Here’s pregnant 35 year old Elsa Pataky looking hot in a bikini – she’s married to some actor who played Thor and prior to him she dated Adrien Brody…which I guess was her groupie move to propel her to such great roles as the hot girl in Snakes on a Plane…..

Now I normally hate pregnancy for all the obvious reasons, but realize than when the pregnancy is on a fit bitch….and it is her first pregnancy….so I know her body and pussy isn’t ruined…I can appreciate it more than the mother of 3 I met in the bar talking about how she’s been trying to get pregnant with her fourth kid on the 15, 17, 18 of this month…all pig faced and full of cum…

Nothing like a pregnant chick on a waterslide….to get me excited that she may slip up, lose the baby and thus save her vagina…leading me to believe if I was a superhero, that’d be by quest…vagina saver thru miscarriage enducer…

I feel like this post makes my one female reader happy, but that’s just cuz she had a botched abortion and can’t have babies of her own, so she looks at pregnant chicks as the devil mocking her inadequacies…but it probably upsets all the other girls….cuz I’m a horrible horrible man…

That said, here’s preggers Elsa Pataky in a bikini…

Here’s Elsa Pataky, some bitch I’m not really familiar with because even bitches I am familiar with I forget. She’s wearing some classy stripper between sets outfit that I doubt any stripper actually wears, you know since strippers are tacky, trash who like being half naked, except when they leave work and squeeze into some ill fiting velour sweat suit like African drug dealers….so maybe this is more brothel wares….shit you’d expect a geisha to wear between sessions.. not that it matters…..who cares about the robe…just be happy her nipples are hard in it..cuz that’s the whole point of silk on braless tits…not that there is enough nipple in these pics….obviously…but it is the best I can do with the resources I have….possibly contributing to the demise of this site… THAT’S WHY I’M STARTING A CAREER IN SMUT

This bitch won some hottest pussy of the year award and based on her face. I feel a little ripped off…because the hottest pussy in my mind looks a lot hotter than this…unless of course they were literally talking about her pussy…in which case I have no opinion since all pussy is pretty amazing, even the meaty ones with dick clits and too much lip….and these pictures of her aren’t helping me figure her labia out like it was some kind of riddle, murder mystery dinner party, sodoku puzzle or whatever else in life confuses me that I can’t think of cuz I am hung over..cuz bitch don’t let us look up her skirt like real fame hungry bitches do…and it’s all cuz she thinks she’s in and thinks she’s a made woman….when reality is that I don’t even know who the fuck she is…

I don’t know who Elsa Pataky is. I know I have googled her name before but whatever she does, just doesn’t stick, but I do know that I like her style, cuz short skirts are meant to be used as a seemingly innocent way to flash cunt, it’s the whole point of the fuckin’ things, otherwise a bitch would just wear pants, so who she is and whatever she does, I know she’s a fucking success today…next time let’s hope she slides the panties over a little…makes shit more interesting….

Pics via Fame

I have a friend who used to fuck armpits, he was obsessed with pit fucking, it was more than just his fetish, the motherfucker just would never shut up about the shit, it would get really annoying, it’s like he loved the smell of the armpit, the stubble, and if he found a girl built like this, with a pussy in her armpit, we probably wouldn’t have made fun of him and call him weird as much as we did, in fact he probably would still be alive today, cuz he would have never killed himself for thinking he was so weird for only being able to get off to armpit.

If you’re wondering what happened to Elsa Pataky, the Spanish chick from Snakes on a Plane, because it was such a revolutionary movie that you watched over and over again because you have nothing else to do with your time, it turns out she was fucking Adrien Brody’s nose, probably in hopes of it leading to better roles than Snake on a Plane, but they’ve broke up and now she’s walking around on set in a one-piece, which may not be naked, but is better than nothing which is probably the same rationale she had when she took that role in Snakes on a Plane, cuz I guess shit may have been better than nothing….

Pics via Fame

You know when you see a hot fucking young piece of ass walking down the street with some old ugly motherfucker and you don’t understand what the hell they are doing with them until you see them both get into a convertible Porsche and drive off with smiles on their faces and the wind in their hair, then it all makes sense….The hot slut is a gold digging whore and can see past the dudes obvious deformities by convincing herself that they are charming or cute because they fuckin’ deformity comes with a platinum card.

Elsa Pataky is the pretty much the same story only instead of a convertible, dude’s got an academy award and instead of being old and ugly, dude looks a fuckin’ cartoon sketch you get drawn of you at the fair. I guess that academy award comes with a whole lot more perks than just Porsche, like star treatment internationally, or maybe vacation houses everywhere and lots of down time to fuck and that’s a pretty good trade off for this hot pussy.

So if you’re tired of being a piece of shit loser no one gives a fuck about, you should just go out there an win an academy award and all the pussy will just fall in your lap without anywork despite your ridiculously small penis.