Yesterday there was a story of Shakira surviving a Sea Lion attack…resting and covered in bruises…after escaping death like the action figure she is….and today we have Shakira on the beach….proving yet again that celebrity gossip is a pile of shit…but it’s almost tolerable when the celebs are half naked….cuz good or bad looking……half naked is always good….

The again…these could be old pics…and I could have my time line all fucked up and these are just the trials and tribulations of a job that isn’t a job….it’s such hard work for something that doesn’t fucking matter..

I don’t know what Shakira was winning awards or presenting…and I’m too lazy to look it up…because I am only paying attention since she’s wearing a tight dress, showing off her “small, humble, but can move mountain”-Shakira, tits and the ass she likes to parade around like some kind of south american show girl booty dancing at Carnivale, cuz that South American angle is her hook….making you wonder what drug cartel her father, boyfriend, or Colombian management team was a part of to help her infiltrate the modern world with her songs….because I could use some of that Yay….it’ll likely get me laid…you know since girls love free coke…and will trade their vaginas for it more than you probably know…making that 40 dollar investment can save you 200 dollars on escort fees…not that has anything to do with this whore….but she gets enough attention…it’s time for local cokewhores everywhere to shine….

I don’t think Shakira is as interesting, or amazing, or hot as all the perverts on Youtube….but I have POSTED ON HER ENOUGH to appreciate her ass shaking in video as much as I appreciate any bitch who makes ass shaking videos that go viral…whether hot, tight and South American….or big fat and black…shit always makes me happy….even when I go to strippers and I see the young bitches practicing their ass shaking in hopes of one day being a pro ass shaker I laugh to myself….cuz ass shaking is what life is fucking made of, too bad we’re all going to die this upcoming year…RIP us.

Here is Youtube sensation and International Popstar Shakira…pushing 40 and shaking her Colombian ass, because like Sofia Vergara, cocaine money, or at least the pure Colombian got her where she needed to be…a place where shaking her ass to irritating sounding music on youtube would generate 100,000,000 views….cuz shaking ass is always fun to watch…especially when she was an International popstar….not that it matters…

She was in concert in Madrid…in a variety of outfits…none all that hot…but I don’t care….she’s squatting and I love seeing bitches squat so I’m posting it anyway….

These pictures prove to me on thing and that is that Shakira should stick to being dolled up in videos shaking her ass in a if you take the bitch out of the kitchen, eventually she’s gonna wanna vote….Not that I know what that means, I was trying to get at that sometimes things don’t translate the way you’d want them to as a man who likes the idea of jerking off to her…because the hard truth that she’s older, not so hot, and that drug money paid for this, gets in the way of that….

I don’t know if it is the popularity of Soccer, or the popularity of the way she shakes her ass, but that EXPLOITATIVE SONG ABOUT AFRICA got 400 million views….far more impressive performance than this rolling around on the ground shit she’s pulling in these pics..

Shakira Shakira reminds of a bitch who can shake her ass on youtube as she exploits her south american roots to make American trash feel cultured and open to new worlds…as long as those worlds involve serious ass gyrating…which is really all I care about when it comes to other cultures…fuck the food, music, it’s all about the women…and I blame National Geographic for that cuz in the 80s, those tribal pics were all I was able to jerk off to….

Here are some pics of her legs, crossed and ready to be uncrossed, but the paparazzi didn’t get the basic instint shot…what a waste.

Shakira is fucking annoying. She’s so intense in her performances that I can’t imagine her being legit, or I don’t want her to be legit and actual behave like this, because that shit just scares me and I’d hate to experience her convulsing and experimental, possessed by a demon behavior anywhere but on stage, because I’ve crossed the street, left bars and public bathrooms, over people who have moved and acted as unstable as like this in everyday life…

I am convinced she’s just trying to make people think she’s an artist, and really with a body like that, she can move and shake all she fucking wants, cuz lookin at it is worth the weirdness. There’s a reason she’s number one in youtube for ass shaking.

Here she is performing Friday at the Rock in Rio music experience.

Fuck Shakira and her most viewed video on the internet. I think her 35 year old ass is boring as fuck…I mean until it starts gyrating in some hispanic/latino/amazingness….and the whole thing reminds me of last night in my regular crackhead park cuz they had a Latino fest and I saw pregnant chicks, obese chicks, young chicks and old chicks of all colors and shaking their asses in ways I didn’t understand but knew I liked despite how vile some of the bitches were…it was like I was seduced by the shit…imagining how it looks when it fucks….and unfortunately, I didn’t get to fuck one of them…I got too drunk to take advantage of the port-o-potty of seduction….

Either way, here’s Shakira in concert, ass in tights, doin’ alright in these almost romantic ass pics of the bitch…

I don’t know about this Shakira character. It’s like she hit America out of no where a decade ago and never fucking left. She has instead tormented our men with her ass shaking in video, I’m talking a serious lack of productivity must have happened when that last one dropped and had over 100,000,000 views, making her a bigger Colombian threat to our resources than cocaine smuggling.

That’s why I want to start a campaign called “Send Shakira back, she’s old and washed up anyway”…..because let’s face it…body you want to fuck or not, she’s pushing 40….and here she is photoshopped in a one piece to start the campaign off properly….by getting no supporters…leaving me alone and crazy sounding in the corner….

On a sidenote I bought a burger from a black girl named Chakira yesterday….

Shakira performed at some low level event recently and who really gives a fuck….Someone needs to teach this bitch a little “How To Make It In America” cuz I don’t like how easy her transition from Colombia was. She must of known pretty powerful drug runners, who sold to pretty powerful entertainment people, cuz American Dreams she’s living don’t happen without serious corruption and nudity….

I’m just tired of seeing her one trick, even if that one trick is an ass shake…I’ve been to stripclubs regularly and seeing the same routine from the same bitch, over and over again, fucking sucks…and that’s when the bitch is naked…so you can imagine how I feel about this pictures…if you really want to take the time to care about me…I think you should…it makes me feel loved…and less of the shell of a man I am….

But her backup dancer I could get used to watching pop, lock and booty shake….Give her her time to shine you hog.

I find Shakira boring as fuck. I know her videos get everyone going nuts. But this isn’t video and her irritating immigrant voice and the horrible sounds she makes reminds me of bad sex with weird hippie bitches channeling some hindu god they feel they are connecting with cuz a dude is digging past their bush and obesity and playing with their cunt that never gets played with.

You know those wack jobs who moan like a donkey being impregnated with a pig while bored on the farm, just serious painful to listen to, but you erection is a magical tool that can block out background sounds…..

Here is her older ass in concert.

I am sure this video will be substantially better than these pictures of her shooting the video…because Shakira, despite being old, has this thing about her where she shakes her fucking ass hard enough to get millions of hits….but I’ll post these as a preview for your Shakira fans, even though I am not one, cuz I am hungover and totally uninterested in anything…

Everyone loves watching Skakira shake her ass in music videos like some gyrating clown at the Colombian coked up circus, but I wonder if people give a fuck about her leaving her hotel in leggings that show off her short legs and that don’t show off her spic booty or spic dick shaped clit or spic shitty tits. I guess we’ll find out.

That’s all I have to say about that.

People like Shakira. Her videos get a lot of views. It’s cuz she milks her South American roots and dances erotic and shakes her immigrant ass like she’s not pushing 40…cuz guys base how a girl fucks on the way she moves….so guys can watch her in motion and think how good that would feel on their dicks…and girls want to learn her moves so when they are in clubs guys will look at them and think the same thing about them…cuz no girl wants to be a bad dancer cuz everyone knows that theory on fucking like you dance…that I am not sure if it is true or not cuz I have a bad memory, but kinda remember banging a professionally trained dancer and thinking how great it was, but then again, she was into licking my ass and taking facials after I fucked her ass, while she went off about how she was a dirty little girl who daddy needs to spank and about how bad she needed to be sucking on a pussy while cumming on my dick….so I’m not quite sure it had anything to do with dance, but all to do with willingness to be dirty…

Here’s Shakira.

Bonus – Beth Ditto was there to make the Event extra sexy in what looks like it could be a see through, too small for her, yet big enough to cover your car in the winter, dress….if you think really fat pig lesbians who wear revealing clothes is sexy…cuz you have an overreating fetish…or because you know fat pussy is the only pussy you can get….

I’ve been a big fan of Dizzee Rascal’s music for at least 10 years. I have never been a fan of Shakira’s music, she makes this stupid sounding voice that makes me feel like I’m watching a cartoon or some shit…I haven’t even really been a fan of her look, I find it irritating and if I’m gonna lust over a Spic bitch, she’s gonna look like a Spic bitch and not a trying to be white cuz it makes her money bitch…but she does do slutty dance and everyone goes crazy for her moves so here’s her new video for you to jerk off to, cuz helping you jerk off is the gayest shit I’ve done all day.