Naomi is a waste of space, but more importantly a waste of champagne. There are people like me who have waited a lifetime to taste the sweet nectar of actual champagne, but instead I am forced to drink shit like Baby Duck and other ghetto sparkling wine that gives me a fucking headache, while this cunt and her billionaire russian (mobster) oil tycoon have the luxury of spraying the shit all over each other like the bunch of wasting pigs who live in excess that they are….

I guess life’s not fair, but I’d rather live the shitty life I live than be forced to spend the day with J.Lo on her yacht, which is what these idiots are doing while they are acting all wild and crazy, but not crazy enough, cuz I’d love if this ended in a traditional Naomi Campbell freak out that leaves Jenny from the block at the bottom of the ocean…but I never get what I want, I’ve come to terms with that.

Pics via Bauer

Here are some pictures of Jessica Simpson pretending to be Britney Spears, only instead of being in her soiled underwear she in a dress and instead of drinking rubbing alcohol out of the plastic bottle, she’s drinking champagne, but since she’s a good Christian girl the bottle empty and she’s just acting drunk….maybe she should stick to singing…

I remember getting with a crazy repressed Christian chick. Everytime we’d fuck, she’d cry because of her guilt but while we were fucking bitch was insane, she’d be grabbing my cock like no one has ever grabbed it and bitch even made me cum from a handjob like I was 14. I don’t know it was like Jesus possessed her into being extremely fucking bad, but as soon as she was done crying off the shame she’d get up and be a model Christian citizen who told people she was waiting til she was married to give it up, who went to church groups and to the church with her family and I was just this dirty fucking secret. She is the first girl who begged me to finish in her ass everytime we were together and the show stopper was the day she came over with a virgin mary statue and fucked herself with it while making me watch, that lead to crucifixes, jesus statues and some ceremonial candles she stole from her church. The whole thing was a total mind fuck, but I wasn’t complaining, I didn’t care that she had all these fucking issues, because she was good fucking times….even though they were weird times.

All this to say that behind every christian girl is a crazy sexual deviant who’s been repressed all their lives and is ready to fucking explode….and here are those pics.