Victoria Beckham has really big nipples and since I am a pervert I figure I should post them. I once knew a girl with inverted nipples and that shit freaked me out. The whole time I was banging her, I dreamt about real nipples like this and I think that bitch tarnished me for life, making me drawn to this kind of thing, but that doesn’t really matter. What does matter is that I met a girl this weekend who I told I wasn’t interested in meeting because I don’t like knowing people and she told me that we had met before about 5 years ago and I made fun of her shoes. She remembered me from 2002 and has hated me since so I learned a little lesson about consequences and how one drunken night can change a person’s opinion of you and make them hold a grudge against you for many fucking years.l I saw that movie with Adam Sandler, where the dude from highschool was putting on lipstick plotting against those who wronged him and I always thought that I was that guy. It turns out that I was completely wrong, like Beckham’s plastic surgeon who accidentally put a penis up on her tits, but that doesn’t mean you should be a dick to people, because I think your legacy should be a nice one. People should remember you as the guy who everyone liked and not the guy who ripped everyone a new assholes. The point of the story is that you want to be Posh Spice’s nipples before the surgery, you don’t want to be the bi-product that people like me get off to. There’s a lesson in everything. Just call me the professor….

You know a girl has pretty powerful nipples when the fuckers poke through some kind of undershirt bra and the beater. It’s some double layer nipple penetration shit that I’ve never really seen before, but I haven’t seen that much, I generally don’t leave my house and when I did used to get out, I never really focused much on their tits, I’d be too busy trying to sober up enough to get hard because I knew the pussy wouldn’t be patient enough to wait around too long since I only had an hour. When you’ve got time constraints you gotta go right down to business. I guess since I am married, I should have seen my wife in all kinds of compromising positions, including wet t-shirt and erect nipples, but her tits are so fucking floppy that her nipples kinda just blended into the background and looking for the nub would take me all night and is a task I am not really willing to attempt because I’d probably start dreaming of nights in prison when the dudes in the next cell used to fuck, only because that gay prison shit is hotter than sucking on a fat chick’s tit…..

Either way, Victoria Beckham saves the day with some hard nipples to remind me of what I could have had if I played my cards right, I am not talking about getting with her, but I am pretty sure there are plenty of needy girls with big nipples that I will never meet out there for me….

I was emailed these pictures of Victoria Beckham’s tits in some grey cotton and decided to post them because they are fucking hot. I really have no right to be posting these pictures proven byt he fact that I contacted a lawyer about all the lawsuits I’ve been facing the last 2 months, but I will post them anyway. My lawyer told me that there is nothing legal in what I do, and I figured that there is because I am just telling you stories about random shit I’ve seen set to pictures I find. I don’t really know who the source is and for all I know maybe I took the fucking picture. I am pretty fucking drunk and what it all comes down to is that my insider lohan connection told me she was pretty drunk to. I was getting tired of being judged by the people around me about my lifestyle choices and seem to have found comfort in other alcoholics, like lohan. I am back on my Lohan love affair mission that I’ve been pretty slack about lately, mainly because she has enough money to pay my rent for me, but also because I have never banged a redhead and want to…

I read somewhere that the way to a woman’s heart was to look for pictures of famous bitches with erect nipples because it doesn’t make you look like a desperate, virgin pervert and it really makes them want to take off their panties for you… True fucking story.

These pictures of Posh spice on the Runway for some Cavalli trashy bullshit fashion show are reminiscent of the time I dated a Real Doll. The only difference is that Posh spice knows how to walk, talk, make babies and do mass amounts of cocaine off her husband/soccer player’s abs. Either way, I wasn’t really in a love affair with a real doll, I could never afford that shit, and I wouldn’t get all freaky like showering the doll and taking the doll out on walks and fuckin’ dressing the doll up and sleeping with the doll because that represents some serious psychological issues. I would probably just get addiced to the pussy and I’d never leave my house, because it would be embarssing walking around with a real doll attached to your dick. That’s the kinda shit that gets you arrested.