Hayden Panettiere would like to thank the photoshop artist for removing her Adam’s Apple and her scrotum pussy lip slip in this bikini photoshoot for Details. I’m not saying she’s a man, I’m just saying she’s got more testosterone than a man and that slowly makes her body transform into some hybrid gender. The good news is that despite the impending male pattern baldness, she’s got the sex drive of a fuckin’ 30 year old fat chick who hasn’t been fucked since she was 18 and has been wanting to ever since, and it doesn’t make you gay, even when she makes you suck her clit like it was a preschooler’s dick. I don’t know how I feel about using “prechooler’s dick” in a sentence, but I just did it. I guess I’m crazy.

Shannen Doherty did a Details Magazine photoshoot and I think it’s pretty safe to say that her time is done. These remind me of some kind of Sears Catalog portraits only the trying to be sexy Flea Market version that you’d see above your trashy friend’s cocktail waitress mom’s bed, or that you’d see a fat middle aged mother getting done for her blue collar husband on their 20th wedding anniversary to show him that she’s still got it going on while trying to compete with the posters of cheesy fake titty sluts that he has all over his garage. The only thing that is worth anything is the Orange juice in the picture, but in all fairness to Shannen Doherty, I haven’t drank juice in months, my wife won’t buy the shit and I think I have scurvy and my body is craving vitamin C, but that doesn’t change the fact that her time’s pretty much done.