After posting a January Jones pregnancy picture, I have no choice but to reflect on her baby daddy who was rumored to be Claudia Schiffer’s husband, forcing me to compare her dumpy shit, with Schiffer’s latest photoshoot for Vogue because as you can imagine, Claudia Sciffer is fucking hot and has been for at least 2 decades, while January Jones fucking sucks….even though I’m drawn to broken homes….Claudia Schiffer’s dysfunctional home is highly more erotic but harder to break into…here are the pics…
I respect any woman, especially a hot old supermodel woman, who stands by her man in a time of bad publicity. People say he knocked up January Jones while filming a moive as Schiffer picked up the kids from school, yet she realizes, even if he did, who really cares…
Marriage is not supposed to be a prison. This is real life and we like to fucking stick our dicks in other things, as wives like to stick tennis pro dick in their pussies…It’s nature’s way…
Marriage is supposed to be that friendship, that level of communication, laid back and a tax break or in my case a way to pay my rent, food and drinking cuz she’s fat and has few options.
Does him cumming in a Hollywood bitch, who is younger, fatter, and less successful than Schiffer worth throwing that dynamic away…Apparently not…making Schiffer the perfect woman…
Unless of course he didn’t knock the bitch up and that was just press for the movies, in which case, who fucking cares how strong their marriage is, or how cool Schiffer is about his penis galivanting around town, cuz it makes this post too romantic, when I’m really more about gaping pussy and naked titties…
Funny story came out today that Claudia Schiffer’s husband was fucking January Jones raw dog and knocking her up only to discover too late that January Jones wanted a baby and doesn’t believe in abortions, while Claudia Sciffer was at home picking up her kid from school everyday as he pretended he was just “working” on a movie with her….January Jones over Claudia Schiffer, I guess this proves the whole even fucking Claudia Schiffer gets boring for her husband argument people used to use in the 90s.
What it comes down to is that models are supposed to marry older billionaire business men who want the trophy to feel accomplished, they aren’t supposed to mess with people in Hollywood.
What is also comes down to is that dudes like to fuck and we aren’t that picky, and don’t really care if the bitch we are getting with is hotter than the one we have at home, we just like that we are getting it…
Either way, here she is with her hot mom ex supermodel body in England, the calm before the scandal storm…and she’s looking hot to me…if she needs a dick to cry on, I volunteer mine mainly because like Patch Adams, it brings laughs and joy to those trying to find it in the scavanger hunt that is my sex life.
More women should age like this. I find it refreshing to see a 50 year old who has maintained her sex appeal and who looks long, thin and elegant as she walks her long, thing and elegant vagina around in mom jeans. Look in the mirror, or look at your wife then look at these pictures now ask yourself where did you go wrong?
Here are some long model legs for those of you still stuck in 1993 remembering David Copperfield’s best trick.
I have a feeling I’ve used that joke before.
I have limited capacity when it comes to humor…
I also have limited capacity for keeping it in my pants when I see pictures of how retired models age…I don’t know why, but it’s just porn to me. Maybe it is their superior genetics, or the comedy of seeing them struggle with aging, knowing their self-worth relies so much on their appearance, and really who fucking cares why I like anything, just look at these skinny legs.
Fany pants! You know you’ve made it when you can take a little Asian man away from his convenience store/sweatshop/computer programming, to work as your personal umbrella holder, cuz everyone with money knows holding your umbrella is ungodly, uncomfortable, and almost embarrassing, you know for common folk, and anyone who’s anyone has a poor immigrant do it, to strip him of all dignity he once had out of him…
Here’s ex-model/David Copperfield Trick, Claudia Schiffer showing us how the other side lives….This must be what Rihanna was singing about…Now I get it….
Either Claudia Schiffer is endorsing whoever made this outfit for her, or she’s taken the Sarah Jessica Parker class on getting the paparazzi to not bother with you because you wore the same outfit two days in a row (don’t ask me why I know that, trust me it is not cuz I am the president of the SJP fan club) even though wearing the same outfit two days in a row would be red flags to me if I was a paparazzi…I’d think maybe she’s broke and only can afford one outfit, like the hookers I frequent…or maybe she slept at some dude’s house and is pulling the walk of shame…something I am sure you’ve all seen and wished you experienced…unless you’re a girl, in which case you really grasp why it is called the walk of shame…and really who fucking cares about Claudia Schiffer, she’s a retired model, two words that when put together in a sentence don’t make me want to masturbate.
Some dudes like to jerk off to pregnant chicks getting slammed. I don’t know if it has to do with them getting off to something that they will probably never experience because girls don’t want to get pregnant by them or have them inside them while pregnant, or maybe it is on some other level that involves a bitch not being able to get pregnant if she’s already pregnant, or maybe it is the fact that there is a living creature inside them, or it could be that they’re fucking pregnant and about to bring life into the world to raise and nurture, but here they are in video getting fucked, which just makes the bitch a total fucking whore, like the most desperate a bitch can possibly get in a “come on, just go to lamaze class and get off the porn / stripper circuit”…I am not one of those dudes…
But I guess seeing Claudia Schiffer naked for fashion while pregnant takes naked pregnancy to the next level, because it’s not the fat black stripper on welfare and meth, but a model who I went through my 20s wanting to fuck like I was David Copperfield pulling his best illusion……
She did the cover of Vogue naked and pregnant the way I may not like it, but you probably do.
Some people have specific needs when it comes to jerking off and getting off. I realized a long time ago that pretty much anything you can think of, no matter how vile, at least one person has got off to it. I like to credit my friend who got off to garbage, because he found the story behind the garbage exhilerating and erotic. The mystery of who the person behind the empty coke can, or the half eaten sandwich, or the dirty kleenex was enough for him to get off….motherfucker would walk around with a garbage bag and gather during the day thanks to umemployment, welfare and insanity, then he’d spread it around his apartment floor and roll around in the shit naked and moaning….so I guess the idea that a percentage of people who used to masturbate to Claudia Schiffer when she was the supermodel who wouldn’t get naked who are also into ready-to-drop porn, that there is a market for and exists, is not that far of a stretch and here are the pictures for that guy.
Claudia Schiffer, Eva Herzigova and Helena Christensen are retired supermodels bringing their hot older bodies out of motherhood, to show the world why they were models in the first place and that when once a model always a model because models never die and good genes last forever or some other comic book mantra you’d be better off writing for me, since I don’t do comics.
They look good, but the pics are a little boring, maybe it’s just me but when a bitch gets this close to showing me her pussy but backs the fuck out, I get angry …real angry….and that kind of behavior gets a bitch raped or at least a black eye….if you know what I mean….
This is one of those photoshoots I would have liked to be masturbating in the corner on, cuz you know between shots, bald mom pussy was bountiful…
Either way, here are the pics…..take it in cuz I figure eventually they will age and start falling apart at the seams, but no matter what they put themselves thru, they still look pretty solid, but then again, maybe that’s why they aren’t showing their pussies…you know with all the dick and babies and losing of elasticity and shit….
Just because they get naked to shower off their kids’ puke and to have their weekly scheduled sex with their husbands and not to grace the covers of highend fashion magazines, doesn’t mean we have to give up on these sluts we all grew up jerking off to. They were the first wave of supermodels in my life.
I remember 1989 jerking off to Elle Macpherson in Sports Illustrated swimsuit. I remember jerking off to Cindy Crawford when she did Playboy in 1988 and I remember just thinking Claudia Schiffer was hot back before the David Copperfield days.
They probably weren’t innovators, their work probably insignificant, no better than being the bitch on a game show turning letters, or the bitches who work at conventions or conferences promoting products, but they probably think their impact was significant, because otherwise they’d just go out and kill themselves, but instead they are here showing off that genetics played a huge part in getting where they got, since they look fucking amazing and even 20 years later I’d jerk off to them if my dick had the same fate as their looks and didn’t break along the way.
Cindy Crawford and Her Mom Legs
Elle Macpherson Slutty Mom Legs in a Leather Skirt
BONUS – Possible Claudia Schiffer See Thru Dress Pics
David Copperfield and I had a lot in common. Firstly, we both got mistaken for pedophiles when we first started out or magic careers and would solicit boys and girls in the park to watch our magic tricks, hoping they’d go home to mom and dad and demand they book us for their birthday parties. Secondly, we both had a love for Claudia Schiffer, a supermodel at the time. The only difference was that Copperfield managed to take his magic to the motherfuckin’ top and I was stuck doing a bad coin trick some asshole taught me to get money on the streets, and he got engaged to Claudia Schiffer, while she still doesn’t know I exist. It is one of life’s great tragedies, but the good news is that I am used to tragedy. I decided to post these pictures of her to remind me of something I never had…..
Sure these aren’t pictures of Elle Macpherson and Claudia Schiffer actually making out with each other, but they should be, despite Katy Perry ruining my interest in girl on girl action so that every time I see any girl on girl action her Kissed a Girl garbage plays on repeat in my head, because I’d still be down to see it, since I grew up on these girls and 10 years too late is better than never…
I don’t know where these pictures were taken, but it seems like these ladies are doing everyday mom stuff, so I can only assume it’s some private island they drop ex models off at, you know so the public doesn’t get a tarnished vision of the perfection they once had, you know as they age and rot away into disgusting, it’s pretty much the same logic as to why you don’t want an open casket at your funeral, but I think that’s just overkill, let these whores into the general public, they’ve already had it too fuckin’ easy, let us use the private islands for for homeless people and people with Aids and homosexuals, you know to clean up our streets and make the world a better place.
I had to go to the vagina doctor with my wife. I didn’t really understand why, because she needs more of an exterminator than a doctor for that shit, you know it’s like it’s been left to fend for itself for too long that the fucking thing is no longer a medical issue and more one of pest control, but being the nice guy that I am, I went with her.
The radio was on in the waiting room and I was forced to listen to an hour of Christmas songs. From Bing Crosby, Elvis, Perry Como and it even went into some of the newer shit, that came a solid month too early for my cold dead heart, so I asked the bitch at the desk to put on something a little less annoying and offensive and she told me to sit down and turned up the fucking volume. I was a little surprised that such a big cunt worked at a vagina doctor, but I guess it was fitting.
Speaking of fitting, it looks like Claudia Schiffer’s teeth are trying to escape that clown mouth of hers, she probably regrets leaving David Copperfield back in her prime, when she didn’t need his services, because motherfucker could have sorted that shit out for her, I mean he did walk through the great wall of China and he did make the Statue of Liberty disappear, meaning he has what it takes to make her beauty not disappear, but I guess she’ll just have to go to a plastic surgeon like the rest of the supermodels who aren’t super anymore, but who want to be super, because it is all their know, and their whole contribution to the world and self-worth is based on their beauty, and now that it’s gone, they’re left not knowing what to do with themselves….and in Claudia Schiffer’s case, that personal conflict has made her forget her teeth bleaching treatment while trying to figure out her next step..
The good news is that if she chooses to not go through with the surgery, she can always take this look to the local hospital to Patch Adams that shit for sick kids, I hear it’s rewarding.
Claudia Schiffer is still modeling and that’s ok with me, because with a little air-brushing she almost looks like she did 15 years ago and I can relive those better years before I got married and before Schiffer was using her hot model tits to feed her babies that ruined her pussy. She she was just some hot foreign import model who couldn’t speak english, something I looked for in a woman because I feel speaking is a total distraction from what’s really important and that’s hardcore fucking. From my experience, talking always leads to conversations about how unhappy a bitch is with every aspect of my life and when I can’t understand those complaints it’s a lot easier to live with myself.
Either way, here she is topless in Vogue, not showin’ nipple, but you can use your imagination.
