Christina Milian is a mom who annoys me….only because I was forced to watch The Voice the other day…that’s what trying to get laid does to you…it makes you weak and challenges you in ways you’d rather no be challenged….like staring at Christina Aguilera’s fat chick tits….or trying to figure out what Christina Milian’s gig on the show is….because she is their social network expert….telling them they are trending on twittter because I guess a lot of other dudes, like me, were trying to get laid…or please the woman they stupidly married thinking things would be good….

Well she wore a see through dress, I can’t figured it out….where are her nipples, does she have nipples? Did her baby chew them off, is this a black thing, is she black, was she attacked by a crow? I hear crows have good memories and seek revenge? I just don’t know….but I do see cleavage so some effort went into this…effort I’ll recognize….

Here’s the close-up:

There is one thing in life I can say for a fact I am not into…..but will still look at, lick, fist and fuck….and that is mom pussy…the whole concept of a baby ripping shit apart is not something I really feel the need to celebrate unless I really have to and it’s all that is available….even if there is a chance that there was c-section and shit is still well maintained and in good working form…the idea that there is even a 5 percent chance her genitals were ravaged makes her uninteresting to me….bring her back to that “Dip it Low” video and I’m good with the person she was…

Don’t get me wrong, I have full intention on banging a bitch while pregnant with another motherfuckers baby at some point in the next 36 months…but I just want to make sure it’s her first kid…only because we all need to experience everything in life….we only have one life to live…make it count….do it all…don’t deprive from adventure…as gross as it may be…

All this to say, it is probably a good thing that she’s wearng panties.

I hate the paparazzi…not so much the immigrants taking the pictures…but the agencies who control the pictures, who sell the pictures, and who work with the publicists to find out where the celebrities are when they aren’t staging pictures to get attention…..

They are the scum of the earth, they are trying to sue all the blogs cuz they feel that their pictures aren’t public, but that the celebs they take pictures are, and it’s a fucking scam….that fuels a stupid fucking industry…..

So since I think Paparazzi and celebrity gossip is fucking retarded – part of the reason I do this site…I’ve decided to partake in it by reporting to you that Ashley Greeen’s handler calls her Ash….a revelation on par with Brad Pitt feeding the kids Soda, or any other idiotic caption you’ve read this week that made you go “who fucking cares”….

Here’s a video of Christina Milian’s ass with some more genius conversation from the paparazzi in efforts to make this post worth looking at…but the idiot paparazzi didn’t follow the ass as it walked by them…every dude knows when a girl walks by..you fucking follow….idiots….but I guess that was expected based on their career choices…

Christina Milian is in one of those music videos you probably used to masturbate to before you had the internet…because it was slutty as fuck as she tried to re-invent herself from whatever she was before this video…

Because I’m not gonna bother doing background research, when all I really care about is that she’s at some Vegas event, hosting some end of season party, wearing some one-piece type bathing suit where the tits connect to the twat, even though she’s a mom, and mom’s aren’t supposed to be at trashy vegas events until they’re 50th birthday party, but she’s showing off some titty, and despite knowing her vagina is probably some kind of battlefield thanks to natural child birth, I can ignore that, since it’s strategically covered, and focus on what’s good….which is the fact that she doesn’t use condoms.

In 2003, Christina Milian changed our masturbation to music video habit for the better with this Dip it Low shit that was next level sleazy at the time…

In 2011, she’s still an exhibitionist slut, cuz I guess it’s all she knows, only now she’s a mom, with a meaty mom vagina, and not the virgin she was in the video….and sure she’s not as hot…but anytime I see a mom walking the streets like this…I know how they got pregnant in the first place…by spitting the cum from her mouth into a cup and inseminating herself to get the guy to think of her as more than just a slut, booty call, or fuck…but as the mother of her kid…to make an honest woman of her until that gets boring….at least that’s the story I heard…

I am guessing these are pictures of Christina Milian with her chubby twin sister, who I doubt is a natural blonde, but who assume has had less babies but has eaten more fried food than Milian….

I do not love how Milian’s stomach looks post baby, if anything it looks like some kind of war zone, but I guess that’s just how mom bodies work, and being a mom means throwing away the sexy slut with one hit, who’s video we all jerked off to back in the late 90s. At risk of quoting Blink 182, I guess this is growing up…and it’s pretty miserable…Even though I’d like to eat this asshole, but maybe that’s cuz I am ugly, but it’s probably cuz my wife is substantially more obese and dumpy than this shit. Sucks to be me.

I am calling a Christina Milian pregnancy because no one else in the world really gives a fuck about her anymore. I think the reality is that everyone’s pretty much forgot about her. That’s why her marriage to The Dream pretty much went unnoticed, as did the fact that she was dropped by her label and signed to Myspace records, but I know that I will never forget the music video of her rolling around in mud all sexy and dirty like, but that’s because I have trouble letting go.

The reason I think she’s pregnant is because it would explain why she’s wearing a fat chick dress, it would also explain why she got married in the first place, because no one likes illegitimate babies, especially my mom, and here are her tits….

Pics via Bauer

So Christian Milian is out in Hawaii with her boyfriend, who is some rapper named The-Dream. I can just see how this is going to end, she’ll find out he cheats on her every chance he can get, and doesn’t appreciate just being the “number one shorty”, cuz she has an ego, and thinks she deserves to be a queen and that her rapper boyfriend should be exclusive to her, without realizing that when he tours pussy is thrown at him and a lot of the time it’s not even hotter pussy than hers, but just different pussy, and that keeps things fresh and allows him to put up with her whiney bullshit, because the second a woman tries to limit a man from fucking other girls, is the minute that man hates her.

So she’ll probably act up, he’ll probably Chris Brown her, and that’s just the hip hop world way….

Christina Milian King Magazine photoshoot

I have loved Christina Milian since seeing her get covered in mud like a dirty little whorein her one hit wonder album a few years back that I assume she’s trying to recreate. I assume she’s been dropped by her original label and that is why she’s been laying low but after deciding to go with myspace records, she’s recorded an album and now she’s doing her promotional rounds.

She ended up on the cover of King Magazine because I guess she’s black or appeals to black people and by black people I mean white suburban kids who buy magazines they think are for black people so they can act more black and garner some street cred, while real black people are too busy being gangsters, rappers or reading Fortune to bother picking shit up.

On a side note, I fell in love with a black girl last night, it was at the movies, she was tall and luxurious, I tried making eye contact, until her hoodrat boyfriend came and I felt it was better to not get shot.

Here is Milian doing her King Magazine thing…

Here’s her music Video I’ve Posted Before….

Us Against The World – Official Music Video

Christina Milian was kinda hot in that video of her roling around in mud. I was sure she was a slut with staying power and not a one hit wonder she ended up becoming, but it turns out that she’s back, only this time with Myspace Music, because no record company wants to give a one hit wonder who has been off the map for the last 5 years a fucking chance, but Myspace, in their struggle to stay alive while sites like Facebook and social networking in general are dying, has decided to give her that second chance. I remember when my wife gave me a second chance when we were first dating and I accidentally stuck my dick in about 15 different girls while she was away visiting her mother and I was excited about my new found freedom, it ended up with me marrying her and ruining my fucking life, and I can only assume that will be Milian’s fate. I like to call this not giving up when you are ahead and thinking you have what it takes when you don’t, and it always ends up in misery.

Here are some older pictures of Christina Milian flashing the world her pantyless pussy, unfortunately, the camera guy was a fucking asshole and he missed the fuckin’ meat. This is like making a pie without putting the filling in it, or like driving without a car, or like trying to finger a girl despite having no arms. I don’t really know what I am saying, but I am definitely writing nonsense and you don’t deserve that, but I don’t feel like I deserve these cockteasing pictures. Sure, Milian is pretty irrelevant now, but pussy is fuckin’ pussy and if I took the attitude towards all washed up girls, where I seemingly moved on from them with their popularity dwindling and their careers and beauty fading, I would still be a fuckin’ virgin, because if you saw my roster, or the slopholes that made the notches on this very large belt, you’d know that I don’t think I am too good for shit…seriously….if shit was shaped like a pussy in one of those Miracle From God ways like the time the Grilled Cheese had the Virgin Mary’s Likeness toasted on it, I’d totally fuck it.

Remember Christina Milian from that video where she rolls around in mud, wishing she was black, like the time I put shoe polish on my face and sang slave songs in a pretty shitty southern, broken english accent because I thought it would get me street cred, when all it really did was get me a lot of dirty looks because the black peole were convinced I was mocking them and didn’t realize I was trying to be down with them because I love black girls. I love the skinny ones at least, with their long legs and tight bodies and know how to move all with low expectations when it comes to Christmas, they are just happy to not get shot, so they don’t cost that much while white girls expect so much out of you, whether it’s time, gifts or hugs. I guess it’s because black guys aren’t too down with waiting around for them, especially after knocking them up.

I don’t love the fat black girls because they are horny, aggressive and stronger than me and because I don’t like fat chicks in general. About 2 months ago, I was walking around some hotel lobby, as I do lookin’ for unsuspecting girls from out of town, when some big ol’ Aunt Jamima lookin girl puts her really big arm around my shoulder and asks me what I am doing in town, how long I’m here for and who I am with. Knowing she wants to get paid to suck me off, I tell her I am waitin for my wife, that I am here all week, be sure to try the steak and she gets all mad and tells me how badly she wanted to keep me company all week, for 50 dollars a day. I told her I was offended that she would take me for the kind of guy who needs to pay for friends and sex, then cried into her big ol’ Aunt Jamima arms when I realized that I was the kind of guy who needs to ay for sex because girls just don’t like me, but they do when I am paying them to and that works for me.

Since we’re talking about whores here, here’s some Christina Milian trying to stay in the picture by wearing some slutty dress you want to fuck off her.

Here’s some Christina Milian bikini pictures from a while ago, I am posting them becaue I am hungover and have nothing interesting to say about Christina Milian because she’s hardly relevant, so that’s a good enough reason to stop writing now.

Christina Milian was the Rihanna the Beta Version. That was some internet talk since this is the fucking internet. The only difference between Milian and Rihanna was that Rihanna knew she wasn’t hugely talented, so she plays the puppet and sings other people songs, while Milian was the eager cheerleading bitch from your high school who starred in the school play, won the school talent show, organized the school fashion show, was on the Yearbook Committee, was the President of the school Government, took singing and dancing classes on her spare time, got straight As, like making puzzles, had a hot body and was a champion tennis player. Bitch had her fucking hands in everything and just spread herself too thin, something I wish my wife could do to herself, so that I could have sex again.

Either way, here she is looking hot in a bikini, because now that she’s burnt out and not really out there, she has plenty of time to just kick it.

Here are some pictures of Christina Milian. I guess she’s trying to get back into the limelight since she was such a successful triple threat, you know with her one hit and shitty acting roles. Unfortunately she wants to draw attention to herself by dressing in your grandmother’s curtains. Maybe bitch has burned through all her money and put her mom’s seamstress skills to test because she finally got invited to some kind of event. I guess it’s possible that she thought shit was hot. There was a time in my life where I thought rockin’ a puke stained t-shirt was hardcore, like no one fucks with a dude covered in puke, but it turns out that shit just stank and people would just avoid me because it was gross and not because it meant that I didn’t give a fuck.

She’s still got tits and I still jerk off to the Dip It Low video, unfortunately my dick doesn’t work, but I guess that doesn’t matter because either does she….