Today has been shit. I was at the grocery store trying to buy my wife chocolate cake because she’s into that shit and the woman in line in front of me dropped a 20 dollar bill. I stared at the fucker for what felt like hours dreaming of all the fun I could have with it. I had visions of lap dances, and whiskey and cigars and playing in my head while it just looked back at me begging to be picked up….I looked over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching me, dropped a pack of gum, bent over and grabbed it….I went to the cash, thought I was in the clear when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and told me to give back teh 20 dollars with the bitch who dropped it by his side….I was put on the spot and wasn’t clever enough to get out of it, so I handed it back like the bitch that I am. I suck at life and because of it I am now 20 dollars poorer.
So on the walk home in the rain, I started to daydream about a dude eating fire and everything seemed like it was going to be ok.
I think I have allergies because I live in a disgusting dirty apartment with an inch of shit on the floor, but not actual shit, this apartment has water. There was a time when I was living in an abandoned building with a couple of friends that had running water for the first 2 months we were there, but then the city cut us off and we were forced to shit in the corner. It wasn’t so bad at first because we’d cover it with newspaper like we were puppies, but the more people came over and crashed, the higher the pile got…the smell was pretty fucking sick, but drinking always made it go away….
Anyway, in this time of distress, I like to daydream about a man peeing in public, free from all conventions society imposes on us, like toilets and public washrooms…Sometimes it’s just nice to feel free….
What you don’t see in this video is when the guy goes fucking insane on us for taking his picture, he was threatening to kill me because I was invading his privacy and shit, too bad his dick was hangin out of his pants and he couldn’t really make a move, next time I’ll remember that and capture the shame in his eyes as he loses it on me. Cuddles.
It’s raining and it’s depressing out. I started coughing up what looked like blood today. I may be dying and that’s ok, because when I drift into a day dream not even impending death can throw off my game….
Speaking of having my game thrown of, I got some Cease and Desist about the Aniston Topless pics Perez is getting sued for.
Here is my response. Enjoy.
To my friends and NBC Universal,
I didn’t post any Jennifer Aniston picture. I posted a screenshot from another website that featured her image on the cover of a Magazine called Choc. In this case you may want to run after the magazine in question, or the website I got it from. A blog of my nature does social commentary on various web finds and the laws are grey when it comes to what is freedom of speech and what is copyright infringement online.
Also, the revenue of my website is next to none, my company is based out of another country with different copyright laws you will need to follow and the whole thing is really not worth your effort.
If you choose to sue me, I can always declare bankruptcy, I mean the $14 in my piggy bank won’t get me too far, I could just send it to you personally right now and get it over with.
The publicity that will come from this will take me to the next level and I could represent myself and get featured on Access Hollywood like Perez Hilton.
If you do sue me, do you pay my airfare to California? I’ve always wanted to see the ocean again. It’s been years and I could really use a vacation.
Will this be aired on courtTV? I have seen what lawsuits have done to these bloggers and you have to admit it’s GREAT pr, I guess I should hit the gym cuz I hear the camera adds 10 pounds and I would want to look my best!
This is all very exciting and has added new meaning to my life. Dreams of being a millionaire like Perez seem more possible than ever and I’d love to thank you for this golden opportunity.
I know that I could be scouring the internet lookin’ for bikini pictures that will make you feel better about yourself, but I am too busy googling the word scour to see how I am supposed to spell it. I guess I am also too lazy, but it doesn’t take all that much effort to keep up to date on stories like Lohan Slamming Jude Law and Drinking a Beer meaning she broke her A.A. vow….because every shitty blog has already posted the boring story.
I found out that a couple of people I used to hang with are snorting heroin and have been for the last 5 years, when we hung out they were just doing cocaine. That’s more of a story because they brought the party up a notch. Falling on and off the wagon is what life is all about. We try to do what society tells us, so we stop smoking and drinking to be good citizens, meanwhile we go fucking insane with boredom and reality because being wasted all the time is the way we’re supposed to be living, otherwise booze wouldn’t exist.
Everyone is so fucking lame. The only reason she went to rehab was because of all the negative press she was getting, it’s good damage control for the Christians and people at Disney. It wasn’t because she wanted to stop partying and change her fucking life. It was because she had to pretend she was to get work to be able to support the habit.
Point of all this is to say that I have more interest in slamming Jude Law and I am not that gay, but at least there’s a fucking story there, than listening to people knit pick Lohan apart about drinking a fucking beer. Maybe I am an inadequate celebrity blogger because I’ve actually been drunk for months and know how fun it is and see nothing wrong with her drinking a beer….but I guess I am inadequate at a lot things…
It’s time to slip into a Day Dream….and here is that Day Dream of a Gold Elvis…. Cuddles…
Here are some older pictures of Abi Titmuss in her bikini. I am posting them because I don’t know what to do with myself now that my website is down. I went out last night and got wasted, really wasted, and really really wasted. I don’t remember much but I did end up winning money in a slot machine that I used to get myself even more drunk. I am sure funny things happened to me throughout the night, but I can’t think of them right now, and my site isn’t working so I am too busy crying to type.
Speaking of crying, I saw this dude walking down the street the other day and I can only assume it’s got some sort of middle eastern point to it, either way it’s more interesting than lookin at old pics of some slag in a bikini.
Here are those pics of Abi Titmuss in her bikini from god knows when lookin’ fat because I know that’s all you are here for.
I went to some shitty bar while in the process of getting completely wasted and saw a group of topless dudes and one girl in her bra. It was like the typical frat boy party where one dumb and drunk girl joins into the topless frat boy fun. She always ends up getting raped and beaten and Law and Order or CSI make a show about it. Anyway, this chick is doing shots in her bra and she’s not much of a looker, until her 300 pound friend comes along and starts a fuckin day dream in her bra. Lucky for you, I got the video:
Here are some pics of Jesse Metcalfe, some no name from Desperate Housewives and his girl with a dumpy ass but who would look hot next to a fat chick in her bra a the bar. I guess the real joke is all this is that you’d bang the fat chick in a bra at the bar….I guess that’s not really a joke because it is sad.
My site has been down for 38 hours. Nothing like this has ever happened to me in the 2.5 years I’ve been doing this, but it seems like it is back up and running.
I wrote posts yesterday and today as if I still had a site so for the next 10 posts, you’re going to be confused to shit cuz it’s me bitching about my site being down. It’s kinda like a live-blogging being on a shit server but not as funny because I only thought of that concept now.
I am massively hungover and I have lost a lot of the work that I have put into this site because of the last 37 hours. I hope you can help me bring back the noise then fuck it by telling your friends about me, I know you don’t have friends, but let’s pretend.
Here is the first post of the last 38 hours and it’s a fucking daydream. I guess what I learned in all this is that life isn’t about blogging, it’s about living. Ecstasy changed my life. Not because I did it, but because some sent me a picture of a girl getting a tab of E shoved in her ass and that made my day. If I had a video camera it would have been a daydream, instead you are stuck with this Day Dream of a potential Sex Offender.
If you want to be part of the fun, send in your own day dream clips by Clickin’ This Link…
You may not realize it, but everywhere you go a day dream is going on. I saw 5 today and 10 yesterday but didn’t bring my shitty digital camera out with me. So be a part of the movement slacker.
It’s always a day for a day dream. My dad today was fucking hell trying to deal with the server going down and none of you really care about that. I switched hosting companies even though the 2 dudes who built the site told me that it won’t make a difference and I guess what it all comes down to is that this is a chance for new beginnings provided it all works out the way I am hoping. Let this be a little advice to you, don’t start a website if you don’t know what the fuck you are doing. Don’t go to Staples to fax off a contract when you’ve never used a fax machine. Don’t let your gay webdesigner take you out for soup that made me think I was dying. Don’t smoke 3 cheap cigars in a row, unless you want to get cigar poisoned and don’t take a nap unless you want to wake up with your fat wife’s finger in your ass, trying to get sexy when all you want to do is shit all over the place, so you do.
Here’s today’s daydream – I hope you love it as much as I do.
There comes a time in every useless bloggers life that you realize that they are actually a blogger and shame is the only feeling you feel. It’s probably one of the most embarrassing things to tell people you meet because all they think is how fucking lame someone who thinks their self-righteous opion must be even when your blog reaches 100,000 people a day, they still think to themselves how much of a fucking loser you are because you have a blog.
I am running off about 3 hours of sleep, I haven’t been able to figure out why my server is dying or why my site is dying. Unlike real bloggers, I don’t have any concept of technology related things. It too me 4 years to figure out how to make a hyperlink. That’s not the point the point is that we all have dreams and mine wasn’t to be a blogger and I can assume this dude’s dream wasn’t to end up like this.
That’s what’ makes it today’s GO daydream installment which is safe to say may be the next biggest thing on the internet.
I guess I lied when I said I was going to give up on the Daydream series before I even started. I think it’s too good to throw out the window like I have done with most of the feature I have launched. Today’s Daydream is of some homeless lookin’ dude looking through the garbage because let’s face it, who doesn’t sit in class daydreaming of this. The time of daydreams of nice cars, hot bitches, lots of money, let’s be a little more realistic with our dreams.
I am feeling pretty sick and I am about to go write a post on Drew Barrymore’s bikini, that’s really not much of a dream, but it’s what I do to make you assholes come back at least once every couple of months.
I started a new series called DayDream. It’s pretty easy to understand the concept, yesterday’s daydream was someone getting arrested and today’s daydream is someone who isn’t getting paid, which isn’t really a daydream because I am not getting paid either. I think it’s a good concept, the goal is a daydream a day but with my consistency, this feature will probably end with this post…
The video player isn’t working for everyone, if it’s not working comment and I’ll post it somewhere else. I am that accommodating.
I can’t focus on the screen and just at a whole bag of chips for dinner, they were on sale for 69 cents a bag and I stocked up as much as I could. I am a pretty good at budgeting. I spent a good part of my night talking to some crackhead who was snorting Xanax on the phone while telling me about doing coke with Lohan 3 years ago. It was her claim to fame. She told me not to post this video of my friend getting arrested because no one wants to be seen getting arrested on the internet, but I figure if you don’t want people getting arrested, you shouldn’t get arrested in the first place. I don’t know what he did, but I am pretty sure it wasn’t doing blow with Lohan in her hotel room….
