I am scared of Kimbo Slice and since he’s some kind of internet phenomenon with all his backyard brawls that he destroys people in, I figured those of you who missed his fight this past weekend, and who get off on seeing dudes get their asses kicked, would want to see this.

All I know about Kimbo Slice is that he worked as a bodyguard for the porn company RK Networks, who do shit like Bang Bus and Bang Bros and Milf Hunter and all the porn you jerk off to and now he’s a 34 year old professional thug who I won’t make fun of because even I have my limits especially when it comes to making fun of crazy big people, except when I am drunk. I almost got in a fight this weekend after drinking a bottle of vodka. I slipped and fell on some thug who was carrying a street sign that he was going to use on some guy’s face. I didn’t realize dude was carrying a weapon and thought he was just being a drunken jackass who wasn’t on the kind of murderous rampage he was on and I tried to steal his sign from him being the annoying drunk that I am. I don’t remember what happened after that – but I don’t think dude beat me up because I’m still here even though I woke up at 9 am in a snowbank. That’s just the way I’m livin’ and it beat sleeping with my furnace of a wife because dirty snow smells better than dirty fat pussy.