I just heard that Heath Ledger was found dead in his apartment in NYC today at 3 pm today. I figured that I’d post an RIP because that shit is fucked. They aren’t releasing any information in how he died, but I am guessing it is all Michelle Williams’ fault for filing divorce with him or Lohan’s fault for giving herpes that could have lead to a drug overdose or suicide and I keep wanting to make a joke about him getting AIDS in Brokeback Mountain, but this dude’s got a two year old daughter and now she’ll be growing up without a daddy and that shit is not worth laughing about, so unfortunately this cowboy has taken the final ride into the sunset, but you’re still alive so enjoy it.

Known Heroin addict and child star Brad Renfro was found dead in his home at 9 am this morning by his girlfriend. I guess the real issue is who the fuck is showing up at anyone’s house at 9 in the fucking morning I think there are rules against that shit.

Either way, he was in Bully and a few other movies like The Client and Apt Pupil and now his next role is going to be 6 feet under….

Self Destruction is a sad thing, but when self destruction actually works and the motherfucker dies, I have little sympathy. If he was found dead because of cancer or AIDS or a heart defect or a car accident or foul play or some shit, I’d be a little nicer, but this selfish heroin bullshit is just drawn out suicide that isn’t fair to the people who actually love the motherfucker…That said, the cause of death is unknown….and it’s probably bad luck if I don’t say Rest in Peace Motherfucker.

So in the wake off all the lesbian haters who have started coming to the site and emailing me rude man hating comments, this post is for you. You’ll be happy to know that an innovator in the wife-beating movement has passed away today. It took a while for it to happen, but now you’ve got what you prayed for, murderer.

For the rest of us, Ike Turner, a man who knew a woman’s place in the world has sadly passed away. We’ve lost a man who could really push the envelop and cultivate a woman’s talent and sexuality to lure in international success. He made himself rich while keeping her in-line, because let’s face it, without Ike to police her behavior, there’d be no Tina Turner.

You all may be blinded by the over-glamorized version of their story from the Hollywood version, but none of us know what really went on, or what Tina did to deserve what she got, what we do know is that it was probably worth taking, because look at her now. Without Ike, there’d never be a movie about them, she’d never be one of the biggest acts in show biz, she’d probably be singing in the local piano bar for free 2 nights a week, while showing off those legs while serving plates at the local diner.

What it comes down to, is that if he was such a bad guy, and if Tina actually hated the motherfucker for being such a bad guy, and if she didn’t feel she owed her life and career to him, would she still use his last name…..so you can all hate, but me and Tina know what’s up. You’re just blinded by your lesbian feminist women studies bullshit. Cuddles.

Rest in Peace, Motherfucker.

I just found out that Evel Knieval died today. The reason I am posting it is because I think I was involved in it somehow because I made a Knieval joke yesterday to a group of 18 year old girls and I don’t really remember how it went, but they had no idea who he was so it didn’t really work as a joke.. When I told them he was a daredevil who was big in the 70s, they were just like “the 70s!?! Is he dead yet” and I said probably.

I know that assuming I have that kind of power is a little insane, but it makes me feel like I’ve got a purpose and it’s a weird coincidence because Evel Knieval doesn’t really enter my thoughts that often. So R.I.P. Evel. I didn’t mean to kill you and if I remembered my Knieval joke from yesterday to pay my final respects, I’d write it now but I don’t, because I am hungover but I’m sure you won’t mind, since you’re dead.

Read about it HERE