It is Fashion Week in Milan and with Fashion comes nipples. This is the basis of my jerking off on Hungover Sundays a few years ago because it was on the only channel I got. I’d sit there with dick in hand, waiting for the sheer shirt to come down the runway, knowing that in my own way I was a fashionista, because I really appreciated that part of the industry, if anything, I was an expert….

It’s like they get away with nipples in public, while other professions have to do it on seedy stages or in back alleys, or hotel rooms….Shit is so luxurious that it’s blined people from realizing tits are a huge deal the Christian church want to oppress because men view tit as sexual objects, when in reality, we all just need to lighten the fuck up and make vagina the new body part girls expose in their stupid outfits…cuz I’ve always been more a pussy-man than a breast or ass-man….

It’s been a shitty day for celebrity jerk off material, so I figured I’d do what I used to do back when I had a TV and couldn’t find a music video that got me hard, or a french movie that had a nude, or a female figure skating competition to jerk off to, so I’d tune into the fashion channel where no matter what time of day at least one nameless model would be in a dress that was see thru and one nipple would be enough to make me cum.

Now this is a whole new generation, this site isn’t the only site online, and if anything you landed here accidentally, and if this was TV, I wouldn’t have been given a digital channel like I was Ted Turner, but I like to think you came thru lookin for something hot, and you’re probably already gone and jerking off to tranny porn you are into, but consider this fashion show nipple a little throwback to a simpler time, you know back when cumming was easier and less distracting with way less options….

Pics via LFI

Girls make me laugh because they are so fucking competitive and in that competitiveness they step up their game, especially when going to the Victoria’s Secret fashion show, because they know that they need to compete with the sluts on the runway to get noticed. So every year, without fail, the attendees show up wearing less clothes than usual, all in spirit of the event, and to try to get some of the male attention after every dude in the place walks out of the show with a boner, you know like a bottom feeder trying to make herself feel better about the fact that she wasn’t on stage. It’s all very funny to me and here are some pics of the people who slutted up to sit in the audience at the show…I don’t know who any of these bitches are and it really doesn’t matter…and I am sure there were more bitches dressed like sluts in attendence, I just didn’t bother looking cuz I think these prove my point well enough for my level of laziness….

Pics via Fame

Here’s the Victoria’s Secret fashion show pictures. Now you don’t have to watch the shit when it hits TV, the reason we should boycot the televised version is simply because they are making way too much fucking money off this shit and they are doing it by putting half nude chicks in front of us and we bite because our lives are miserable….but remember if we put these motherfuckers out of business, these models will be out of work and all they know is how to get naked for money…which means good fucking things. I’m not punk rock and I’m not a hippie but I do say FUCK THE MAN because the MAN has fucked us by not letting these girls be the accessible immigrant prostitutes they were destined to be. It is our chance to fight back.

So Ambrosio, Ebanks, Kerr, Iman, Goulart, Barros, Heatherton, Kroes…not that their names matter since they all have one collective name and that name is “SLUT” were all working their panties off and here are the pics…

BONUS THAT MAY NOT BE A BONUS – FERGIE COPYING ALL THE POPSTARS AND ISN’T WEARING PANTS

Pics via Bauer

The Victoria’s Secret fashion show is being shot today, so that means all the models are together getting their hair and make-ip done and Victoria’s Secret has started their PR Machine to draw as much attention as possible to their, on the grand scheme of things, totally insignificant event that just wastes millions of dollars that could have gone to some good in helping the people in the Factory towns their bullshit product is made, instead of white washing it and distracting the American People with tits, glitz and glam…but I figure some of you will want to see the pre-performance pictures…..so…..

If you’re anything like my friend who parks outside hair salons in a van and masturbates looking onto woman getting their hair played with, this is for you.

If you just like seeing Doutzen Kroes bad skin because she is photoshopped to shit in all her pictures and seeing her imperfections makes her seemingly more accessible to you, then this is for you.

If you just like seeing what these “hot” bitches do for work and how much of a fucking joke it is, then this is for you.

Those are the only reasons I can assume anyone would care about this shit…and here are the pics…..

Selita Ebanks

Miranda Kerr

Behati Prinsloo

Pics via Bauer

I used to masturbate to some Fashion TV show. It was on every Sunday when I was dying hungover or still drunk on the only channel I got, so I guess I have a deep loving relationship with skinny bitches walking the runway showing off body parts because of all the good they have done for me all those years.
Sure, I had to really focus and train myself to get off to these really tall, almost scary lookin bitches, but after I got into the routine, it was all I really was into, making my wife and other chubby girls I could convince to fuck me seem like fucking pigs.
So fashion week was going down in Paris and I figured I’d throw up some pics of half naked tall skinny chicks, cuz it was porn to me when porn wasn’t readily available and it may be porn to you even when porn is available.

Pics via Fame

Here is Miranda Kerr on the runway in what looks like it could be a bikini because that is her fucking job….and I wish people found my job interesting enough to take pictures of and write about on the internet, cuz I want to feel fuckin’ important, but for some reason fat dudes dying on a computer don’t inspire people to masturbate, but girls who model bikinis do. I guess that’s why she makes more money than me….so if anything these pictures inspire me to go out there and find ways to get people to masturbate to me, because then maybe I’ll get paid. Not that you care about my problems, I don’t even care about my problems, but I do care about tits.

I couldn’t make it out to the Polo event despite all the pestering phone calls I got from all the boys at the country club who just couldn’t handle me refusing to take the corporate jet down to Miami. I guess because Polo isn’t for me.

The truth is that I can’t even afford a fucking Polo shirt, let alone a horse to ride around on with a giant club in some kind of obnoxious sport created by rich people who were bored and had nothing else to do while sitting around all day being rich.

Apparently, they are sexing the sport up a little and had girls modeling some boy shorts making me think that maybe there’s a future in the mainstream for Polo after all, because from my experience all it takes is pussy to be that stamp of approval anything really needs.

I don’t mind models, you know especially if they are the bikini or lingerie kind, it means they usually have decent bodies, or at least bodies you’d want to see half naked, not that I don’t mind seeing any body half naked, at least once, because I think it makes me a better person. Unfortunately, in my line of poverty and almost homelessness, meeting bikini and lingerie models is about as common as one of my friends winning the lottery, sure it probably happens, but I haven’t seen it.

Here is some model busting out of her top at some Fashion Show…

Billabong doesn’t really bring up images of sexy, big breasted, tight body bikini girls to my mind. Usually the girls who rock this shit are either chubby in a tankini with the bike short bottoms or butchy action sports chicks who chug beer, have fart contests with their homies while playing video games like one of the guys, so I wasn’t too surprised when I came across these Billabong Fashion show pictures, because despite not being too manly, these girls are pretty horse-like, I’m talking they took them straight from the Heidi Montag family, and I am posting them cuz you’d probably give anything to ride them into the sunset, cowboy.

Ed Hardy is the cheesiest fucking thing around. It attracts the cheesiest fucking people and the only good thing about cheesy fucking people is that they dance on bar tables in little Ed Hardy skirts, showing the world their big fake tits in their Ed Hardy low cut shirts and assholes winkin’ at me out of their Ed Hardy thongs, while drinking bottles of Grey Goose with Jimbo’s and chachi motherfuckers, who are also in Ed Hardy everything from head to fucking toe and who think they are fucking rockstars, but don’t realize that they look like total twats, because all their fellow Ed Hardy cult members keep giving them positive attention and props because of their 300 dollar t-shirts that looks like some kind of crazed silk screener threw up rhinestones, sequins, paint, gels and gold foil all over the shit….but I guess the brand’s done something genius, because it’s tricked the lame masses into thinking they need the shit to fit in and it’s become this massively embarrassing movement, that I am sure has made a bunch of people rich as these strippers, 9 to 5 millionaires and Italians have spend their paychecks on the shit, because they think they need it…..

Ed Hardy had a fashion show and it wasn’t as slutty as 99% of the tacky bitches who rock this shit around here, but it’s still worth posting because Ed Hardy offends me even when they get girls in underwear struttin’ their shit….it’s a fucking joke and you’ve all fallen for it…

I had no idea the Victoria’s Secret fashion show was happening this weekend, I don’t really keep on top of anything, but I noticed that on Thursday and Friday a lot of pictures of the models together were surfacing, so it only made sense that when they got them all in one room together, Victoria’s Secret milked them for everything they could since they pretty much own these bitches.

Sure, they have good bodies, but after an hour of lookin at these pictures, I got fucking bored. Maybe I am gay, maybe all this is repetitive, maybe I only find Adriana Lima hot, maybe I need to see pussy to really appreciate lingerie pictures, you know use them as a little masturbation foreplay before working up to these girls spread open with dick in their mouths, but I guess these are better than nothing…..

The truth is I find Klum washed up, Marisa Miller looks like a college party girl on her 35th birthday, Miranda Kerr’s got a face of an Owl, Ambrosio’s a mom, Naomi Campbell a monster and the rest of the immigrants found in various third world countries aren’t really known to me so I can’t really formulate an opinion.

I am down with the Rihanna dominatrix style in some of the pictures, you know the metal corsets and straps and boots, but I really don’t think this shit is anything worth getting excited about.

Just so you, I don’t get into these pictures because my wife is hotter than these bitches and I share a bed with her every night, but I’m not braggin’ because she’s only hotter than they are because she’s pumps out more head than a portable heater. I thank obesity for that shit…..here are some of the pics your virginity has probably already seen, saved and printed because they are everywhere, including MSN.com, so I’m just the slowest site out there, and I am okay with that….maybe if I had a job or responsibilities I’d care a little more….but that’s never going to happen, so you’ll have to be satisfied with the day old bargain bin I buy my baked goods out of….but the internet version….if you know what I mean…..

Guess who just woke up still drunk from the Thanksgiving party I had for myself last night that involved drinking and a turkey that wasn’t so much of a turkey but more of a bottle of Whiskey……Here’s some Australian model named Miranda Kerr modeling some bikinis. It’s Thanksgiving and I figured I should throw something up for you fuckers, because I have a feeling that the 6 of you are the kinds of guys who don’t get invited to family functions and ever if you were, you’d be uncomfortable leaving your computer for the amount of time it would take to eat dinner and because I am in Canada and it’s a work day for everyone here, not that that really has much influence on the way I live my life as is now, cuz this isn’t a fuckin’ job.

Either way, I’ve decided that Vagina is my poison, but that’s just because I’ve only been with disgusting girls and like to joke about how I only bag dirt, like a gardener or a hippie with a compost pile in his self containted organic living compound. But then I remember that joke isn’t funny and cry instead because I realize that I suck at life and would like to give thanks for that.

I don’t know when these Miranda Kerr Bikini Pictures were taking, but she’s hot right now and I am into hot girls, so that’s my post.

Here’s a big surprise for you, I had no idea that the Victoria’s Secret fashion show was going down last night because I am bad at this shit and generally don’t really care about shit that’s going on. So it was a morning email surprise and now I have a ton of pictures of the event to share with you, so you don’t have to watch the shit when it hits your TV later in the year, or whenever the fuck they air them because your mom will probably be watching them too, and it’s always embarrassing getting a boner with your mom on the couch next to you.

Either way I usually feel like a virgin faggot when I finish writing a post on cleavage or hot asses, because I am more into creeping on girls in real life than writing shit about celebrities I don’t care about on the internet, but the difference in this post is that I do care. I have a thing for Bikini and Lingerie models that you probably understand and have made a point in my life to marry one. Since that never worked out for me I’ve always dated half-rate, discount, bargain basements, last weeks kitchen garbage, versions of bikini models, because let’s face it, my wife would have it going on if she got Gastric Bypass, lost 200 lbs and got surgery to remove the excess skin that left huge scars and stretch marks all over her body, breast implants and maybe even a new face and time machine that turned her 25 again….so in a lot of ways I guess I am dating a Lingerie/Bikini model, I just don’t know it because I am too negative to see what I have before my eyes because she’s fucking disgusting lookin….when if I look really deep, beneath all that disgusting is a hot girl suffocating to death….

Bonus – Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham and Geri “Ginger Spice” Haliwell Performing at Half Time…..

I love girls who love lingerie and it seems like all girls I ever met have huge collections of it, other than drug addicts with no money and who sell or soil their 2 pairs of underwear that they wash in public bathrooms to stay fresh but beyond the addiction love lingerie. Girls tend to have more panty drawers in their dresser than they have dude’s who want to fuck them in their phone and I am all for watching them try on every single piece they own. The shit makes them feel sexy and glamorous and makes me feel like the creep that I am, because I’m watching from the tree in their backyard with a set of binoculars, but I can still make out what’s going down and I am all for that, at least when they are rockin’ it for me and not for some other homeboy.

Jessica Simpson was there lookin hot….because she’s a Christian girl gone bad….and I love those.

Vanessa Hudgens was there researching what to wear next in her sleazy self-shot pictures with Zac Efron who was there pretending he likes women in lingerie when he’s more into wearing it himself cuz he’s gay.

Joanna Krupa was there…..because she actually gets paid to wear lingerie because she is hot….

Dita Von Teese was there….even though no one wants to see her in lingerie…but she is strips down into lingerie every chance she gets….

Kristen Bell was there but I still don’t know who she is….

Amanda Bynes was there showing off her legs