I am in Canada and by being in Canada, surrounded by ice, there’s really only one sport that can get me off and that’s Figure Skating. A few years ago, I found a TV in the dumpster, brought it home, plugged it in and got one channel. During the cold, dark, winter months, the only thing I could jerk off to was their programming. Unfortunately, I was left hanging for a good part of the week, but I knew that when the weekend rolled around, I’d have some solid figure skating competitions to jerk off to. I’d watch these girls spin around in their elaborate costumes, parading their thick skating panties and ass cheeks to the world to appreciate when there was nothing better to appreciate out there. This love affair went on a good couple of years before I got drunk and threw the TV out the window because the show that was on was violating me in ways figure skaters never did, but I will always remember those shameful afternoons, with my dick in my hand watching the ice dance…no matter how bad I wanted it, not once did a bitch’s nipple come out of her dress, but yesterday, that all changed as this Russian skater showed the world her tit, 8 years too late….

Figure skating is the gayest sport to be a fan of, but an even gayer sport to take up, even if it means you are outnumbered by a ton of bitches who train so much they can’t find time to meet guys outside of their sports, leading to a lot of pussy for you, because no matter how much pussy you’re getting, dancing around on ice doing little hops, skips and jumps in glittery pants with skates on out gays the vagina. So despite thinking you have the last laugh while the rest of your friends are jerking off to music videos, it’s just a matter of time before the other male figure skaters win you over in the locker room and start giving you handjobs….

The good thing about figure skating is that it is on TV a lot and it is one of the only professional sports that you can jerk off to. It is a constant upskirt, camel toe, ass fest on ice where every once in a while one of the girls has a huge set of tits and a body that doesn’t look like other female athletes or a man and the only gay thing about that is that you have a penis in your hand and you’re making it cum, but I guess that can be looked over since it is your own penis.

Here is Katarina Witt performing what is said to be her last figure skating appearance with her tits.