I was making jokes all Easter about dressing up like the Easter Bunny and going to the park to tell the kids I had Easter Eggs hidden up my ass, just to throw their uptight parents off, Then I made jokes about making friends with a black Easter bunny at the mall and going to tag team bitches in costume, unfortunately, I never did either of those things, but my jokes are far more interesting than seeing the shit played out on Katy Perry…mainly because Katy Perry is a sloppy, disgusting, bad skinned monster of a girl who somehow tricked the world into thinking she’s a popstar…when really she should be nothing more than an Employee of the Month at McDonalds.
I love that Jennifer Lopez has decided to revive her ridiculous career. I never understood why she was so well-received in the late 90s in the first place, but everyone thought she was god’s gift to the entertainment industry, thanks to all the marketing she had behind her and the fact that you are all a bunch of fucking drones who buy into the bullshit, but I do understand that watching her try to make a comeback is fucking hysterical as her booty you once jerked off to has turned boxy and flat like the useless mom she was always meant to be….
I love watching old ladies trying to hold onto their youth and the good times they once had…it’s half the tits I get flashed at me at bars I go to cuz old bitches are so wild…..
What a fucking joke….I need the video of this….actually I don’t…It will just piss me off…I’ll just stick to the pics…
It was Jennifer Love Hewitt’s birthday, she turned 31 and I guess no one gave a fuck, so she decided to dress up like an idiot to let the world know she’s celebrating and having the time of her life cuz it’s her day, or maybe it just took her 31 years to realize and accept the fact that she’s an overweight joke by dressing like the clown that she is, but really what the fuck do I know, other than that this costume in February is nothing but fucking stupidity, but the good news is that I never knew something so insignificant, like some bitch I don’t know who I never found hot, even though she was tiny with big tits, cuz I knew eventually her ass would catch up and balance out her horse face, could actually annoy me this much, but now I do…
This is some bottom feeder that you have no business knowing by name because she is really that useless and from some Reality TV bullshit, but she is the kind of nobody who I call paparazzi chasers, whether she tips them off as to where she is going to be, or she follows them around like they are famous and she’s the paparazzi, just in hopes there’s a slow day so that motherfucker can catch her simulating pissing like the dog she is, or doing the other really lame stunts she’s pulled over the last few months she’s been pretending to be famous.
It is girls like this who are making celebrity and hollywood worse than a fucking trailer park not that I really remember a time when people who didn’t deserve to be famous were famous, but I do know that it is getting out of hand and can only hope the apocalyse hits Southern California before getting to me, so I can watch the end and smile satisfied before the locusts or tsunami get me…..
Here’s up and coming, lesbian in training, Annalynne McCord wearing a pair of fancy pantyhose. They are substantially nicer than the support-hose I used to sell old ladies when I worked in a pharmacy, but they aren’t as hot as the time one of the support-hose ladies asked me for a 3 gallon douche, because her old support-hose pussy was just that big. Unfortunately for her, the store I worked at didn’t stock industrial sized vaginal douches, but I convinced her to just buy 4 of the regular ones. I like to think of that being the day I was officially named a local hero, but for a solid 3 weeks after the incident, every time I tried to fuck one of the stinky whores I was fucking, I’d get flashbacks of this wholesome granny, and her desperate need to cleanse, and instead of fucking, I just wanted to wrap myself in a blanket and have bedtime stories read to me.
The point of this is to say, I’m really not into this dyke, she reminds me of a fuckin’ clown at the Jew carnival, and I predict her fame will end with the shitty prime time soap opera spin off I am hoping no one watches, but don’t know for sure because I haven’t been allowed back to the high school cafeteria I used to get my lunch at, when the staff realized I wasn’t there councilling troubled kids, or working for the janitor, but was in fact staring at perky tits…and that concludes this life changing post.
I had to go to the vagina doctor with my wife. I didn’t really understand why, because she needs more of an exterminator than a doctor for that shit, you know it’s like it’s been left to fend for itself for too long that the fucking thing is no longer a medical issue and more one of pest control, but being the nice guy that I am, I went with her.
The radio was on in the waiting room and I was forced to listen to an hour of Christmas songs. From Bing Crosby, Elvis, Perry Como and it even went into some of the newer shit, that came a solid month too early for my cold dead heart, so I asked the bitch at the desk to put on something a little less annoying and offensive and she told me to sit down and turned up the fucking volume. I was a little surprised that such a big cunt worked at a vagina doctor, but I guess it was fitting.
Speaking of fitting, it looks like Claudia Schiffer’s teeth are trying to escape that clown mouth of hers, she probably regrets leaving David Copperfield back in her prime, when she didn’t need his services, because motherfucker could have sorted that shit out for her, I mean he did walk through the great wall of China and he did make the Statue of Liberty disappear, meaning he has what it takes to make her beauty not disappear, but I guess she’ll just have to go to a plastic surgeon like the rest of the supermodels who aren’t super anymore, but who want to be super, because it is all their know, and their whole contribution to the world and self-worth is based on their beauty, and now that it’s gone, they’re left not knowing what to do with themselves….and in Claudia Schiffer’s case, that personal conflict has made her forget her teeth bleaching treatment while trying to figure out her next step..
The good news is that if she chooses to not go through with the surgery, she can always take this look to the local hospital to Patch Adams that shit for sick kids, I hear it’s rewarding.
I saw these pictures and wasn’t going to bother posting them, because they are dull as shit, but the joke in them is that she’s at a Cirque du Soleil event dressed like a fucking circus performer, but not the kind you’d actually see at Cirque du Soleil doing their crazy acrobatic dances that you find absolutely breathtaking because you’re a homo, or the kind you’d find in some freakshow, even though she’s tall as fuck, but because her hipster lesbian shoes look a lot like something her Polish grandmother probably wore in the 30′s where she picked up juggling and joined a traveling carnival. The same juggling skills she used to impress the the Nazis so they wouldn’t kill her, allowing her to come to America allowing Leelee to have such a prosperous career or some shit.
But I am just guessing here….me and Leelee aren’t as tight as her obnoxious tights, so I don’t know the real story, but I do know she’s got stupid fuckin’ shoes and that’s all that matters to me while dying on my computer today, even though I think I may still be drunk…and I love being drunk…
I always thought Bai Ling was a clown. She pretty much has no career other than attending events to expose her massive nipples and maybe being in Playboy and a few shitty movies, but now I am happy to see her going back to what she was always destined to be while wearing the stupidest outfit I have probably ever seen. I was wondering whether she showed up to the event in a Volkswagen Bug with 15 of her clown friends and stepped out juggling and doing cartwheels, I guess I will never know since I don’t get invited to all the high profile shit she gets invited to like Jaime Pressly’s Spring/Summer 2008 J’aime Collection…right…
I remember I worked as a clown for about a week. It was one of those things that happens when you have no money and want to get fucked up and decide to randomly apply for jobs to see what comes from it. They expected me to attend events at the mall and birthday parties and other low quality events people hire shitty clowns to attend. I only made it out to one job after the week of training on how to make animals out of balloons in some warehouse, they had an open bar set up and I naturally assumed that those were the benefits of the job since they weren’t offering health insurance and were only paying 10 dollars an hour. I ended up wasted within 20 minutes, grabbing the kids mom’s ass within 30 minutes and throwing up on a kid within the hour. I was fired and never got paid because of damages, but it made for a good sunday afternoon. It is the day of Jesus after all.
Lisa Rinna hasn’t done much since Melrose Place. If you are wondering why I know she was on Melrose Place, it’s because I keep track of all celebrities or semi-celebrities with big tits and a ton of plastic surgery, it’s kind of a hobbie. I also used to do pretty hard drugs in 1996 that left me on various couches with a group of people who were in love with the show and followed it like it was a fucking cult. I think one guy even got the shit tattooed on his back or something because he was crazy and thought he was living in the show but that’s not important.
What is important is seeing a bitch pick herself up from the depths of getting no work, and realize her place in society and that is being a clown at birthday parties. Here are some pictures of her in action but not in costume because if she gave the whole act away, no one would want to hire her.
I am really only posting these because her nipples are hard, she’s wet and she’s more flexible than my wife, which isn’t saying much, I think the Fridge is more flexible than her because it opens. I guess she’s just had nothing better to do than work out the last 11 years…
