Why’d she have to go and make things so complicated? I see the way she’s acting like somebody else gets me frustrated. What happened to the wholesome little suburban mall punk who married her suburban mall punk boyfriend who she met at the mall skateboard shop where they would buy Vans sneakers and punk accessories. Oh right, she grew the fuck up, got a little perspective and realized the faggot she married was wearing 3 inch high platform creepers wasn’t 15 anymore…

Here she is in St Tropez pampering herself up on the way to a yacht where she’e meeting some mysterious, rich, tall, dark haired man who dresses like an adult and the whole thing is so excited, I just wish I was there to see Sum 41′s face when they find out about this, shit’s gonna inspire a poorly written pop/punk song for sure. I just hope they stay together for the sake of the kids….

And just a little words of wisdom for the suburban mall punks who read this site….If you meet another suburban mall punk from the same state as you, maybe even the same neighborhood as you, who has the same job as you and may like the same music as you and attend all the same events as you, it doesn’t mean you’re supposed to marry the motherfucker….