Here’s Heidi’s fake tits, to match her fake hair at her fake Finale party, with her fake husband that she has been fake dating for the last few years in her fake life. The only thing real in all this is that the dress is probably designer, and not a fake imitation, because it turns out the public like lies and lies make people very fucking rich.

That’s not to say it’s a nice dress, I don’t know this fashion shit, but this is Heidi Montag, so I can only assume it is some tacky trashy stripper shit you’d find at a sex shop, but it is to say that all this combined makes this bitch a lot smarter than you and me and that’s pretty fucking depressing.

I guess The Hills are still on. I was convinced that because Heidi Montag was for McCain, Obama would have been smart enough to say if he wins he will abolish that bullshit show, up until today, I thought that was the only reason he won, but it turns out the bullshit is still being produced and these regular people who are hired to act, but can’t act, further making the show seem contrived and orchestrated, but for some reason people still fuckin’ watch it. I hope it’s because of the entertainment value of seeing big ol’ fake titties making fools of themselves in some really bad, tedious joke, because otherwise, despite Obama’s win, I still have no fuckin’ hope for America.

Other than that, Audrina’s got a good body, and deserves some credit where credit is due, because being skinny and having fake tits is really the American Dream, I am falling asleep as I type this so I should probably just stop. Audrina, drinking and not sleeping have that effect on me, they work their way into my core, and paralyze me…..

Christina Aguilera brought her tits out to some event with her handsome rich boyfriend, because besides from her singing voice, they really are the only thing keeping her around in these hard economic times. I am not a fan of big tits especially when they are wasted on rich weasel lookin’ motherfuckers, but there will always be a place in my col black heart for Christina Aguilera, because that girl will always be the Genie in a Bottle who I want to rub the right way to me. Sure, her life has taken a horrible downward spiral since those glory days, but most of the girls I ever got with were pretty much at their worst, so here’s to hoping this trend continues because if I get my way, which I never do, I’ll be hiding in her backyard watching her sun tan topless while she cries, before the police get called.

Shauna Sand brought her novelty tits out in a see through dress the other day. Her other novelty act is juggling balls while balancing on 9 inch heels and swinging around a brass pole, but no one gets to see that, because she’s scared it will take away from her image as an unattainable sex object and make us look at her like she’s some kind of clown with silly make-up on. Oh wait…she is some kind of clown with silly make-up on in high heels after juggling that dude’s balls in her mouth, I guess I got my story screwed up, kinda like how Shauna Sand got her childhood dreams as a street whore screwed up, and ended up living in a big house in Hollywood, only in her case her fuck up ended up with a happy ending, while mine just left me with this really shitty post, but in my defense, who really reads my annoying commentary when all you really came for is the pictures….I quit.

Kellie Pickler, like VIda Guerra got a set of fake tits with the little money she made at American Idol and I guess that makes her the hottest girl in the town of 50 people she’s from. She’ll be lucky enough to marry the farmer who had the biggest output last season who lives in luxury compared to his neighbors because he has running water in the shack he lives in.

I guess as much as I make fun of Pickler for being a retard, she was probably the hottest thing to ride her mule through American Idol and despite having a relationship so close to her grandfather cuz her parents were deadbeats or died in a farming accident, that he even shaves her lil coochie for her, which seems creepy to us city folk, but where they are from is normal since she’s not his actual daughter and playing with your daughter’s coochie would cross the incest line from their backwoods community, but laying with your grand daughter’s coochie is ok, but in his defense he was the best damn sheep shearer in the county.

What I am trying to say is that she sings country and lives country and that’s something a lot more commendable than whatever the fuck Jessica Simpson is doing. Here are her big new tits while she signs some kind of pool table, god knows why, but who really cares, just look at her tits.

So Pam Anderson is a aging inspiration to sluts rockin’ the pole everywhere. It is hope that their Playboy tattoos will end up paying themselves off many times over by leading to a centerfold that leads to a shitty acting career that makes them enough money to be luxurious sluts on an international level instead of their local town and trailer park they are from. She is also an inspiration as a pioneer to people like Paris Hilton and every girl with a digital camera that they too can find success with homemade porn.

I was sitting at an intersection today, not in the intersection the way you’d want me to be sitting in hopes that the pain from this site ends, and this car pulls up with a decal that read “Life Coaching” next to a scenic mountainscape or someshit. I looked the car over and shit was a beat up Hyundai from the early 90s, the dude driving the car was bald, in glasses, about 60 years old, in a cheap fucking suit and about 250 pounds and I thought that that’s the kind of guy that could really help me achieve the life I want because he’s fuckin’ livin’ it.

I guess in a lot of ways, I’m just a bleached blonde, fake tittied slut, and he is my Pamela Anderson but I forgot to write down the number so I guess I’ll just have to coach myself through this life. Oh well.

Audrina has caught on that showing off her fake tits get her attention and help her stand out amongst her co-stars and make a name for herself and for a simple spoiled brat from an upper middle class family who had a dream of being in Playboy and the means to get fake tits, that means a lot. Most of the girls I know with implants just had them done to make more money stripping, but it turns out that they were just selling themselves short and all it takes is a dream.

I know most dudes value a chick for the size of her tits, but I am just not that kind of objectifying superficial guy, because I value chicks on other things, mainly the condition of their pussies and I know that despite Aguilera having a rockin’ set of big fake tits, I just can’t fall into her manipulative trap not only because I hate fake tits, but because I know her pussy’s not doing so well considering the whole baby thing.

I guess the other thing I like about a girl is one that doesn’t look like some kind of bleached, haggard monster with blood stained lips but that’s usually something I can look past because it’s not gay to let a transexuals suck your dick, it’s only gay if they do it with their boner in their hand.

I was stuck sitting next to a couple that was making out hard at the bar last night. Every time the annoying dude would get his tongue down the bitches throat or his hand up her shirt her fatter friend would come in and break them up because I thought she didn’t like seeing her friend fall for this loser’s shitty game because she was fat and fat girls like attention but it turned out that she was jealous and wanted the loser for herself and they were pretty much fighting over him, that never happens to me, I don’t know how it ended because I couldn’t deal with that kind of Soap Opera drama when I just wanted to get drunk and break things.

That story has nothing to do with Audrina Patridge and her fake tits that her dad got her when she was 16, at least that’s what I was told, but like the fat chick no one should give this bitch the time of day, but for some reason there’s always some asshole lame enough to inflate her ego and that asshole is you because you find this shit hot, when all I see is last week’s kitchen garbage.

I saw an old lady on a date with a young black dude. I guess they could really have a connection and met in a normal wholesome way, but I like to think she’s doing it to be adventurous and naughty as her sexual peak teeters off. She’s probably trying to fill a void but not the void of being lonely and feeling undesirable after being dumped by her successful husband for a younger hotter model, but the void that is her vagina after having 3 kids and 4 decades of use. It’s probably a big ol’ mess in her lacy underwear she bought after getting a brazilian in hopes of gettin’ new dick.

Speaking of old ladies, here’s a picture of Jordan lookin’ fucking old and haggard. I won’t let her club slut version of a 7 year old girl’s outfit throw me off but I will let her tits throw me…kick me…suffocate me and pretty much do anything they want to me, not because I like retarded fake tits but because they look like they have a life of their own and a whole lot of attitude, kinda like her little boyfriend in his Ed Hardy shirt….because when a dude wears Ed Hardy you know he means business and by business I mean gay sex.

You know what the world is missing, sluts who are bleached blond and have fake tits. I feel like I don’t see enough of these kinds of girls every time I leave my fucking house and hit up the strip club or every time I land on a porn site and I don’t even live in LA where I can only imagine these kinds of girls are the norm, but I will never know, because I traveling is too much work for me.

Whenever I see a girl who looks like this, I try to think about her motivation, even though instinctively, I assume they are too stupid to have motivations, but I still wonder if she is trying to be a sex object from the 90s like Anna Nicole Smith, Pam Anderson or Jenna Jameson that every guy wants to fuck and if so, who the fuck told her that that is what guys want to fuck. I know girls like to be the girl guys look at and want to fuck, but maybe that had nothing to with her look and she came up with it all on her own and this shit isn’t trying to look like anyone, it’s just them being themselves and the fake tits were purchased by them because they liked them and it wasn’t to make themselves feel better about themselves and it wasn’t because they were insecure about having small uneven tits that took away from guys wanting to fuck them or because they know big tits are a good way to draw in all the chachi and frat boy attention. Maybe they rock slutty clothing, because they are comfortable having their tits hanging out and showing the world their cunts, and not because people will look their way thinkin’ “fuck I want my dick in that”. Maybe the spend hours in front of the mirror doing their hair and make-up because cosmetology is a fucking passion of theirs and it’s got nothing to do with trying to cover up any flaw they may have or enhance features they think people will noticed enhanced and want to cum all over…

I am sure being a fake tit girl with bleached blond hair has nothing to do with being insecure and craving male attention, I am sure it’s just a style thing and I haven’t got any real issues with it, because the more insecure sluts there are in the world, the more chances you have in getting laid, and I am a fan of you getting laid because I don’t want my 3 reader team sucking at life like I do. It reflects badly on me and I like Victoria Silvstedt at the World Music Awards 2 days ago, care about our public image. That’s why she lets Greek Midget Billionaires eat her out in public and sues me for posting the pics…and doesn’t just get into porn and encourage all the publicity she can get. She’s classy. Cunt.

I am all about young sluts because they are insecure and easy to get naked. They are also raised on porn and start banging when they are 12 making them pretty experienced by the time they hit 20. The world is going to shit and everyone is going to die of AIDS, even if AIDS is a made up disease and doesn’t really exist.

Speaking of AIDS, my friend is a DJ at a gay club and he gets laid from every angle every weekend, but not from the fags but from the hot chicks who hang with fags because fags are trendy and hot chicks think having a fag makes them cooler, like an expensive purse or some shit. Anyway, these hot chicks accompany their fags to clubs and since fags are bigger sluts than the hot sluts are they are usually left alone in the corner and that’s when the predators like me move in because we aren’t gay and just want to see them on all fours in the bathroom stall, because we are in a gay club after all and have to keep shit classy.

Either way, this Adele Silva chick is unknown to me, but she looks young and has implants because that’s the generation we live in, a generation of sluts. It’s like the sexual revolution or some shit….and for some reason you still can’t get laid and least you can always jerk off to other people getting laid, that shits pretty accessible, just hit up Google.

I heard that this bitch had fake tits and that she was the daughter or stepdaughter of some footballer who obviously has enough money to land a slut a decent pair of tits for her 16th birthday if he really wanted to, but by looking at the pictures these are probably the worst set of fake tits I’ve seen in a while.

Sure they aren’t as bad as this whore I used to fuck who had one of her implants explode causing her all kinds of fucking chronic pain and shit I didn’t care to hear her complain about because I was paying her for her time but the thing I was concerned with was the fact that the one that had ruptured was fucking purple and black and looked pretty fucking infected. I guess the story goes that you get what you pay for and she learnt that lesson by buying cheap tits and I learnt that lesson by hiring cheap whores.

Either way, I love what fake tits do to a girl. They make them crazy. It’s like all their life they’ve been insecure about being topless, about low cut shirts, about whether guys will like them or not and they have blamed their small tits for their unhappiness so the second they can walk out with their new tits, shit hits the fucking fan and they go nuts. It’s overcompensation and usually gives me a headache unless their overcompensation allows me to look and touch their new purchase…

I knew this girl who got implants who worked a normal job, she was a receptionist or some shit and made a decent living. She had a nice place to live and she had enough money to put aside 5,000 dollars for new tits because one tit was smaller than the other and it really made her feel like shit about herself. She ended up getting the new tits and within 3 months of it she was stripping and addicted to meth. True story and that’s all I have to say about this.