I was hanging with a black guy the other day and all he kept talking about was how he hates fucking black girls and that Shakira is perfection. It got weird when he started demonstrating her dance to show just how amazing this slut is and I guess any big ass white girl with blonde hair who knows how to jiggle would be perfection to every single black dude in the world, and a whole lot of other dudes…
SO despite Shakira being older, thicker, boring, still flat chested, here she is getting down in her new music video for my new scary friend who really liked her way too much, and the other 100,000,000 people who watched her last video….even if I find the shit kinda dull….it’s still worth checking out…
I don’t know what is going on here – but I assume it’s some kind of photoshoot or video shoot….that I’d say Shakira was too old for…you know half naked ballet, that shit is for 8 year old rich kids and not South American trash that pollutes our music charts and music television and youtube with videos of her having sex with the air that millions of people masturbate too making her appear to be bigger than fucking god…but realize that half naked ballet is in fact not for 8 year olds and the only reason I thought that it was is because of this weird dude I met in the park who tried opening a ballet school and who shortly got arrested because he tried to make it half naked with 8 year olds…
So Shakira may be old, tired and boring as fuck to some, but she is one of these popstars bitches you want to fuck to most, and it doesn’t happen often that one of those is showing off her flexibility in a small and humble tits in a bikini top…so you don’t confuse them for mountains….
These pictures of Shakira whoring out in Spain could have been a lot more interesting…not that I really find Shakira all that interesting, partially because her breasts are small and humble, but mainly because she’s old and I hate that she’s bullshit, you see as an immigrant, she should be working the camera a little harder, she goes to the trouble in her music videos to pretty much fuck the air in weird spanish dance she exploits for attention, but doesn’t bring it when it comes to the paparazzi pics, when she should be taking whatever she can get, you know not teasing with a bikini top peaking out of her shirt, that makes me feel virginal and lame for noticing, but by teasing by fucking the air everywhere she fucking goes. She has an image to maintain…and this tame shit isn’t it. I am mad.
Shakira’s last video was masturbated to everywhere. Seriously, it had so many views on Youtube that there was no way a gang of fucking perverts didn’t have shit on repeat. I think more people saw that video than are actually on the interent daily, it’s lik every Internet user saw the shit 18 times and that’s just not fucking normal, so I can assume that since she’s slutted out to get our attention again after years of being off the radar and already having us hooked, her next video will be some romantic bullshit for the girls to jerk off to, cuz girls look for different things in their masturbation, like emotion, while all I want is to see her South American booty bounce….and she’s already done that….
Either way, here’s a still from the shoot with Rafael Nadal. He plays tennis and I am not even sure that’s Shakira….but they say it is so let’s just pretend….
Shakira needs to invest a little of her Columbian coke money into her costume department. She’s been wearing this discoball tight dress too fucking much and I know hookers, like real low level hookers who don’t have a home who have more outfits than this and wouldn’t be caught dead wearing the same dress every fucking day, unfortunatley for their John’s panties are a whole other story for them though….but that’s not the point, the point is that I’m tired of lookin up her skirt to see a metalic pair of American Apparel shorts like I was at a 16 year old Halloween party, when the girls are dipping their toes into being total whores, but aren’t fully prepared to take the plunge into letting random men see their bare or thonged ass, making this whole outfit a fucking fail on all fucking levels….and here are the pics for you to live out the disappointment of this gutter repeatitive trash with me.
Here’s a video someone shot of Shakira from up close at the lighting of the tree in New York last night. She’s singing Santa Baby, probably the most erotic Christmas Carol because she’s an immigrant whore and as an immigrant whore the only way to get ahead is to use her sex appeal, or whatever she has left of it, because people don’t realize that she’s pushing 40. I think she may have confused the American concept of Santa, cuz the last fat guy with a white beard and a red suit named Santiego was a coke dealer she used to date as a teen growin up in Columbia, cuz he’d buy her everything she wanted…
Either way, I figure if you look close enough you can see her pussy definition, maybe a little ass cheek, definite rockin’ the mic like the cock she used to sing into as she was comin’ up early on in her career and conveniently her midget legs are cut out of the frame making her as close to perfection as she gets…
I think Shakira has lost her appeal in a big way, but that doesn’t mean she has. If you do a Youtube search, you’ll see that people still masturbate to her, at least I assume they do, because the only reason a video would get that many views is because a few motherfuckers spent at least a week goin back to that video for their orgasms.
I know that Shakira is cheating in this outfit by sneaking a pair of gold American Apparel shorts on under her dress so that she’s not flashing the world her panty covered twat, and I find the whole thing a serious fucking disappointment. As an immigrant in the industry, she should go that extra mile to make her stand out amongst the rest, for fear that she’d be sent back to cleaning hotel rooms or whatever else Columbian illegals do when they sneak into the country.
I also know that if the way she is rocking the mic is representing that way she gives head, you may want to tape your dick down, or she may just pull the fucking thing off, and by you I don’t actually mean you, because I know the chances of you banging Shakira are pretty much non-existent….but you get what I am saying…
Either way, less shorts, more pussy…even if these shorts are on to cover your padded Spanx that make her look like she’s got more of a booty than she actually does…..and here are the pics…
The American Music awards are the biggest bottom feeding award show around. In the history of doing this site, Dick Clark, the founder of the show and his boyfriend/clone/successor Ryan Seacrest had their people send me invites at least once, before realizing I’m not American Music Award material because I hate American Music but like American Titties, but for some reason the only pussy I wanted to Investigate like I was CSI belonged to Shakira and not because she uses that pussy as her Columbian cocaine smuggling mule, but because she squeezed her South American ass in this black dress, which was tight enough to distract me from her stalky midget legs…and here are the pics….
We get it Shakira, you had a song with Wyclef on a song and black dudes appreciate your fat ass more than white dudes do but you don’t have to style your hair to look like a fat tourist after getting a local to give her cornrows, who flew down to an all inclusive resorts in Jamaica in hopes of finding a guy horny enough to fuck you and take advantage of you by telling you he loves you in exchange for you mailing him down money every month thinking he’s going to marry you, while really he’s just using you as one of his clients, because let’s face it, he may be poor and willing to fuck anything, but he’s not going to do it for free cuz you are just that disgusting…Either way, nice hair you twat….
I am not sure if a new trend in Hollywood is to let yourself go and age the way nature intended your womanly ass to fucking age, but I do know that I’ve been seeing a lot of gunts lately and I don’t like it one bit. If I wanted to see fucking gunts, I’d join the senior citizen’s aquarobics class at the local community center, because 60+ is where I like to keep the gunts, not on barely 35 year old smuggled Columbian trash everyone is hard over standing around in some ridiculous lookin’ dress that’s squeezing her stomach into all the wrong places, like her menopausal, mom of 5, nature’s pillow in her pubis….I’m not diggin’ this,but your lonely ass probably is.
That’s enough gunt talk for the day…no onto better things…
I hate Shakira. Not only is her command of the english language shitty, but she sings in some weird tribal chant that shoulda been forgotten in Columbia where they appreciate that shit cuz they are all jacked on cocaine.
She did some Bollywood rip off performance that should offend India because it sucked and she shaked her ass because I guess that’s all she’s good for. I am really not diggin’ this at all, but then again why would I, this show is targeted to gay dudes and I guess this was for them, and I’m posting it for you because you haven’t accepted the fact that you’re gay yet. I’, just doin’ my part.
People seem to love Shakira now more than ever because of her comeback in that video everyone jerks off to, so some fashion magazine got her in some photoshoot where they dressed her in some fetish gear and I guess the whole thing is not worth complaining about, but I was always disgusted by girls in their 30s, so to me, Shakira died 2 years ago and no matter what she does will come across as trying too hard to hold onto a time when I was jerking off to her breasts that were small and humble, in a time before her hips didn’t lie….
Everyone is freaking the fuck out about Shakira’s body because she’s done her latin dance proper enough to lose the extra weight on her small titted backside, but all I see is a bitch with uncomfortably short legs. I’m talking bitch strugglin’ walking up stairs or getting into cars, or doin’ regular everyday Columbian things, like running from the police or drug sniffing dogs, and I don’t mean to be picky, cuz this bitch looks hotter than most, has more flavor than most and has the weirdest dance moves that would feel good on my penis at least based on her music video, bit seeing her in this ridiculous shoes is straight up Halloweening….yes, I just invented a word.
Shakira was on America’s Got Talent a few days ago, because apparently you don’t need to be American to be the guest on the show, and she did her stupid dance every motherfucker is masturbating to, despite how fucking awkward lookin’ the shit is. The only reason I am posting this is because I just got on the computer and I am trying to buy time, it’s not because I think she’s got talent…
Everyone has been freaking out about the new Shakira video that I assume has been out for a while, but that I slept on because I don’t really care about bitches who claim their breasts are small and humble, especailly when they aren’t 18 anymore, but according to all my creepy friends at the park, apparently shit is one of those music videos you can jerk off to, which hasn’t happened in a long time, and I guess she can get away with it cuz she pulls the “latin” card, you know where she claims her people are much more in touch with their sexuality and bodies, when in reality all the latin women I know have fat asses and are addicted to eating tacos and will stab you in the neck while you are sleeping because they dreamt you cheated on them, so I tend to stay away from that shit…especially when they sing with her the stupid sounds she makes with her throat that remind me of some kind of duck hunt, or tribal mating call, but I’m not gonna hate on her, even though these pics lead me to believe she’s got short, stalky legs and I hate that shit….
