I have a think for Cowboys, especially when they aren’t Gay and in bars causing me headaches after having temper tantrums about comments I make to fat groupies.

I also have a thing for Mila Kunis, this girl drives me crazy pretty much everytime I see her, until I think about how she’s engaged to Home Alone Culkin, who looks like he is dying a slow HIV positive death from sharing needles…not that that would stop me from sharing her as he foams at the mouth in the corner thanks to all the pills he’s been popping…

Seriously…Mila Kunis is perfection. I watched Forgetting Sarah Silverman at least twice because of her sex scene and she was the only reason there was That 70s Show.

So good job GQ at making all my dreams come true…

I had this theory that cowboys were going to make a huge comeback. I figured that zombies had their revival, as did vampires and aliens all concepts from the 1950s. Cowboys were the only group of people who weren’t getting the media attention they deserved, I mean other than Brokeback Mountain, but that shit’s just homo….

I’m talking the cowboys kids used to play with, that America as we know it was built on that….So part of me was happy to see a good Western in the works, but unfortunately Megan Fox is attached to the project, making me think the revival is gonna end before it even starts. She’s got the ability to taint things like the meat I fed my wife the other night hoping her stomach of steel would shut the fuck down, but it didn’t bring the elephant down. So maybe my vision for people dressing like cowboys will still come true…

Pics via PacificCoastNews

This post is legendary and by legendary I mean not very interesting at all but worth posting because short shorts are in style this summer, at least that’s what it looks like because I was out over the weekend and every girl was wearing shorts where ass cheeks hung out of the motherfuckers and pussies were suckin’ those fuckin’ things up like they hadn’t been fed in weeks….and that makes me a fan.

The truth is that anything slutty making its way into the mainstream is something that I support because I am a pervert and there was a time when the only girls who wore these things total were fuckin’ sluts and looked down upon by other girls, making the girls who had the bodies to pull it off and who were sitting on the fence about rockin’ these in public choose to not put them on. That made people like you and me the losers in the situation, which isn’t saying much because we were losers to begin with but it’s saying something and that something is that when you see Hilary Duff in anything slutty, you know that shit’s not slutty anymore and is all of a sudden considered wholesome because her virgin touch purifies things since her only sexual experience was when she used to eat Good Charlotte’s pussy and that was a long time ago….since then it’s been occasional accidental masturbation from when she pressed up against the jet of her jacuzzi for a few minutes longer than she was supposed to…

Either way, here’s everyone’s favorite cowgirl who’s only experience with a horse was back when she was younger and would climb up on her sister’s back and I approve.