nude scenes that brought her from Spain to America to make up for PETA’s Fail….
Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz in a dress post pregnancy.
I always thought she was kind of erotic except for her nose..you know all European accent and hot body and shit…but now you can add mom pussy and baby weight to those strikes against her….however she kinda redeemed herself when getting married in July, just 6 months prior to her birth, in what most haven’t called out as a shotgun wedding, cuz they were all distracted by wondering why the fuck they cared that two Spanish actors who made it in Hollywood were getting married…and I fucking love shotgun weddings….they remind me of white trash teen pregnancy from the deep south in the 60s, a fetish of mine, but more importantly they remind me there was a 3 month windo where they contemplated getting an aboriton…
Either way, these pics would be much better with more LABIA….God knows that since he birth she’s got some to spare…
Pirated tits is way better than pirated music, movies, and software. I never found Penelope Cruz to be anything special, maybe it is cuz her nose could double as back-up sail on the Pirate Ship after getting shot by a cannon, or maybe its cuz I’m racist against Spanish people….or maybe I just like my bitches to be closer to 18 than 45…who really knows, but here is her cleavage anyway, even though we’re more into booty…..(embarrassingly bad joke if I was the kind of motherfucker who got embarrassed, while I’m just the motherfucker trying to get pictures of celebs I don’t give a fuck about up)
When I saw these pictures of Penelope Cruz on her knees after paying Hollywood to validate herself as a key player, you know cuz her Oscar and millions of dollar per role wasn’t enough for her vain, self absorbed ass, by buying herself a fucking star on the walk of fame….and I figure this means so much to her because like a book ending, her on her knees is how she started her shit….at least that’s usually the case…FOLLOW ME
Pregnancy generally disgusts me. You know the idea of a woman’s body being destroyed for the sake of letting some creature grow inside them to carry on their genetics in some vain weird way. You know the worst STD around….
But there are perks…at least when the kid isn’t yours….the main one being that pregnant bitches can’t get knocked up by you when you’re fucking them cuz they are horny and their husbands don’t want to touch them for fear of hurting the baby….but also the new milk filled tits that give the husband who hasn’t fucked in months something to distract him from the sloppy ripped apart vagina his woman is left with…you know allowing him to feel like he’s with a new doughier woman for the first few months of the pregnancy…usually while she’s passed out from exhaustion…but it quickly loses it’s appeal…and in Penelope Cruz’s case…that hasn’t happened yet…since these are pretty much the first post-pregnancy pics I’ve bothered noticing…and them tits be delicious and nutritious…
And that’s all I have to say about pregancy for now…
Girls with big noses are usually scary, monster looking bitches who can’t suck my dick proper because my dick’s so small that I had to ask the doctor if it was actually a dick.
They only get the tip in their mouth before bumpin against my pubic wall, embarrassing all parties involved, except me, because I have no shame. I just spin it on them having the birth defect and not me, even if I know that’s not entirely true, but unlike Tiger Woods, I don’t admit to my shortcomings, I spin them in a way that I come out on top and bitch ends up stripping to save up enough money to get a nose job….
Penelope Cruz on the other hand, is hot despite the big nose that may be physically unable to suck my dick, because that doesn’t matter, as we’ll never have to cross that road….
Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz showing off her pretty hot ass while doin’ a little prostate tickle on the beach with her man because I guess she’s Spanish and a little more sexually liberated than your wife who you secretly want to get ass play from but you’re too scared your going to like it and go gay, cuz only fags like ass play, even though it’s scientifically proven to feel good.
Either way, she’s the only big nosed girl I find attractive cuz big noses are ugly. I’ve had my fair share of big nosed girls and it’s always ended in disaster, cuz when I try to shove my dick down their throats, I just get nose against my pelvis and the whole thing is a fucking disaster, but I guess you can only blame my small dick for that and the nice thing about Penelope Cruz is that she has worked a way around that by pullin’ out other tricks and here she is on the beach…
Since I don’t own a TV and don’t really like spending the little money I have on going to the movies, I am really not too up to speed on what’s new and what Penelope Cruz is doing with her career, especially when the shit is foreign, but I do know that whatever this fucking movie is, Penelope Cruz was topless in it and her small perky tits are nice to look at in any language, just as long as the sun isn’t behind her so that her big stupid nose she should get operated on doesn’t casts a shadow and black out her tits….
Here are the clips….
There was another topless chick in the movie, her name was Kira Miro and these are her tits….
I used to fight with this chick I was fucking about whether she was good looking or not, because she definitely wasn’t but she thought she was because a whole lot of dudes would tell her she was, when they were drunk.
I used to say that nothing on her was attractive, she had a wonky face, a shitty body, uneven tits, a meaty pussy and a flat ass, short legs, long torso, rash on her inner thigh, port wine stain down her back, a cancerous lookin’ lesion, acne scars, greasy hair even after she showered, two different colored eyes, and was missing a tooth, but she wasn’t fat and sometimes I guess that’s good enough, I mean it was good enough for me and all those drunk dudes who would try to get her home with them….
That said, if you were to meet Penelope Cruz’s nose, without the rest of her attached, you’d think shit this is one disgusting nose, and if she wasn’t Penelope Cruz, I’d be the kind of guy who wouldn’t be able to focus on anything but her nose, because it is so far from perfect. It’s like I’d stare at that shit when we eat, when we drink, when we fuck and when we sleep. I’d stare at it when we were at movies, and out tap dancing, it would take over my fucking life, but I guess for the rest of the world, they focus on the good and not that bad and they don’t judge a woman based on her imperfections, they focus on the entire package and personality, pretty much because they take whatever they can get and pretend to be happy with it, where as I take what I can get, and stay miserable with it…
Another one bites the dust….RIP Penelope Cruz’s sex appeal cuz bitch is reportedly knocked the fuck up. It happens to the best of them, I mean she’s just being a woman. We can’t really hate her, especailly when her nose was so fucking big, it was almost hard to love her, so if anything it all makes sense.
I don’t know what this stage show is all about, but I do know I like it. Sure bitch has a big ol’ nose that kinda fucks with my head and I am sure fucks with any dude she’s giving head to, you know trying to get your dick deep throated with that shit poking into your pelvis is fuckin’ annoying and not fully attractive, but she manages to pull it off and that’s all that matters. Maybe I’m just being nice becuase she’s got no pants on.
That said, I met some radom cute girl and I got to talking to her. She told me she just got back from some Russia circus she was touring with, now I know you don’t know me, but if you want to get me excited, all you have to fuckin’ say to me is circus. Anyway, I got excited and got to asking her about what she did in the circus, you know since it’s a magical fuckin place and she could be anything from the person who picks up the elephant shit to the fuckin’ contortionist who can eat herself out.
It turns out she’s a fuckin’ acrobat, so instead of seducing her, I decided to ask her if she ever considered doing porn because I feel her skills would come in handy, and that pretty much concluded that future love affair.
The funny thing about Penelope Cruz is that she is an inspiration to big nosed girls everywhere. All girls with dark hair use her as a reference or justification why they keep their big noses. They reference her as their celebrity look-a-like and she brings them a level of confidence that they need to leave their house without a scarf over their faces. The truth is Penelope Cruz does pull off the big nose, but from my experience, the big nosed girls who I have met and who think she’s the idea woman don’t, and that’s why I randomly email before and after nose job pictures from fake emails to passive aggressively get my point across, because pointing and laughing at big nose jokes hasn’t been all that effective
Speaking of big noses, I was just getting a coffee from my local arab coffee shop and for those of you who don’t know Montreal, there are a lot of Jews here. Pretty much 90 percent of people who speak English are Jewish and ever since these arabs took over the coffee shop a year or two ago, I’ve noticed a steady decline in traffic.
It’s worked for me because there are no lines or crowds to spark my social anxiety and panic attacks I get when I am sober, but unfortunately the arabs are cheaper than the previous owners who used to give me coffee for free and now I have to pay retail. It doesn’t really bother me that much, it’s a fucking coffee and I’ve consistently been stealing a couple of dollars from my wife everyday for the last decade without her noticing, but that’s not the point.
Today, I walked in and saw the manager was wearing a Free Palestine pin. I took him aside and told him that I’m not an expert, I am not Jewish or Arab and don’t know their issues, I also don’t know business or claim to know his business, but there’s a lot of Jews who already stopped buying from him because they think that for every coffee they buy, some of the money goes back to fund his militia at home and that he may want to lay low on advertising his stance fact with propaganda on plastered on his fuckin’ shirt, if he wants to stay in business. Instead of thanking me for my advice, he just passionately told me he hates jews and doesn’t want them around and now he hates me too and to get the fuck out of his store and I did before he suicide bombed the place….I’m am not ready to die for a fuckin’ coffee or cause I don’t care about…
I am all about spanish chicks. I don’t know why but I think it’s gotta do with fear. They are passionate people and when you wrong them they go fucking crazy and I guess the whole getting stabbed in my sleep for trying to get another girl to show me her tits makes me feel really loved because I would never kill anyone for anyone, I just don’t care enough about anyone to bother, but knowing that a girl is willing to go psycho for me is makes my heart go pitter-patter.
I met a hot Spanish girl last night who knew about the site. It was a bit of an ego boost because I didn’t realize anyone actually read this shit and I was right, she landed on it by accident and never re-visited, but she still remembered the name and that kinda gives me a boner because it means more hot girls are out there and hopefully they are a little sluttier than this one because she was too busy being hot to let me convince her to show me her vagina. In all reality I was scared to ask because she’s Spanish and I didn’t want to get stabbed…..but I did make her whisper sweet nothings in her native tongue, unfortunately not the kind of tonguing I’m into….
Here are some Penelope Cruz using her tongue in her bikini with some boyfriend.
Here are some pictures of Penelope Cruz’s family on the beach somewhere without Penelope Cruz. I have posted about her sister Monica Cruz before, she’s sin the thong, but I have no idea who the topless chick is. The message board I steal my pictures from say that it’s her cousin and it doesn’t really matter who she is, all that matters is that she is living the life, sitting on the beach all thanks to Penelope’s hard work. I guess this is a lot like when they were living in Spain as kids and they’d sit at home all day and send Penelope off to mow lawns, clean houses, work at the local cafe so that when she got home they could steal her paycheck and buy themselves ice cream.
Reality is that I don’t care how she’s related to Penelope Cruz because I just like topless beaches and would post that shit whether bitch was famous or not. I have this fantasy of grandeur, living the life with an above ground pool and a backyard where my stepdaughter and her friends will tan topless while I just sit back and drink beer. All the 18-20 year old hot girls will come over to take advantage of the only pool in the ghetto and I will be a happy fucking man….
I guess the point of this post is that the cousin’s tits are uneven and there’s nothing sexier than bringing a bitch home, taking off her bra to find that shit was being balanced out with a pair of socks and you’re really dealing with some one tit bigger than the other shit that is a lot like driving with a flat tire.
