I don’t watch Dancing With The Has-Beens and the Never Was….It’s all media hype, I’m convinced targeted to middle America Wal Mart employees and trailer park dwellers with their wide screen tvs. I just can’t imagine anyone giving a fuck about watching nobodies in dance…but it’s popular and my twitter was blowing up with the shit all night…so I guess I’m wrong about the show…

I’m just not wrong about it being some long hanging fruit people hoping for a second wind in the flacid penis that is their career…

So the two breakout nobodies are Kristen Cavalair and Elisabetta Canalis in terms of sex appeal, and the rumor is that you can judge a girl’s fuck by her dance moves, so here they are….saving you the headache of watching the shit on tv…

Kristen Cavalari

Elisabetta Canalis

Chaz Bono